You're welcome.

Nice to have you with us.

Especially since I understand you're going through a bit of a hard time right now.

A little bit of controversy about your Children's book.

Mr Chazz and Lisa Su, Meet the pandas.

What's going on?

Well, I've heard from a great number of panda experts.

Um, you're probably surprised as I was discovered.

There are a great number of panda experts on, uh, they have taken issue.

I actually chose pandas at random just as a fun animal to frolic with the Children, right?

They they occurred to me for no reason.

I know so little about the natural world that I had no idea that they were even from China.

You didn't know pandas were from China?

No.

Even I know that.

I didn't know there from china.

I didn't know they were rare.

I mean, you could easily have convinced me that the lawns of Greenwich were filled with cavorting pandas.

It could have been squirrels, pandas, and, um, I started getting letters when the hardcover came out.

Well, wait.

What are these panda experts mad about What?

What have you done to these pants?

feel that I have misrepresented the panda.

I mean, I've actually got letter to say Pandas don't eat pizza.

Really?

Pandas eat bamboo, which, in fact, is why they're rare.

Because there are apparently fewer and fewer bamboo trees.

Okay.

And that's why there are no pandas.

That is right so clearly that he should eat pizza.

We should send them pizzas.

Yeah, definitely.

These pandas talk.

So I was obviously, which is another pull the wool over the eyes of the American public.

I once, um, wrote a piece for Newsweek about teenagers and where I made a disparaging remark about guidance counselors and I heard from about 80 million guidance counselors.

And I think there is really an equation to be made here.

I mean, concerning the fact that we need none.

Yeah, the fact that there are 80 million guidance counselors and an equal number of panda experts who I feel actually had been the students of these guidance councils.

It's causing a lot of trouble s Yeah.

So what are you going to do?

I mean, if you learned a lesson next time, will you research the animal that No, you don't care?

You know, I actually, Um, offending panda experts really just rolls right off my back.

I'm not running for anything.

I don't have to appease the panda expert fashion.

I see.

I don't know how you sleep at night.

I don't Yeah, e understand.

In a similar vein, you've been working on the same novel now for quite a long time.

It's probably since you were born.

Really?

I feel like 78.

Well, actually, not much after that.

I feel that is important in this changing world.

Have something stay the same.

And so I clearly chosen this book to be the thing in my life.

That's the constant.

That's the constant.

Literally.

How can you work on a novel?

It's It's how close to completion.

Are you on this thing now?

That's really hard to tell.

It depends on how much distraction there is.

I mean, I could spend months on the panda experts, So, um, I would say that I'm getting I'm getting toward the middle, okay?

And you've been getting eso.

This is literally years and years.

You've been working on the same?

No, I haven't been working on it for years and years has just been due for years and years.

Being a writer is just very much like being a high school student without, of course, the fun.

E.

It's like always having a term paper due.

The only problem is, you can't do it the night before.

It's dio I know that since I've tried it twice eso just that I have poor working habits.

Uh huh.

I understand.

Well, you've done both.

Now you've you've been writing real adult books, not riel adult books.

I should say that you've been writing adult books and you've been writing Children's book.

What is easier to dio, um, Children's books.

Really?

Why is that?

Well, they're easier to fool.

Uh, which is why we like them, is, uh, it's just easier because I'm childish.

I guess it's easier there fewer words.

Um, the whole thing is much less complicated, and there are pictures that take up a lot of space.

So what happens when what happens when you go on TV shows say, like this one And you say writing Children's books is easy, Easier, easier Do Children's book authors now get mad.

You're gonna get letters from them.

Yes, you will.

You defended them now?

Yes, but they write in crayon on?

Sure, cardboard.

So, uh, all right, it's not that threatening.

It's not a threatening thing now.

We talked about this the last time you were on, but you don't like.

And you admit to this you cop to this.

You don't You don't like having people around, do you?

You really don't?

Not in my own home.

No, you don't like having people in your home.

That's correct.

