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  • - Let's be honest, you could kick the shit out of me.

  • Let's be honest, you definitely could.

  • - I could hurt you. (Josh laughs)

  • (upbeat TV music)

  • - Hey, guys, welcome to Stir Crazy,

  • the only thing stopping me from eating a tub of ice cream

  • in the middle of the afternoon again.

  • You know my guest today as an entrepreneur,

  • an actor from "Fantastic Four", "Sin City",

  • and her recurrent series, "L.A.'s Finest".

  • It's Jessica Alba.

  • Hey, Jessica! - Hey,

  • hi! - It's good to see you.

  • How you doing?

  • - I'm good, how are you doing?

  • - I'm doing alright. - Not eating ice cream, I see.

  • - I know, you're keeping me from the tub again.

  • You're so obnoxious that way. (Jessica laughs)

  • I was hoping at least- - Sorry.

  • - I was hoping at least during a pandemic,

  • you might look like a mess.

  • Like you might like, "Oh, Jessica's let herself go.

  • "I'm actually not gonna feel-"

  • - I have a little bit.

  • - Oh, stop it.

  • Stop it (laughs). - Well, you know,

  • I did a little hair and makeup for you today,

  • but... - Okay, I appreciate that.

  • I have 12 pages of questions about "Honey".

  • Do you have that much time today?

  • Are you ready?

  • - No. (Josh laughs)

  • - I, or how can you possibly

  • have 12 pages though? - No, I don't, I don't.

  • I've been watching your YouTube videos lately.

  • You've become a YouTuber.

  • Like, you've like, you've like, really done this.

  • - You know, thank you.

  • - One of the things I like that you've been doing is ASMR.

  • Have you become like an expert in ASMR?

  • Like, can you, what's your favorite sound you've discovered?

  • (tapping teeth)

  • And this one.

  • (rubbing palms)

  • It's a good one. - That is good.

  • Wait, can you, can you detect this here?

  • Let's see how you are at detecting things, okay?

  • (scissors swishing)

  • What is that?

  • Are you doing this?

  • (scissors swishing)

  • Oh, scissors. - I got a problem.

  • - Ooh, that's good. - That's good.

  • - Nice, that is good. (Josh laughs)

  • - I do admire your willingness to put yourself out there

  • on the Tik and the Tok, on the TikTok now.

  • - Oh, mm-hm, see- - I feel like 90 years old.

  • - You're old when you say that.

  • - I know, I feel 90

  • when I say it. - Because they don't call it

  • the Tik and the Tok. (Josh laughs)

  • - Did you, were you dragged into Tik-ing and Tok-ing,

  • or are you enjoying your TikTok-ing?

  • - The kids were encouraging me, and I just said,

  • "You know, are people gonna think I'm like a creep?

  • "Like, is this creep status?

  • "'Cause everyone's a child."

  • And I think I was one of the first adults to join TikTok.

  • Not kidding, I'm not kidding.

  • I was like, "Is it weird?"

  • And they were like, "No, it'll be fun!

  • "Just don't be cringy."

  • And I was like, "I don't know how to not be cringy."

  • (Josh laughing) Like, I don't know how to not.

  • I'm just going to be,

  • so can we embrace that? - I only have one mode,

  • it's cringe mode.

  • That's my mode (laughs). - Cringy.

  • I'm gonna be cringy.

  • And so, I don't know, I like it,

  • and it makes me giggle, man.

  • It's funny.

  • - What's a good starter TikTok move for me

  • if I wanna get into the TikTok-ing?

  • What's, do you have a good piece of advice for me?

  • Should I...

  • By your face, I'm sensing you're like,

  • "Don't even bother, dude."

  • - (hums) I mean, you should learn how to do the "Whoa".

  • - What's that? I don't even, I've never heard of that.

  • Is that a thing? (upbeat TV music)

  • - It's like those, this.

  • So you go like that.

  • - Like... - But, but stop.

  • You have to like, boom, you have to hit it.

  • There you go.

  • But the other way, other arm.

  • There you go.

  • - I look really cool when I do that.

  • That's...

  • - You're very cool.

  • You can like, as if you're tossing an invisible ball

  • up in the air. - Uh-huh?

  • - Like that, and then you catch the ball,

  • and then you slam the arm down like that.

  • - Okay, let's try it, okay?

  • - Okay, ready? - Three, two, one.

  • (fist thumps)

  • (Jessica laughs)

  • (Josh laughs)

  • - Yeah, no, not that one. - No?

  • Ugh, I feel like, I feel like

  • the saddest old man ever. - It's okay.

  • (Josh laughs)

  • (both laugh)

  • - Congratulations are in order.

  • "L.A.'s Finest" is now in its second season.

  • - Yes! - It's a cool show in that

  • it's a little bit back to basics for you.

  • I mean, one of your breakthrough roles,

  • I always think back to "Dark Angel".

  • - Right. - When you do

  • like, a physical role like this, an action kind of a role,

  • do you go back in time?

  • Do you call upon some skills you developed back then,

  • or what? - Yeah,

  • I mean, why I even wanted to do this

  • is because I got to do action.

  • You know, I've worn sort of the,

  • the hat of a founder of a company for like, eight years.

  • And so, I'm in endless back-to-back meetings

  • about everything from supply chain, operations.

  • - You make it sound so glamorous.

  • - It is not glamorous. (Josh laughs)

  • It's, you know.

  • And I just needed a break. - Yeah.

  • What's the key for you to looking tough on screen?

