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  • >> James: GOOD EVENING, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, WELCOME TO

  • THE SHOW.

  • THANKS FOR JOINING ME, HERE IN MY GARAGE.

  • REGGIE, THE BAND, AND IAN ARE ALL JOINING ME REMOTELY.

  • AND, YOU KNOW, DESPITE HOW WEIRD THIS SETUP IS, WE'VE GOT A GOOD

  • SHOW PLANNED FOR YOU.

  • WE'LL BE CHATTING WITH THE DASHING ROB LOWE.

  • AND LATER, WE HAVE A PERFORMANCE FROM ZOE WEES.

  • YOU'LL WANT TO STICK AROUND FOR THAT.

  • BUT IT'S MONDAY, THE WEEKEND JUST HAPPENED.

  • A POINTLESS QUESTION, BUT WE STILL ASK, WHAT DID YOU GET UP

  • TO THIS WEEKEND, REGGIE?

  • IAN?

  • >> Reggie: PARTY CENTRAL.

  • >> WAS IT PARTY CENTRAL, REG WHAT DID YOU DO?

  • >> Reggie: OH MAN, YOU WOULDN'T BELIEVE IT.

  • I TOOK LIKE A HUGE DOSE OF THC AND THEN I-- .

  • >> James: AND BEFORE YOU KNEW IT IT WAS MONDAY.

  • >> Reggie: EXACTLY, NOW I'M HERE.

  • >> James: CAN I TELL YOU SOMETHING THAT MIGHT HAVE AN

  • IMPACT ON TONIGHT'S SHOW?

  • THERE IS A FLY IN HERE.

  • >> Reggie: OH NO.

  • >> James: HE'S TOYING WITH ME.

  • BECAUSE IT WAS HERE BEFORE, WE STARTED.

  • AND I WAS LIKE-- THAT.

  • AND THEN I THOUGHT OH, HE'S GONE.

  • I JUST SAW HIM EMERGE.

  • >> BREAKING BAD GOT AN ENTIRE EPISODE OU OF THIS.

  • SO I THINK WE MIGHT BE IN GOOD SHAPE.

  • >> James: YES, THAT WAS MY LEAST FAVORITE EPISODE OF

  • BREAKING BAD.

  • AND I MADE THE MISTAKE OF SAYING THAT TO BRYAN CRANSTON.

  • >> IT WAS IN A CONVERSATION AND YOU DID THAT WHOLE ONE JUST YOU

  • AND THAT GUY TALKING ABOUT A FLY.

  • AND HE WENT-- AND BRYAN, LOVELIEST MAN ON PLANET EARTH

  • WENT, DUDE, YOU KNOW, IT WAS A LOT OF PEOPLE'S FAVORITE

  • EPISODE.

  • AND I THOUGHT THIS COULD GO ONE OF TWO WAYS HERE.

  • I COULD EITHER GO OH NO, I LOVE IT, I'M KIDDING.

  • I JUST WENT NO.

  • NOW GUYS, I I'VE GOT IT TO TELL YOU, I HAVE BOT SOME GOOD NEWS.

  • I HAVE SOME GOOD NEWS FOR ALL OF YOU, FOR EVERYONE AT HOME.

  • THIS, RIGHT NOW, WE ARE IN THE FINAL FULL WEEK OF THE TRUMP

  • PRESIDENCY!

  • FINAL WEEK.

  • YEAH.

  • BUT APPARENTLY AFTER THE AWFUL DISPLAY THAT WE SAW LAST WEEK,

  • 57% OF AMERICANS NOW WANT PRESIDENT TRUMP REMOVED FROM

  • OFFICE IMMEDIATELY THE OTHER 42% WERE BUSY DRY CLEANING THEIR

  • AMERICAN FLAG AND BUFFALO HAT AND COULDN'T BE REACHED FOR

  • COMMENT.

  • 57% OF AMERICANS WOULD LIKE TRUMP OUT.

  • DID WE NEED THIS POLL, ANYONE?

  • I THOUGHT THIS IS WHAT ELECTIONS WERE FOR BUT BASICALLY THIS IS

  • THE PART OF THE MOVIE WHERE AMERICA HAS FINALLY DECIDED THAT

  • THEY ARE OVER THEIR TOXIC EX.

