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  • Why do we have to pretend to be helpless when we're not helpless?

  • Why do we have to pretend to be sorry when we have nothing to be sorry about?

  • Why do we have to pretend we're not hungry when we're hungry?

  • Women are not allowed to fail, And when we finally get an opportunity to do something that isn't normally done by our sex, we get one chance.

  • What?

  • How come men fail when people say you gave it the old college try?

  • But women fail and they say you gave it the old college try.

  • But you shouldn't be in college.

  • There's a new thing called a birth control pill.

  • Have you heard of it?

  • It's just a little pill, and when you take it, you can have sex all you want and not get pregnant.

  • However Onley married women are allowed to take it.

  • You know women who don't wanna have sex.

  • Who says the Food and Drug Administration doesn't have a sense of humor?

  • What do you mean, Big dick jokes?

  • You know what a leper convict lives with big dicks have in common?

  • They're hard to find it incredibly lucky or his dick was so big.

  • The Moyle had to bring a machete.

  • Okay?

  • His dick was bigger than Disneyland.

  • Better rides, too.

  • His dick was so big.

  • It wasn't Addicott all.

  • It was a Richard who?

  • His dick was so big.

  • Even when he cheated on me, his dick was bigger.

  • Dick, He said no dick jokes.

  • Keep it clean.

  • Jump!

  • No, Susie, you won't.

  • I swear.

  • Okay, So you are.

  • I will.

  • You're lying.

  • Was he just jump?

  • You jump.

  • You're acting like a four.

  • You're acting like a four year jumped to me.

  • You jump, you jump to me.

  • For the record, they said nothing about paying us in Tampa A lifetime supply.

  • But they do this to a man, huh?

  • Well, they pay him whatever tampon equivalent is for a guy and don't even have a tampon.

  • MENSA.

  • Really good.

  • Do not make me cry at this stage deli.

  • I don't want you to fucking cry.

  • You're starting to cry.

  • I'm not starting.

  • You are to starting to cry, and that's gonna make me cry.

  • Shit!

  • There's like water on my face.

  • Those are tears.

  • What does this look like?

  • You got a mirror?

  • We're going shopping?

  • Yeah, Right now I have dresses to buy and hats to buy and shoes to buy and purses to buy.

  • Should we maybe make some money before we go broke and have to blow job our way across Europe?

  • You want some lemonade?

  • No, I don't want any lemonade.

  • So look, like I'm sitting here thinking about some goddamn looking, sucking, whacking lemonade.

  • Just one, please haven't been anywhere near the beach.

  • And I have sand in my ass that says more about you than it does about Florida.

  • That was a big mistake, kid.

  • Big mistake.

  • Oh, my.

  • Excuse me, sir.

  • Did you throw a tomato with me?

  • There is no food, and I'm literally starving.

  • Miriam, I have to go.

  • I just heard the words Potato salad.

  • There's only so much a man can take in his own house.

  • Can I get you anything?

  • No, Rose.

  • Just just have to let this pass.

  • I'm not wearing pants.

  • I need to ask you something.

  • Can't ask me from there.

  • No.

  • Do I need to put on pants?

  • Yes.

  • All right.

  • Even though it's Wednesday and Wednesday is the day I stay home and work without pants, I'll admit that sometimes I tune people out, but mostly because they rarely have anything useful or interesting to say.

  • I don't have a 4 30 every day.

  • You know how much you could accomplish getting up at 4 30 every day.

  • No one's bothering.

  • You were 4 30 in the morning.

  • It's dark.

  • It's quiet.

  • No one's calling you on the telephone.

  • One more.

  • Sure.

  • Believe me, if there's anything you want to get done that you don't want anyone else to know about, you get up at 4.

  • 30 in the morning to do it.

  • I knew this fell out of Jersey cement business.

  • He always said, If you want to kill someone, you do it in 4.

  • 30 in the morning.

  • Um, yeah.

  • Okay.

  • I am gonna be all of them the rest of my life.

  • Amazing, isn't it?

  • You know what?

  • I am sorry, Mama.

  • I'm sorry that you are so disappointed in how my life turned out.

  • I'm sorry that you can't understand the turn.

  • It's taken.

  • I have certainly tried to explain it to you to include you in it.

  • But you don't want to understand or be included.

  • You just want to be disappointed.

  • The world is full of disappointments.

  • And sometimes people let you down You can't just run away And I don't wanna be alone Not tonight.

  • Tonight Just for tonight I really need to be with someone who loves me I fell in love with you the moment I asked you out And you said no Pointless no First time I laid eyes on you That was it for me Until you left.

  • I never left I don't know what I did I never really left.

  • Women are funny.

  • Your wife must have a sense of humor.

  • She's seen you naked.

  • Uh, don't like you Come back.

  • Do I call you or do I just commit a crime?

  • Probably committing a crime would get me to Ukraine.

  • This is me and my most inviting Thank you and good night.

Why do we have to pretend to be helpless when we're not helpless?

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    林宜悉 posted on 2021/01/27
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