Thank you for having me.

Are you a big cry, baby?

Yeah, I'm I'm a great big cry baby How often are you crying these days?

Cried Ah, lot yesterday.

What happened yesterday?

It was a bit of bad day.

It was just a bad day.

That's the worst thing.

My days bad.

Here we are at half a tank, so well, it's about to get worse.

Let's look at the stats and yeah, I don't I'm not seeing anything, so good man keeps saying all good.

We're okay.

That's limp our way through this.

Yeah.

Our first round is crying on command.

Whether or not you can force itself cry, do you think that you could cry?

I mean, I'm feeling pretty bad right now, so I'm I think so.

Yeah.

It seemed really happy about it.

Wasn't?

No, it wasn't funny.

That's fine.

Damage is done, but let's just move on.

Sorry, bro.

Okay, let's do it.

321 Oh, Brow.

My saliva is just so viscous right now.

Three tiers with told us having a bad day.

Hell, yeah.

What were you thinking about women?

Pretty much your girlfriend or your mom or just kind of Ah, just kind of a hybrid of, like my girlfriend.

And my mom is, like, one really big woman that feels sort of edible in a way you wanna always, like, have sex with your mother is basically the Oedipal complex.

Yeah.

Okay.

The sex round is cutting onions.

I'm just gonna ask some questions while we cut some onions.

Sure.

That sounds good.

How do you drop?

I actually used to work at a pizza place.

Really?

Yeah.

I try to eat pizzas off of the trays when people would send it back.

You know, just because you're like, Okay, it's free food.

I figure it's like, how often do you go to a restaurant and not finish your meal?

And just, like, spit on the food, you know, good rate.

That's just clean food.

It's probably clean food.

So I just eat most of it.

Okay, so when I say sad, you say childhood sad childhood.

Okay.

Does that make you think of you had a sad childhood?

Sounds like me know clearly projecting on me.

You're projecting your projecting, bro.

I'm not getting defensive.

Here was your childhood, like a happy childhood.

I was wanna have a dog.

I never had a dog, so that's kind of sad.

Yeah, I think my dad got bit as a kid and didn't want to tell us about it, so he would always make up all the dumb shit.

Excuse is like, you're allergic.

Then we have to go buy a caller and food and stuff.

That was the big threshold.

Like we have to buy a caller If we got a dog collars, like $2 like I could move along.

I could make it in 10 minutes, you know?

Yeah.

Cool.

So you've been dating your girlfriend Sabrina for two years.

Two years?

Yeah.

What do you love about your girlfriend?

You know, sometimes the world it's just kind of really seems too big.

And I feel like I'm kind of losing it from time to time.

You know, if I'm with her, it's like stuff is like small, you know, like like e.

I hold her and it just feels like nothing matters.

You know, like her include it doesn't she like she doesn't matter to me, but she's in close and I ask you something just kind of actually, like, straight up, Just like like the show and stuff aside, like, what does it feel like to be, like losing so badly at your own game?

Like, Is that good?

Or I don't know what you're talking about.

Speaking about somebody that's had so few failures in their life, Like I feel really out of my comfort zone.

I feel really privileged that you had you would feel so comfortable, like just failing so badly in front of me to really just give that kind of other side of the aisle like, Wow, that's how other folks live, you know, like, Gosh, that would be really bad if I had to be Jordan, you know, it's next round is smelling salts.

Apparently, it's gonna make us really, really cry.

Sure, I don't think people really use these anymore.

I think they were discontinued after 19 fifties football games.

Uh, and 321 Do you just breathe it in?

Holy shit.

Oh, my God.

Where was the last time you cried with your mom?

I went back home for Christmas and I accidentally got really blasted on some sauvignon blanc on I just kind of hugged her.

Close was like, Mom, I just wanted to say I recognized the sacrifice that you made for me.

Oh, my God.

Yeah, And I know that you wanted to do more, but, uh, you supported my nose hairs out of my face.

So you hit a million subscribers.

Yeah.

And you did a thank you video, which was so sweet.

Thank you.

I cried watching it.

I was like, Oh, my God, I really appreciate you saying that.

Just like so beautiful, actually, I printed on a comment that Hey, guys.

