Hi.

Thank you so much.

No, it was interesting.

I I love hearing about the moms in the rap audience, right?

Quietly.

Something we could relate.

Thio.

I feel like a mom And at any rap show.

Yeah, right.

I always feel like a mom nowadays.

I have my my mom.

Are we started?

Are we interviewing?

Yeah, just like my next guest, you know, are from opponents.

You've got some great sets on there.

Also from solar opposite.

On who?

Lou.

Mary Mack.

Thank you for being here.

I'm always this.

Thanks for having me.

It's nice to be here.

I'm in.

Uh, Minneapolis This summer I was mostly staying in a camper up in the northern Wisconsin and the rial woods, and I did not.

I showered in a lake, and that was that was every day I write running water in my gratitude journal.

That's great, because yeah, it's not so much scouring in the lake as just soaking in filthier water.

What way?

Lived in a camper for the 1st 10 years of my life, we were in a Yeah.

Wow.

We could probably swap tips way could swap tips.

Where do you empty the septic tank?

Are you going with the blue one?

Do you want a compostable system?

Because those things never work.

I know.

I've gone through all that.

You know what I dio I keep I had I had to google the instructions.

I don't know if I should look at the camera at you, but I had to Google.

You want to look at the corner of your room?

If you look at the back corner of your room, you're my life.

Could be Yeah.

If you could completely turn yourself.

It's just more engaging my audience google the instructions on this European sandy party that came with my camper.

That was very complicated.

And I can't Ah, lot of people talk about the walk of shame.

Um, my walk of shame is when I, like, walk into ah wayside rest to empty my camper My portable camper toilet Because everyone knows what that iss They make him blue.

So everyone's like, Oh, there's all your feces That's your box of feces on There's no beige years Those blue your You're sandy Potty was blue.

I saw a guy get in a fight with someone of the camp grabbed while he was holding his septic tank.

He just emptied it.

And it's like, Well, you you lose whatever you're saying.

Oh, yeah?

How about you put some respect on my name?

I mean, it's like, you're you have a box?

Yeah.

Yeah, You're you just you could It's a lot.

It's a really exclamation point on.

Whatever you're saying is when you release your own human excrement out off receptacle.

Okay, In case you didn't want to talk about, I brought a list of possible topics.

Self learning.

Moses.

I'm not for it.

I'm the kind of person is like, just put your head down and shut up and do your work.

But you know what the pandemic has done for people?

Too much self realization.

E.

I learned about myself that the greatest sense of accomplishment I can ever feel is when I'm almost done with a bar of soap.

Wow.

Yeah.

You can see what you have accomplished your like Oh, all that showering is paying off.

And and it's like, Why do I get so excited?

It's not like you can cross it off the list.

Moses, you can't be like, done showering.

Um, but I get so excited because I never I've been on the road for 18 years like I never get to finish a bar assault.

But thanks to Donald Trump and this great pandemic of ours, I look at how good I'm doing.

Look how thin these are.

Are you brought it?

Brought it.

Never see him that.

Then, in 18 years, I've never finished a bar of soap in because I'm always gone.

And look at how good I'm doing.

Like, look at how e and no hair on him.

Look at this.

No hair, thank e.

Think you need to rebrand?

And you did sell thin soap for people that need accomplishments in their life.

Yeah, like the training wheel of soap.

Absolutely.

You get that thing, you get that accomplishment.

You're welcome, America.

If we're lucky, we'll have at least six more months of pandemic so I can finish these soaps.

Yeah.

Okay.

Moses, Do you have a superpower?

No, I have no superpower.

Well, I do.

What is it?

Is your boss, Conan O'Brien.

Since you're working for team Coco.

Yeah.

Okay.

So guess what.

When I wake up in the morning, I don't even have to do anything in my hair.

I took.

I got it on my phone.

My hair is as good as Conan O'Brien's.

As soon as I get up, you see that?

That's my hair.

In the morning, it looks, Look at that height, That perfect swoop.

What's the secret for waking up with good hair?

Sleep hard, sleep hard, have stress dreams, sleep hard, nightmares.

The sweat and anxiety Will x fully follicle?

Oh, sure, sweat, anxiety, dog hair.

You want it all in there, and then it helps.

It gives it a little extra lift before we move on.

The last business idea.

You didn't ask for this, but the superpower for the hair.

You have a salon that's just nothing but twin beds.

People lay in the salon and then they wake up with great hair.

That is a good idea.

You know what?

What if you did a little helper and you were like, I'll do their hair while they're sleeping?

Well, isn't that a time saver and a multi billion dollar idea?

