and started breaking stuff,

I would, "Ladies, let's get in formation,

and kill some people."

And they would run into that shelf,

and one of the Barbies would fall,

And I would like...

And just like cartwheel across the room

and (beep)ing, snap necks.

Hi, it's Trixie Mattel.

And I'm Katya.

And we are two queens who like to watch.

And today we're watching some

of the best fights from Cobra Kai.

Do you know what karate means?

No.

"Empty hand."

Really?

My dad's a karate master, like legit.

But you skimmed a little info off the top.

You skimmed it, you didn't read it.

No, I did the whole thing.

I was one step before a black belt.

That is so your vibe.

Like, committing to the point where it might mean something,

and then you're like, "Mmm..."

And then, "Peace."

Spoilers ahead.

There is karate, but there is so much more.

You know what the best thing about doing karate was?

Tell me.

Seeing adult males nude in the locker room.

The first time I walked into the locker room,

I was confronted with a hairy, adult naked male.

And I saw his (beep) and balls, right in front of me.

And I thought, "Wow."

"Oh, wow."

Was it your dad?

No.

We're starting with a flashback to the original fight

that caused all this trauma for Mr. Lawrence.

Elisabeth Shue.

She's back from the future!

Did you ever wear these outfits?

Did you wear like, the headband and like?

No headband, but we had the, it's called the gi.

"Gi."

- Ooh. - Ooh.

What if he just leaned in

and started sucking the blood out of that nose?

He's conflicted, he's like, "I know I shouldn't do it,

but I'm trying to win."

Why you gotta blow up my spot?

I've got Johnny Lawrence coming up,

he's had a terrible day,

but he steps in to defend his new neighbor, Miguel.

Wait a minute,

this is the real actor from the original program.

It's brute time.

Do straight people act like this?

Hey, watch your car, man.

Explains why he smells like (beep).

"That's why he smells like (beep)."

Is he about to whoop their asses?

He starts with a kick.

Wait a minute.

Is this a show about an adult whooping the asses of kids?

Because I am so here for this.

You're like.

The next person who's like, you're in a shopping mall

and someone goes like, "Queer,"

imagine if you just got to turn and go,

"Not on my watch," and then, "wh-pshh."

"Who, who, psh!"

What's the matter, having trouble breathing?

Ooh, ooh.

This is fierce.

I love fighting.

He said (beep) them kids.

Would that be you if you got attacked?

Do you have like, sleeper soldier karate?

I think so.

I mean, I think I have arthritis though.

I'm old.

Well, did you see him, his first kick?

He was like, "Ow, ow."

Yeah, it'd take me a couple to get warmed up,

and then I think I'd get the fire of the devil in my eyes.

I'm so into that.

(Beep) everyone.

If I knew karate, I'd be in prison.

'Cause I'd have killed about 15 people with this foot.

Face me, bow.

All right, so up next we got Aisha,

who's joining because she's been bullied a lot.

But, does she have what it takes to whoop ass?

Face each other.

We should start all of our recordings that way.

Yes, we should, yes, bowing, yeah.

I'm sorry.

Oh, my God, Aisha, are you okay?

What?

So she could have just broken a bunch of his ribs.

She said, "I'm about to snap your (beep)ing vertebrae."

You know that billboard with a big ass (beep) on it?

Coming up, we're gonna see Miguel kicking some ass

in the cafeteria.

Why don't you shut the hell up

and stop being such an (beep)hole.

Ooh.

You want another beat down, Rio?

It's Cobra Kai.

Oh, my God.

Whoop ass.

I should have learned karate.

Drag is so stupid and this is so cool.

The way I would waste people left and right for no reason.

Then you'd just be antagonizing people,

innocent people.

I would be in federal prison

for killing people.

With style.

Nobody kicks anybody.

Oh yes, they do.

Look at the material.

Ooh, I love the tray, the tray work.

I don't condone violence.

I would love to see a really good fight in real life.