So part of the reason you have such devoted fans is not only because you're multitalented, but because you're so genuine and your interest in your work and your fan base.

Those of us who have been around for a while found you while you were small.

It's weird for me and others to what you grow so big because we know you deserve it and we support it.

But it's hard to watch you unhappy.

I do.

Is the thing is this your therapist?

I don't know what's wrong with me.

I think this next round we're going to pluck nose hairs uh, to see if that will elicit some tears.

Kind of don't really have any regard for my personal well being or appearance.

So you pluck a little guy.

I don't have little guys here.

I got watching.

Getting There's no in between.

Oh, my God.

I would call my mom in two weeks.

Did you call your mom every two weeks?

So honestly, it's probably not that big a deal.

I feel like that was kind of a tear.

No, not really.

Yeah, exactly.

Oh, no.

I hate you, you man.

I hate me to.

Your full name is Gustavo Meal Johnson.

Well, first of all, my middle name is actually pronounced a mammal.

A male like it sounds like anal.

That's like, that's bread and butter making fun of other playground stuff.

And she goes, no, even ran it through all the tests.

Like kids would make fun of this stupid idiot.

How did you grow out of being such?

Like a reserved where he worked, Kid, Um, I was honestly pretty shy, kid, and my mom came in and she said, Gus, I'm gonna make you do the talent show.

I'm gonna take away your cell phone and I'm gonna find you unless you do that.

And I was so pissed of here and I was like, Mom, what the hell is wrong with you anyway?

I went up there and I sang and I would all the women and ladies in town, So I want to tell Show.

Yeah, that's a fucking big tear, Isn't that What's that?

Right there?

That's a That's a tear.

That's sweat.

Oh, now for around called sad song we're gonna play sad song and see if it makes you cry Sure, this song is called Guess you could say Yeah, which is your song You play at the end Slate of all your YouTube video Co wrote it with my friend Joe Duma's.

Alright, let's see if it makes us cry.

Thanks.

I catch myself oils every day.

Just thinking of your gentle face.

Yeah, Can I say as a way a steady It's a good yes, yes.

Think of grace.

All right, I know I'm getting through.

Catch this perfect found found just yeah, you're not even remotely close, but things They're almost the words.

Yeah, Things next round is called using cry sticks to wipe them under your eyes and to see if that will make you cry.

That's the title card, for That's the title.

We score this one a little differently.

You get points for acting good.

All right.

So what movies make you crime in Going through the Lord of the Rings extended edition trilogy, but especially it, you know, Return of the King.

I mean, everybody's back home in the in the shire and and you know it's Thio Any logical person.

You just assume you know the journey is all done.

No, no, I know.

That's what I was thinking, too is like, No, there has to be more these years.

Don't count.

It's not running around.

321 go!

Nobody puts baby in a court.

Thank you.

We're dying.

Richard Parker.

I'm sorry.

You trust me?

And I've e failed you, not the peas Killing me won't bring back your honey e love the smell of napalm in the morning If you live to be 100 e wanna live to be 100 minus one day so I never have to live without you.

It's a one year membership to the jelly of the month Club e mean, that's the gift that just gives all year, isn't it?

You Bewitched me, body and soul.

God, I've had it with these motherfucking snakes.

There's motherfucking plane!

The truth is, he didn't want to marry me.

Hey, didn't love me titles.

What's Titus Process?

Ho tay toes Boil them, mash them, stick him in the studio.

You don't mean it.

It's just gholam talking.

Oh, fuck.

I'm gonna be Oh, I have one Try battle.

I have one cry battle.

I have one cry battle.

I have one cry battle.

This time they're telling me that you have one cry battle.

So, uh, congratulations to Gus.

I don't We can you know, we can recount the e.

I think they're pretty solid.

What does it mean to you To have one?

Uh, I think more importantly, uh, than that.

I think the people at home want to know just how bad?

Because I know it's very bad, but like, how bad does it feel to have inevitably undoubtedly lost this one?

The camps over you know you don't No, you're still crying.

Are you know the game's over?

So titles potato way, do a flame.

Sort of Think e don't think that really adds to anything.