Name: (Some of) The Best of Jim Gaffigan
Uploaded: 2021-02-04T18:28:13.000Z
Duration: 7 min 24 s
Description: Thousands of YouTube videos with English-Chinese subtitles! Now you can learn to understand native speakers, expand your vocabulary, and improve your pronunciation...

- It was the dog's third birthday, which,

Someone made that up, and we just went along with it.

"Oh, one year equals seven for doggies? Okay."

(audience applauds) I love watching movies.

You ever rent a movie that was released a while ago,

and you enjoy it, but there's kinda that awkwardness,

'cause you can't talk about it with anyone?

You ever talk about a movie with someone that read the book?

"Oh, really? What I enjoyed about the movie?

It only took two hours, and then I could take a nap."

You ever read an article, and at the bottom,

I can't even remember what I was reading.

You ever read the ending to a different article?

You ever read a book that changed your life?

Every now and then, I'll read a book, I'll be so proud

of myself, I'll try and squeeze it into conversation.

People are like, "Hey, Jim, how you doing?' "I read a book!

You feel almost guilty having it on a bookshelf, don't you?

People are like, "Hey, how was that book?"

I did figure out what type of doctor I would wanna be,

which is an anesthesiologist, 'cause just once,

I'm gonna give you some drugs so you can't talk or move,

and one of these strangers is gonna cut you open.

(audience laughs) so I can combine the two.

You ever see the anesthesiologist during surgery?

They're always sitting there like, (grumbles)

"I don't even know why I have to be here.

But I have a newfound respect for doctors, I do.

'Cause when you think about it, unless we're sick,

we listen to absolutely nothing doctors tell us.

Subtitles ListPlay Video

(Some of) The Best of Jim Gaffigan

intense

intimacy

matter

audience