Oh, my God.

And I spent so much money on clothes this weekend.

Well, you look dope, girl.

So yes, money well spent.

But I get you.

I also shelled out a ton of money this month.

Yeah?

On what?

Close to no, no.

I paid someone to call me out on all of my intimacy and commitment fears and basically exposed deep seated emotional issues surrounding relationships and abandonment that I had no idea existed.

Well, do you look good?

Thanks.

Holy shit balls, you guys.

I signed up for a life coach and a dating coach because he has some extras.

Helen, I wanted something to complement the three therapist.

I already they But I've been learning a lot too much for one video.

So today I wanted to hone in on one piece of advice I got from my dating coach that I have found supremely helpful in my adventures.

So I went on this date with this guy and I was talking to her afterwards and she asked how to go.

Was good.

Hey, was cute and funny.

And he's a creative person, which I like a lot.

And we have a lot of the same goals.

E Yeah.

You know, I want to point something out to you.

You told me all of these things about him that you would see on paper.

But you know what?

You didn't tell me.

Uhh his his man size because I didn't I didn't know you didn't mention anything about how you felt.

Oh, he's this quality, and he's that quality, but who cares?

First and foremost, how do you feel on that date?

Comfortable?

Safe?

Or did you feel self conscious?

Did you feel like you could be yourself?

Did you feel like you have to put on an act in order to get him to like you?

Uh huh.

Mm.

You're good.

You really good.

You're good at this.

Okay?

Yeah.

It's such a mind blowingly simple thing.

And when I really started to think about it all of my worst relationships, I felt bad.

In the beginning, I felt anxious, not good enough, judged, criticized.

But I was so enticed and blinded by all the shining qualities of this person and the idea of them.

And then I projected all of my hopes on to them that I just totally ignored my feelings.

Simple, right?

But how often do we consciously ask ourselves that when it comes to dating were so concerned with the other person?

Do they like me?

Who are they?

Are they compatible with my life or our values aligned that we don't even consider our feelings first?

Or at least I haven't.

But now I know I'm Anna Khanna.

Stay right here for a sponsored message from a gal who makes me feel in all of her talent.

Bethany Rad Law.

Thank you to better help for partnering with me for today's videos.

As you guys know, I'm a huge advocate of therapy, and I started better help last month so I could continue attending therapy despite traveling all over the place for work.

It's been going really well.

In a recent session, my counselor told me to create a self care ritual that I could do every day in the evening, whether that's reading for half an hour, having a skin care routine or even just having a cup of tea and relaxing with my cats.

Having a ritual in place is essential for decompressing and managing stress so better helps mission is to provide anyone facing life challenges with easy, discreet, professional, convenient and affordable access to professional counseling from a licensed therapist.

After filling out a brief questionnaire about your history and what you like to work on your matched with a therapist, scheduling is super easy and flexible, and you pay one low flat fee for unlimited counseling, which is awesome because traditionally one session with a therapist can sometimes cost of like $200.

You could go to better help dot com, so Chicana to sign up today.

That's better.

Help dot com slash chicana.