OK, that's correct.

That's what home means.

Home means the absence of anyone but me.

That's right.

That's why I call it Fran Land on Franklin.

There's just not room for others.

Eso that this apartment that I have now I tor out two bedrooms.

Um, why?

Because they would be thought of by others as guest rooms.

Oh, yeah, that's pretty extreme.

To actually rip out guest rooms on the odd chance that someone might misconstrue it is a place toe hang out.

It's not a nod chance.

If you live in New York and you have a guest room, you have a guest.

Yeah, that's true.

That's true.

It's not like you live someplace out of the way.

It's not like you could freely say to people.

If you ever happened to be in New York, you can stay with me.

It z gonna happen.

Every airline goes through New York through my department.

Actually.

Now, what about is this?

Does this extend toe family, Aziz?

Well, particularly the family Noah's.

My mother stayed with me once, but my parents live in New Jersey, so there's not really necessary for them to stay overnight.

But on this occasion, my mother want to stand here for the weekend.

So I allowed it.

Since I thought, you know, she's my mother.

I have only 11 Start a trend.

You know, people want to say I'm also your mother.

I could stay here, so Okay, so my mother is allowed to stay there.

And did That went well.

You could share the same space.

And it was Okay.

Well, I slept on the sofa.

No, you know, so it was okay.

There you go.

From my mother?

Yes.

Who is now?

What about in just in life?

Walking down the street?

You interact well with people outside your apartment, then air you perfectly happy to see people know I'm not perfectly happy to see them, but unfortunately, I'm not in control of them.

So although they feel they're in control of you, you know, they make all these rules.

But I ignored.

Okay?

This is a nice attitude you've got going.

Yes, well, there were warm and fuzzy.

Yes, well, it works for me.

My mood hair is changing as we speak.

E feel very threatened by this whole thing.

Now how the oh, how do you feel?

You're also ah, bit of Ah, you have a fear.

I don't know what the technical term is.

Fear of technology or you don't trust technology.

You don't like technology?

I would say a distaste for technology.

Contempt, Contempt.

All right, That's the other side of fear.

How does this manifest itself?

I mean, I don't have to work anything.

If you can share, you can handle this.

You're doing fine.

If it was invented after my childhood, which was lesson I learned anything.

Um, I can't work.

It s so I just don't have any modern things.

What about your a writer?

Do you work on a word processor or computer?

All right.

With a pen.

Okay.

I wrote about it, but like a nice pen, like a fancy pen?

Um, no.

I write with a pen that is called a big click, which is an old fashioned.

It's an old fashioned ballpoint pen.

They're very hard to find.

So I mentioned the brand name in case they would like to send me some.

Okay, You know, you press down the thing, you know, I'm familiar with that concept, and you can handle that.

I press down on this button, and the kinds of merges right was posted.

More modern pens, which you sometimes have to turn and there to complement.

So if you sat down to write and there was a turning pen there, would you freak out and run out of your department in excellent excuse to not right for a few weeks.

All right, boy, where you gonna end up?

I guess this is a good question.

I mean, where is this leading?

Where do you see yourself going?

Say if if if If technology just keeps encroaching on us, I mean, it's getting harder and harder to avoid More and more people are using on, you know, our online with computers.

And it's becoming such a part of life.

Are you gonna just have to flee the country at some point live in Greenland or something with your big click or whatever it's called, and they probably have it there too.

Okay, a panda will sell it to us Street.

Yeah.

I mean, the more things the event and unless I know gives me less in common with other people and they're less likely to want to be guests.

It's a beautiful theory.

I love it.

All right.

Well, thanks, Thio.

Fran Lebowitz, for sharing your philosophy with us.

Very refreshing.

The book is Mr Chazz and Lisa Su.

Meet the pandas.

It's now in paperback.

Go out.

But don't buy the stuff about the pandas, right?

We should warn the Children at home.

They don't eat pizza by it, but don't believe it.

Okay, Fran Liebowitz, thank you very much.