Name: Getting a Cavity Search When Your Hookup Loses the Condom (ft. Brittany Carney) - Sex Fails
Uploaded: 2021-01-27T18:35:04.000Z
Duration: 5 min 34 s
Description: Thousands of YouTube videos with English-Chinese subtitles! Now you can learn to understand native speakers, expand your vocabulary, and improve your pronunciation...

I had to go to Burlington, Vermont for a few nights

which was frustrating timing as Vermont has no huts.

a Hallmark Christmas movie about a CBD entrepreneur.

It was quaint, everything was blanketed in snow.

And see what was popping on that platform.

I met up with a guy named, well, we'll call him Morgan

after the Morgan horse, which is Vermont's state horse.

Morgan was wearing plaid in his photograph.

transcends geographic and political spectrums.

I don't know, I was sort of wanting to connect

with the environs, and I wound up at his place.

We were fingering each other's clavicles.

I said, "Oh, by the way, it's that time of month."

After all, the green mountain state calls for adventure.

It was squealchier than usual, sure, but it was sex.

It was like slip and slide at Carrie's prom.

When we finished, I sort of attempted to cutesily,

We scanned the area and sure enough, it was gone.

By the way, this precise thing had happened

to me about 10 years before in a cabin on Thompson Island,

off of Boston, and it later sort of expelled itself.

So I was like, "Oh, okay, I'm gonna go figure it out."

and tried to sort of dig around inside of my innards.

I went back to his room, like a convincing Lady Macbeth.

And he was like, "No, we're gonna find it."

had me bend over his bed, like in this sort of medical,

slash science fiction, slash Dexter-like procedure.

But without a glove, because it was intimate emotionally.

fell from my canals and wetly hit the hardwood floor.

And I can only describe what happened there

First, how amazing that our two fluids that form life,

sort of married inside of me and my body,

Two, if I was 20 or even 25, maybe I'd feel mortified.

But in my early thirties, emotionally calloused,

And then three, okay, why do I have to now experience

I guess patriarchy exists, even in Vermont.

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Getting a Cavity Search When Your Hookup Loses the Condom (ft. Brittany Carney) - Sex Fails

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