  • I feel like if I try to look tough,

  • (Jessica laughs) I just end up like,

  • I ended up like squinting and looking like

  • I'm like, losing my vision.

  • Like, what's your game face

  • look like? - Or like, constipated?

  • - Yeah, like...

  • (Jessica chuckles) Like, that's not,

  • that's not gonna intimidate anybody.

  • - I think you can't really think about it too much.

  • Maybe, maybe that's my problem?

  • Maybe I... - No, that's your gift,

  • you're not thinking about it.

  • You just let it happen. - Really?

  • I don't know, I don't know if I'm

  • (laughing) that threatening though.

  • - No, you are.

  • Let's be honest. - Oh, good!

  • - You could kick the shit out of me.

  • Let's be honest, you definitely could.

  • - I could hurt you. (Josh laughs)

  • I could, I could hurt you, yeah.

  • - I feel like that was- - I could take you down.

  • I could take you down. - I feel like that

  • was a threat.

  • I'm suddenly happy we're doing this remotely.

  • - It's facts, #facts. - Facts (laughs)?

  • I have some provocative would you rather questions for you?

  • You ready? (upbeat TV music)

  • Would you rather go on an audition every single day

  • of your life, or never work again?

  • - Never work again.

  • You learn more about yourself whilst getting rejected,

  • you know? - (laughs) While feeling

  • like a piece of crap.

  • - Yeah. - Would you rather

  • run out of toilet paper or wine?

  • - Toilet paper?

  • - Yeah, I mean, let's be real,

  • it's and essential. - Take a shower.

  • - Yeah (laughs).

  • Would you rather sit next to a crying baby

  • dressed it as an adult on a plane,

  • or sit next to a crying adult in a diaper on a plane?

  • - Crying baby dressed as an adult, all day long.

  • I never wanna be next to an adult in a diaper

  • ever. - Yep, that's...

  • It raises- - I mean, it's fine,

  • it's fine if they wear like, their clothing over.

  • So like, "Shh."

  • but if it's like- - Visible on the outside?

  • No, you don't want that.

  • That's, that's dark stuff.

  • Would you rather have to always wear the Sue Storm wig,

  • or your "Sin City" leather chaps?

  • - The wig is easy.

  • I could do the wig.

  • The chaps are just not that comfortable.

  • - Would you rather always be on the verge of a sneeze,

  • or continually non-stop be passing gas?

  • - Oh, jeez. - Now, it can be silent.

  • It doesn't need to be a loud passing of gas.

  • - Oh, I don't, they're both so terrible.

  • Probably verge of the sneeze.

  • - Yeah, because the judgment around you, I suppose,

  • when you're constantly

  • passing gas. - I mean, who wants

  • to go through the world just like, funking it up?

  • No, thank you. - Yeah, well, I can tell you

  • some stories, trust me.

  • Yeah. - Mm.

  • - This is a random switch, but I'm curious,

  • are you the type of person that keeps any keepsakes

  • from the jobs?

  • - No, no. - Really?

  • - I should though. - Yeah.

  • - Yeah, you know what I stupidly did?

  • When I was younger, I had so many custom,

  • amazing red carpet dresses, and I donated all of them.

  • 'Cause I was like, I was always all about charity,

  • and I'm like, "Oh my-" - (laughs) I love that this

  • is your big regret (laughs). - I'm so mad!

  • 'Cause I'm like, I should've just given the charity money-

  • - Oh, I see. - And saved the damn dress.

  • - Yeah, at least you qualified it.

  • I thought you were going really evil,

  • and being like, "Screw the charity!

  • "I want my pretty dress! (laughs)"

  • - Dammit!

  • - Should we play some classic charades, Jessica?

  • What do you think?

  • - Sure, why not? (upbeat TV music)

  • Okay. (clock ticking)

  • What are you?

  • You're a bird, you're a bird!

  • A bird, you're swimming, dolphin, Flipper!

  • (bell dings)

  • - Yes. - Nice.

  • Okay, my turn.

  • Oh, okay. (comic whoosh)

  • (clock ticking) - Two words.

  • Movie.

  • Five, hand, two hands?

  • Second word is hand.

  • Second word is 10? - No, you were, you were-

  • - Second word is hand,

  • second word is hand, okay. (Josh laughs)

  • "Idle Hands"!

  • (bell dings) - Yes (laughs).

  • I didn't, I had no idea how I was gonna do idle.

  • That's, that's a hard one.

  • (both laugh) That is, that is.

  • It's like a driving, idling in the car.

  • I don't know. - Yeah, yeah.

  • Let's do another one for one more round, okay?

  • Okay, cool, ready? - Yup.

  • (clock ticking) One word,

  • it's a movie.

  • Fights. (Josh humming)

  • Tennis?

  • Strike?

  • Strike force Delta team?

  • What are you, you're making an X, you're Zorro.

  • You're...

  • Strength,

  • a butcher.

  • You're a butcher.

  • You're Leatherface, butcher boy, butcher...

  • What was it, what was it?

  • - "Machete".

  • - "Machete" (laughs)!

  • (Jessica laughing) Danny Trejo is cursing my name

  • right now, dammit!

  • It's always good to catch up with you.

  • I have two more hours of questions of "Honey".

  • Can you spare the time?

  • Are you good? - No, no.

  • - Okay, well- - I'm good.

  • Alright, peace!

  • - Things were going so well.

  • (upbeat TV music)

- Let's be honest, you could kick the shit out of me.

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