Oh, bitch, I'll be on a table

screaming "WorldStar," louder than you've ever heard.

Have you ever seen a real fight in school?

It's a lot of t-shirt pulling.

It's a lot of laying down.

It's so messy.

People go to the ground instantly,

and they're just grabbing, grabbing.

I would like to hit people, but not get hit.

Is there a version of karate that's that?

Karate.

That's right, right?

This is it.

We got Johnny's son against Miguel,

which is Johnny's like, star student.

Fight.

Do they ever just like,

like land a little slap?

Slap.

Yeah, is it ever like, "huh, huh, huh, woosh?"

Or like a?

Cobra Kai, Cobra Kai!

This is continuing the rivalry for a next season.

So, we're going into season two,

and we've got a little sensei fight brewing.

Ooh, look at that wall.

"Strike first, strike hard, no mercy."

That's me trying to pick up guys.

Still got that hot temper, huh?

That's the guy that trained him.

Yeah.

Oh, ooh, his gum fell out.

Into the trash.

Oh, fire. It was a cigar.

It was a lit cigar.

Oh, that was crazy.

Things are about to get a little wet up in there.

Coming up, Tory with a "y."

She can sure kick some ass.

The nerve of being someone who says, "It's Tory...

with a y."

Game on.

Oh (beep).

Whoa.

Face grab.

He just got the biggest (beep) from that.

Fellas, is it gay to let a girl

beat the (beep) out of you?

Fighting in the sand is a whole 'nother animal.

Okay, so Robby knows his little friends are doing crimes,

but Danny is intervening 'cause he's got the moves.

Oh my God, fierce.

Is old guys beating up kids kinda hot?

Absolutely.

It is a little.

(Beep) them kids.

I have to say, I know it doesn't matter,

but both these men

look great for their age,

- Yeah. - 'cause they were

in those movies in the (beep)ing 80s.

They look great.

Well, their training is paying off

because they get to show their stuff

in a wonderful mall fight.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

There's not a lot of mall security at this mall.

No.

What?

He like, swatted him out of the way.

Yes.

Okay, so this is a scene where one of these actors

is one of the original Cobra Kai boys

from the original film.

And, in real life the actor had cancer

and he's eulogized here by joining the cast.

Isn't it great?

You could suck my (beep).

Oh.

♪ This is the fight song ♪

They're just fighting the whole bar, huh?

They're just like, "Anybody else?"

"Here's a drink, sis."

Ooh, he's still got it with the ladies.

This is a very violent town.

Yeah, big time attitude problems.

Is anybody safe?

Do you have to learn karate to survive?

A lot of tough personalities where these kids live.

Samantha LaRusso.

So, big finish here.

The battle royale at the high school.

I'm coming for you, bitch.

Oh yes, intercom.

High school on TV is crazy.

"I've got you this time, bitch."

There was no chance you could ever

have gotten even close to the intercom.

This is high stakes.

This is drama.

My dumbass would have been National Honor Society,

like, "There's no running."

Oh, my God.

Get back in there.

Oh, they pushed her back in.

Oh, no.

Oh, my God, even the nerds are going ham.

Why is everyone fighting?

Oh, you want some of this.

Aisha said, "No, ma'am."

This is so wild.

Where are the teachers?

This is fierce.

You have to appreciate how long it must've taken them

to choreograph all this.

I did a fight scene in Hurricane Bianca.

It was the funnest thing I ever did.

Well to be fair, it wasn't in the script.

You just started hitting people.

You want to talk pent up aggression.

You wanna feel this?

Through the glass case, please.

Yes.

Is that the only way you know how to fight, dirty?

There are no rules.

Oh, (beep).

Someone's gonna die.

All these kids are going to jail after this.

I know.

Oh, God, damnit.

Oh, finally the police came.

Now a police officer?

Bitch, Cobra Kai is fabulous.

You wanna talk drama?

You wanna talk relationship,

not even triangles.

Parallelograms?

Squares.