Placeholder Image

Subtitles section Play video

  • - [Junior] No, you pay good money for a shoelace.

  • No need to throw the whole thing away.

  • - Let me try it.

  • - Oh, sorry, hi.

  • I'm just dropping by, uh, confessing to a murder.

  • Basically, there was a death.

  • A man was murdered in Thailand three months ago.

  • It's on the Interpol site,

  • and I am racked with guilt, can't sleep.

  • And I'm here to just confess and, you know, put my,

  • put the bracelets on me or...

  • Call 'em bracelets, right?

  • I was watching some cop show and they call 'em.

  • - Handcuffs.

  • - All right.

  • - What did you do? - What'd you do?

  • - Bludgeon a man to death three months ago in Thailand.

  • It's on the Interpol website.

  • And these are the war hammers that did it.

  • And I'm here to confess.

  • - What was your name again?

  • - Last name is Coe, C-O-E.

  • - C-O-E.

  • - And then my first name is Jillett.

  • - Coe.

  • - J-I-L-L-E-T, there's not an E on the end,

  • and there's a hyphen.

  • - I wasn't even listening, sorry.

  • - Hyphen Ben, Gillette-Ben.

  • - Gillette-Ben.

  • - And then last name is Coe.

  • - Cindy, could you get me through to...

  • - Thailand, country of Thailand.

  • - The Department of Justice?

  • We have got a detainee who has confessed

  • to a murder in Thailand, Mr. Jun Deep.

  • - Yes, sir.

  • Uh, two deputies to fly him to Thailand.

  • Yes, sir, we don't have a plane here at the Reno....

  • We'd fly first class to Thailand.

  • - Do all three of us. - Do I get to go?

  • (upbeat music) (plane engine roars)

  • - Have a seat. - Okay, we're clear.

  • - Come on in, welcome aboard.

  • Welcome aboard. - Clear.

  • - I'll be 3A,

  • Yeah, which is the window.

  • - All right, just twist.

  • Can you go maybe down under-hand there?

  • Okay, that's good.

  • No, that's good, that's comfortable.

  • Okay, how long has this flight?

  • - It's 14 hours, but regardless, sir,

  • we can't have you in this situation, it's not safe.

  • - No, we're first class, we are first class.

  • - I understand.

  • - Why don't you to switch over here so that he gets here?

  • - I don't mean to be rude,

  • but then we're at the same problem

  • where this is not safe for you guys.

  • You're already up, sir.

  • Why don't you head up over here?

  • I would insist, sir, that would be...

  • - But wait, 3B, 3B.

  • - Do we get charged to change seats?

  • Is there like a $50 like one of them fees that they do?

  • - Of course not, no.

  • - 'Cause on Greyhound, when you switch seats...

  • - They, they do charge.

  • - Yeah, they do, they do 35 bucks.

  • I wanna have the aisle seat.

  • - Great, if you can just have a seat, relax,

  • we'd love to get your beverages and get started.

  • - Yes?

  • - Hey. - Hi.

  • - How you doing? - Great, nuts?

  • - Yeah. - Whoa, (laughs) okay.

  • - Hey, these are warm.

  • - Yes, they're toasted.

  • - On purpose? - Yes.

  • - Toasted nuts, warm nuts.

  • - Just don't run with it.

  • - My associate Jones needs his nuts warms, please?

  • - Oh, you need your nuts warms?

  • Here I'll get it for you. - Absolutely.

  • - Goodie, goodie goodie bag. - No, no.

  • - I just got a little goodie bag.

  • - I got socks!

  • - I'm going open it and see what's inside,

  • 'cause I got a goodie bag, tissues.

  • - I don't want, I don't want, no, how much is that?

  • - It's complimentary.

  • - Complimentary meaning?

  • - Again, free.

  • It always means free, here.

  • - Could I get a vodka martini please?

  • Shaken, not stirred, a little dirty with two olives,

  • and put a shot of Jagy in here.

  • - Oh, okay.

  • Caribbean queen, now we're sharing the same dream

  • And our hearts will beat as one

  • - Excuse me, hi, could you just please keep it down?

  • Caribbean queen, and we're sharing the same dream

  • - I go high, you go low.

  • And our hearts will beat as one. ♪

  • - Yeah. - We all went low.

  • - Could you stop singing?

  • - Oh, mile high club! - Whoo!

  • - All right, which one of you masturbated in the bathroom?

  • - Not me, I was cuffed to a law man.

  • - Mirror is a mess.

  • - That don't count, that don't count.

  • - That counts, that totally counts.

  • - That don't count! - Of course it does.

  • Does that count?

  • It counts.

  • - You know, for a guy who's being extradited

  • for crimes in Thailand, you're pretty (bleep) weird.

  • - Well, I've never been to Thailand. (laughs)

  • This guy, this big old guy, got murdered in Thailand.

  • Someone bludgeoned him.

  • And I just said, know what I'm gonna do?

  • I'm just gonna, I'm gonna confess.

  • I put my hand up, and I thought,

  • I'll get a plane ride with drinks and gifts.

  • I didn't think it was gonna go this far,

  • and here I, here we are.

  • We's having drinks, and he made himself happy

  • in the bathroom and all this free stuff.

  • And look at all these little

  • little tiny soldiers on my armrest.

  • It just worked out.

  • (all laugh)

  • - We're going to Thailand!

  • - We're gonna keep an eye on you every minute.

  • - Oh you better, look at that.

  • - [Guys] Thailand, Thailand, Thailand!

  • - Please quiet, okay, you three-

  • - Hi. - Hi.

  • - You're being ejected from the plane.

  • - What? - Yes.

  • - You're gonna turn this plane around?

  • We're already halfway there!

  • We're still on the ground.

  • Okay, we haven't left the gate.

  • You've gone through six bottles of champagne in 28 minutes.

  • - Ooh.

  • (bleep)

  • - Yeah.

  • - Our bad. - Our bad.

  • - And the Marshall's already out there?

  • - Yes.

  • - All right, hang on, hang on.

  • I will just.

  • - Sorry everyone.

  • - I made two puppet friends.

  • - No, no.

  • - Please exit quickly.

  • - That's okay.

  • - Quickly please.

  • - Already cuffed, saved the Marshall

  • a little bit of work here. - Quietly.

  • - All right. - All right.

  • - Oh, hang on, let me, let me, let me

  • grab onto the bottom of your coat.

  • - Just goodbye. - Goodbye.

  • - So sorry, everyone, we'll be taking off shortly.

  • Thank you for your patience.

  • - Muppet Show. - Goodbye.

- [Junior] No, you pay good money for a shoelace.

Subtitles and vocabulary

Operation of videos Adjust the video here to display the subtitles

B1 thailand plane confess count hyphen murder

A Murder in Thailand (feat. Patton Oswalt) - RENO 911!

  • 0 0
    林宜悉 posted on 2021/01/27
Video vocabulary