Name: (Some of) The Best of Pete Davidson
Uploaded: 2021-01-27T18:11:59.000Z
Duration: 15 min 22 s
Description: Thousands of YouTube videos with English-Chinese subtitles! Now you can learn to understand native speakers, expand your vocabulary, and improve your pronunciation...

- If you don't know what Staten Island is,

it's like New York's abortion that lived.

but like not in Staten Island, not at all.

I just dropped out of college, anybody else?

and I think it's 'cause like the first morning,

We were like, "This isn't for any of us."

It was like this don't ask, don't tell policy

One time my roommate came out of the bathroom

I was like, "Fuck, we need toilet paper, holy shit."

'cause I went to an all boy Catholic school.

Here's something that should never happen

It just shouldn't happen 'cause there's priests there.

And priests are like sharks when you get a cut

I got my priest to stop hitting on me, though.

I'm a pot head, I'm pretty sure you could tell.

I smoke weed 'cause the commercials against it suck.

Like the cigarette commercials are good, they're good.

"How am I gonna smoke weed with no fingers?"

There's certain things I can't do when I'm high.

I can't play Call of Duty 'cause I'm afraid of dying.

Soon as the game starts, I just hide behind a rock.

"I'm gonna listen to these fifth graders call me a homo

All my friends are black if you can't tell

You ever have a black guy compliment your sneakers?

You're like, "Oh wow, these must be cool."

I'm like, "I'm gonna throw these out, these must,

"what do I look like, I have a kid coming?"

I'm from Staten Island, I'm sorry everybody.

If you guys don't know what Staten Island is,

It's this awful place where dreams die and

are women sex offenders, I think that's awesome.

If I turn on Fox News and the guy's like,

"Woman rapes three kids ages 13 to 17 in the woods,"

"You got that Boy Scout outfit from third grade?"

I'm gonna fucking die, I'm not gonna make it.

I'm like, "You gotta check the forecast first.

Subtitles ListPlay Video

(Some of) The Best of Pete Davidson

weird

realize

audience

straightforward