I think only you could get away with that business.

I think that the smaller you are and the quieter you are at night since you're sleeping, Um, the better the more success you'll have.

And if you know a little bit about hair or if you have a battery operated curling iron, not very big.

Big help.

You don't know where their outlets are.

Moses.

You don't know if they got an outlet behind the bed.

What if they only have a USB charger?

And you weren't prepared for that with your curling iron to do list for Conan?

If you go, let him know.

And if you could let Ruthie and JP who also work there No.

The last time I was on Cornyn, they blew up my CD album.

My last video.

I have a different city album out out, but this one, they blew it up.

And then what happened was Conan and and he signed it very nice to them.

But then I started and some plastic in a in a closet in Los Angeles when I was out there, and this is the kind of air quality in L.

A.

You guys I just ate.

It's just the acid up of either the plastic or the air.

Just shoot it away like this is not supposed to be there, and they did a nice job, took a lot of time to sign it.

And now it's just looks like hell and I I really would like it if if they could find it in their busy schedules, if I could send them this and that could recreate it.

Maybe what?

Try to be as authentic as they were the first time?

Because I would like to put on my wall.

But you want the same message on there?

The same heartfelt message, but a radio.

I will pay the postage.

Hey, I apologize if my conversation is a little too mundane.

I'm enjoying this.

It's the small things in life that you gotta think about Moses, like in this time of impending doom and, um, wretchedness and it just putrid ity.

You have to just focus on what you can control the small things, right?

Like like who the fuck is using metal spatulas on my Teflon pants?

Whoa, who's Who's doing it?

Is it drags.

My husband's the only one that lives here.

Get that, miss Take.

This was a huge mistake.

You better You better not be using that on a nonstick pan.

I cook everything on a paper plate over the stove.

I have a very bad life and I have a can of beans like Dennis the Menace.

But this is the worst purchase I made in quarantine.

Hands down.

This is ruined my life.

I got cut on this to this idea should not exist.

I think this we need to rail against these.

Well, these are good for is picking up that last little bit of soap.

Yeah, right.

Well, you know what else?

That's good for drywall.

You could mud with that.

You can live with that.

So yes, a drywall myself, a new pan.

Is there a quarantine purchase you made that you regret or are absolutely love?

I don't know.

I can't remember all the purchases.

I've been doing a lot of Facebook marketplace, mostly for companionship, like I don't need Oh, you just want to get to know someone via like I don't even want an oscillating fan.

I did buy an oscillating fan.

I even bought a ceiling fan.

I didn't need it.

I just was like, I need to meet somebody.

I need to see a person.

So, like the driveway exchange is the most.

Um, it's the most human connection I've had is is like, Okay, I like I'm like, Okay, I'll Venmo you, Or I could bring cash, but you don't have to stand within 60 to me, But could you please just bring it outside and say hello and e I met so many nice people.

I 100% know what you mean.

It's very embarrassing.

And I did not expect to admit this, but I just My desk broke, so I had to get one off of Craigslist.

This like a new desk Quick for this and Ah, yeah, is this woman She came outside and gave me this desk and we were talking for a little bit.

And I had, like, like, nerves like it was like a first date, right?

It's scary.

Thio.

See, real people in Facebook is so much different than Craigslist, where it's like, No, I don't want any contact.

Here's cash and I wanna look atyou.

Facebook marketplace.

You have the whole profile of someone and they're queuing on theories.

You really can hit it off quick.

Sure you can.

You can really hit it off.

Quick or not, I bought these and I learned a lot about Q.

Great.

Well, um I got a problem.

Moses.

Yeah, I just added to my work load.

Oh, no.

See, one's gotta go.

They can't both be in there.

I can't shower this much.

I can't now.

It's not down now.

It's not too soaps.

It's three soaps I gotta use up.

I'm not wonder Woman.

Your life has has taken a real depth.

He started on a high.

We're very proud of this.

And then this broke.

Yeah, I'm just getting word that Okay, Yeah, that Conan is no longer sending the new album cover.

He's very upset about the this so Oh, yeah, yeah, he does want to invest in the sleep pair of business, though.

Oh, yeah, Sleep here.

That would be a great brand ambassador.

Sleep here.

That's where it's that that's the only reason I'm here pitching.

We don't need a shark tank.

We don't need that.

People already know they need somebody to do their hair while they're sleeping like it's a that's a no brainer.

Or if you wanna get going on it with this online Internet money you're making, you can please invest in this business It's actually called better hair.

B E D D E e Please invest, Please.

Please watch your stuff online, Mary Mac Comedy You Now.