  • THEY GET A NEW HAIRCUT, UNWRITTEN BY NATASHA BEDINGFIELD

  • STARTS PLAYING AND THEY JUST STRIDE PURPOSEFULLY DOWN THE

  • ROAD LETTING THE WORLD KNOW THAT THEY ARE STARTING FRESH.

  • DEMOCRATS IN CONGRESS WANT TRUMP OUT ALSO.

  • THEY ARE TELLING VICE PRESIDENT PENCE THAT HE NEEDS TO INVOKE

  • THE 259 AMENDMENT AND REMOVE TRUMP FROM OFFICE OR THEY WILL

  • IMPEACH TRUMP FOR A SECOND TIME.

  • THIS IS A LOT ON MIKE PENCE.

  • HE'S SO CONCERNED, THIS AFTERNOON HE ALMOST MADE A

  • FACIAL EXPRESSION.

  • THE DEMOCRATS ARE GIVING PENCE UNTIL WEDNESDAY.

  • I DONE KNOW WHY WEDNESDAY, THIS IS BASICALLY THE POLITICAL

  • VERSION OF WHEN A PARENT IS LIKE RIGHT, YOU HAVE THREE SECONDS TO

  • START CLEANING YOUR ROOM, OKAY.

  • ONE.

  • TWO.

  • I MEAN IT.

  • TWO AND A HALF.

  • YOU BETTER START.

  • I'M ALMOST THERE.

  • AND YOU KNOW HOW TRUMP WAS PERMANENTLY BANNED FROM TWITTER

  • ON FRIDAY?

  • ACCORDING TO REPORTS, TRUMP WENT QUOTE BALLISTIC AFTER THE

  • DECISION.

  • I MEAN IS THIS, ARE WE SAYING THAT HE WASN'T BALLISTIC FOR ALL

  • OF THOSE YEARS LEADING UP TO THIS DECISION?

  • IT'S ALMOST A PITTEE FOR DONALD TRUMP TO BE THAT ANGRY WITHOUT

  • ACCESS TO TWITTER TMENT IS LIKE LEBRON JAMES TRYING TO DUNK

  • WITHOUT A BASKETBALL.

  • I MUST SAY, IT'S KIND OF EMBARRASSING TO SEE A GUY WHO

  • DESPERATELY DRIVES ON ATTENTION FROM OTHER PEOPLE SUDDENLY NOT

  • BEING ABLE TO GET THAT ATTENTION.

  • OF COURSE I'M SAYING THIS AS I AM TALKING ABOUT MYSELF DOING A

  • SHOW FROM A GARAGE.

  • MEANWHILE TRUMP ANNOUNCED THAT HE WILL NOT BE ATTENDING JOE

  • BIDEN'S INAUGURATION NEXT WEEK MAKES SENSE, HE LIKES TO KEEP A

  • LOW PROFILE, STAY OUT OF THE PUBLIC EYE AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE,

  • JUST LET THINGS HAPPEN ORGANICALLY.

  • IRONICALLY THE FACT THAT TRUMP ISN'T GOING TO THE INAUGURATION

  • AND CAN'T LIVE TWEET ABOUT IT, IN ITS OWN WAY DOES MAKE AMERICA

  • GREAT AGAIN.

  • MIKE PENCE PLANS TO ATTEND.

  • NOW, I KNOW THE VICE PRESIDENT IS TAKING THE HIGH ROAD AND

  • DOING THE RIGHT THING...

  • BUT IS THERE A LESS-FESTIVE SENTENCE IN THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE

  • THAN "MIKE PENCE PLANS TO ATTEND"?

  • AND WHEN IT RAINS, IT POURS, BECAUSE NOW, IN ADDITION TO A

  • POSSIBLE IMPEACHMENT AND BEING KICKED OFF TWITTER, EVEN

  • PROFESSIONAL GOLF IS COMING FOR TRUMP.

  • THE P.G.A. ANNOUNCED IT HAS STRIPPED THE 2022 P.G.A.

