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  • -Welcome back, everybody!

  • Here at "The Tonight Show," we love songs,

  • and we especially love songs written by our fans

  • in under an hour.

  • It's time for "Battle of the Instant Songwriters"!

  • -♪ Certain song, and I'm singin' a song

  • And I'm writin' a song 'bout another song

  • -Wow. Welcome to "Battle of the Instant Songwriters."

  • Before the show, we found two people

  • who said that they were musicians here in New York.

  • I always like reading it like that.

  • They said they're musicians.

  • We gave them each a made-up song title and gave them an hour

  • to write an original song based on that title.

  • Here's a shot of them practicing backstage a minute ago.

  • Yeah, that's right. Hard at work.

  • Alright, I cannot wait to see what they came up with.

  • Let's meet our first contestant! Welcome to the show.

  • Contestant number one, what is your name,

  • and where are you from?

  • -I'm Rachel Brown. I'm from New York City.

  • -Rachel, welcome. From New York City. Come on.

  • [ Cheers and applause ]

  • Rachel, what instrument will you be playing tonight?

  • -I'll be playing the guitar.

  • -Aha. I do love the guitar.

  • Well, here's the deal.

  • Since the song "Driver's License" is huge right now,

  • we gave you a song title inspired by that.

  • What is your song called?

  • -"I Got My Driver's License At 35."

  • -Yeah.

  • "I Got My Driver's License At 35."

  • Yeah, it is, right? Yeah, it's a very New York thing.

  • -Yes.

  • -Alright, well, head on over to the stage

  • and get yourself ready.

  • "I Got My Driver's License At 35."

  • -That's how old I was.

  • -Is that how old you were? -Yeah.

  • -Oh, my God.

  • Alright, so this is going to hit home.

  • -Yeah. -Try not to tear up.

  • Alright, ladies and gentlemen,

  • here to perform the world-premiere

  • of the soon-to-be classic "I Got My Driver's License At 35,"

  • it's Rachel Brown.

  • [ Cheers and applause ]

  • ♪♪

  • ♪♪

  • -♪ They say that youth is wasted on the young, hey

  • Driving tests and riding shotgun

  • ♪ 17, where you gonna go? Just to drive through the suburbs

  • ♪ 'Cause that's all you know

  • And I'd say I saved the best for last

  • ♪ 'Cause who in their youth can afford the gas? ♪

  • Unless you plan on asking Mom and Dad

  • Though honestly I just had asked them

  • See, I was born and raised in NYC

  • Took a subway to the test at the DMV

  • And maybe that was my big mistake

  • Hey, which one's the gas, which one's the brake? ♪

  • And it's not 'cause I failed it for the first time

  • The second and the third time

  • See, I was waitin' till I was in my prime

  • Got my driver's license at 35 ♪

  • -Yeah!

  • [ Cheers and applause ]

  • Give it up for Rachel Brown!

  • That's what I'm talkin' about.

  • ♪♪

  • Alright, let's meet contestant number two.

  • What is your name, and where are you from?

  • -My name is Jordy, and I am from Los Angeles.

  • -Hey, Jordy from Los Angeles.

  • Oh, it's an East Coast- West Coast battle tonight.

  • Jordy, what instrument will you be playing?

  • -I will be playing the guitar.

  • -Alright, very good. Here we go. It's a fair fight.

  • Since it's winter right now,

  • we asked you to write a song with what title?

  • -"Wedgie in my Ski Pants."

  • -Okay, alright, perfect.

  • We have very nice writers here at the show. They're --

  • "Wedgie in my Ski Pants."

  • -That's right. -Alright, fantastic.

  • Now please head over to the stage right there.

  • Get in the zone.

  • Channel that inspiration,

  • and get ready for this.

  • [ Clears throat ]

  • Ladies and gentlemen, get ready for the world premiere

  • of "Wedgie in my Ski Pants," by Jordy!

  • [ Cheers and applause ]

  • -♪ I got a new pair of ski pants again

  • It was just a normal day on the slope with my friends

  • When I felt a little tug in my end, oh, God, why me? ♪

  • ♪ 'Cause I got so many gosh-darn layers

  • Feel bad for my bum 'cause I can't save her

  • ♪ I'll try and pick when nobody's watching

  • My undies always find a way to haunt me

  • My ski pants, they're smaller than me

  • ♪ I should have known, it's been a year of quarantine

  • And it's really not fair that they're riding up my derriere

  • Oh, my ski pants don't ever come through

  • And I'm stuck with these mittens that Bernie wore, too

  • At the end of the day

  • ♪ I'm proud of my dump truck of a rear

  • ♪ I got a wedgie in my ski pants, oh, dear

  • -Hey! Come on, now! [ Cheers and applause ]

  • How do you do that, man?

  • How do you make that -- That's beautiful in a weird way.

  • Give it up for Jordy!

  • That was awesome.

  • Thank you, bud.

  • Alright, to see which contestant --

  • [ Laughs ] The Bernie line. Come on.

  • To see which "Tonight Show" instant songwriter won,

  • we now turn to our "Tonight Show" instant audience!

  • Thank you for joining us!

  • Give yourselves a hand right there. Hi, everybody!

  • [ Cheers and applause ]

  • Now, you've all been watching this whole time,

  • so we're gonna need some help from you to decide the winner

  • by round of applause, okay?

  • Is the winner Rachel Brown?

  • [ Cheers and applause ]

  • Or is it Jordy?

  • [ Cheers and applause ]

  • It looks like Jordy is the winner!

  • Congratulations, Jordy!

  • ♪♪

  • Our winner is going home with $1,000

  • and a "Tonight Show" notebook for writing more songs!

  • But no one goes home empty-handed.

  • Our other contestant will get a "Tonight Show" notebook

  • and $1,000, as well!

  • Come on, now!

  • Give it up for your two new instant songwriters!

-Welcome back, everybody!

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Battle of the Instant Songwriters: "I Got My Drivers License at 35" vs. "Wedgie in My Ski Pants"

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    林宜悉 posted on 2021/01/26
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