  • CHAMPIONSHIP FROM ONE OF TRUMP'S GOLF COURSES.

  • IN OTHER WORDS, THE P.G.A.

  • FINALLY FOUND A HOLE THEY DIDN'T WANT.

  • IT'S NICE TO SEE SO MANY PEOPLE TAKING A STAND.

  • IF IS, I MEAN I'M STILL NOT GOING TO WATCH THE GOLF.

  • BUT GOOD FOR THEM 6 EVEN GOLF IS TURNING ITS BACK ON

  • TRUMP.

  • THIS IS ALMOST TOO MUCH.

  • THIS IS PROBABLY WHAT IT'S LIKE TO WATCH RITA WILSON AND TOM

  • HANKS ARGUE.

  • THEY TOOK AWAY TRUMP'S TWITTER ACCOUNT, NOW THEY'RE TAKING AWAY

  • HIS GOLF TOURNAMENTS.

  • TRUMP IS ONE "K.F.C. BAN" AWAY FROM A FULL-ON MENTAL BREAKDOWN.

  • AND WE WANTED TO SHOW YOU THISMENT A MAN IN THE UNITED

  • KINGDOM TRIED TO SURPRISE HER CHILD WITH A PEPPA PIG BIRTHDAY

  • CAKE.

  • THIS IS WHAT PEPPA PIG LOOKS LIKE HERE AM

  • WELL, THE CAKE WENT VIRAL AFTER PEOPLE ONLINE NOTICED IT

  • RESEMBLED-- CAN YOU GUESS?

  • LOOK AT THAT.

  • BASICALLY, SHE TRIED TO MAKE A CAKE FOR A BIRTHDAY PARTY AND

  • ENDED UP MAKING A CAKE FOR A BACHELORETTE PARTY.

  • YOU CAN'T EVEN CALL THAT A BOTCHED PEPPA PIG CAKE.

  • THAT'S A PENIS CAKE WITH EYEBALLS.

  • AND FINALLY, THIS IS FUN, YESTERDAY FOR THE FIRST TIME

  • EVER, AN NFL GAME WAS BROADCAST ON NICKELODEON WHICH MEANT THAT

  • THERE WERE SOME CHANGES TO THE BROADCAST, INCLUDING THE

  • ADDITION OF VIRTUAL SLIME CANONS.

  • TO THE END ZONE.

  • OH, ON THE FLOOR FIRST, THERE WE GO WITH THE SLIME CANONS.

  • HEY, THAT IS EPIC.

  • AND THEN ON TOP OF THAT, WHENEVER THERE WAS A PENALTY,

  • YOUNG SHELL DONE WOULD POP UP AND EXPLAIN.

  • >> OFFENSE NUMBER 51 FIVE YARD PENALTY, IT REMAINS THIRD

  • DOWN.

  • >> A FALSE START WHEN A DEFENSIVE PLAYER MOVES PRIOR TO

  • THE SNAP LIKE WHEN DAD STARTS SHOVELING IN DINNER BEFORE MOM

  • SAYS GRACE.

  • >> THANK YOU, YES.

  • >> I THINK IT'S KIND OF CUTE.

  • ALTHOUGH IF YOU WANT TO MAKE IT REALLY INTERESTING, YOU KNOW

  • WHAT I SAY, JUST PUT YOUNG SHELL DON ON THE-- SHELDON ON THE

  • FIELD.

  • MAKE IT A BONUS POINT, IF A TEAM CAN GRAB YOUNG SHELL DONE AND

  • RUN WITH HIM THE ENTIRE FIELD AND GET HIM OVER THE TOUCHDOWN

  • LINE.

  • >> MEANWHILE ON THE NFL GAME ON BRAVO, INSTEAD OF GATORADE, THE

  • PLAYERS DOUSED THEIR HEAD COACH WITH A TUB OF CHEAP RED WINE.

  • AN NFL GAME ON NICKELODEON.

  • IT ALL WENT FINE UNTIL THE THIRD QUARTER WHEN THE GAME HAD TO BE

  • POSTPONED AFTER SPONGEBOB GOT LOADED AND HIT THE FIELD.

>> James: GOOD EVENING, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, WELCOME TO

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