SAY HELLO TO OUR FRIEND JON BATISTE.

JON, YOU AND THE BAND SOUND GREAT IN THOSE BUMPERS.

I NEED THE ENERGY.

YOU GUYS ALWAYS BRING THE JOY.

HOW ARE YOU DOING?

IT'S A VERY DARK TIME.

>> Jon: YOU KNOW WHAT?

IT'S NINE DAYS TILL INAUGURATION, BUT I KEEP

THINKING, WE HAVE YEARS AND YEARS AND YEARS OF WORK TO DO,

SO I'M TRYING TO BUILD MYSELF UP TO DO THE WORK.

THAT'S HOW I'M DOING.

>> Stephen: WELL, IF YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT THE WORK IS,

PLEASE GIVE ME AN ASSIGNMENT.

IN THE MEANTIME, DO YOU HAVE ANY MORE OF THAT -- DO YOU HAVE ANY

MORE JOY IN YOUR FINGERTIPS YOU CAN SHARE WITH AMERICA?

>> Jon: OH, MY GOODNESS, ALWAYS.

♪♪♪ >> Stephen: THANK YOU, JON.

JON BATISTE, EVERYBODY.

MY GUEST TONIGHT IS AN ACTOR, WRITER, DIRECTOR AND COMEDIAN.

PLEASE WELCOME TO "A LATE SHOW," CHRIS ROCK!

HELLO, CHRIS ROCK.

>> WOW!

NO MUSIC, NOTHIN'!

>> Stephen: NOPE.

NOPE.

>> NOTHIN'!

>> Stephen: NO.

WELCOME TO THE DESERT.

>> WOW!

THOSE CHARLIE ROSE PILLS ARE KICKING IN, MAN!

( LAUGHTER ) WOW!

>> Stephen: MM-HMM.

IT'S LONELY OUT HERE.

>> WHOA HOA, HOA!

>> Stephen: DO YOU KNOW WHAT THE WEIRDEST PART IS?

AFTER TEN MONTHS, IT STOPS FEELING WEIRD.

THAT'S WHEN YOU KNOW YOU'RE IN TROUBLE.

THIS FEELS NORMAL NOW.

>> YOU INTERVIEW GORBACHEV?

WHAT'S GOING ON?

>> Stephen: IF WE PLUNGED EVERYTHING IN DARKNESS, WE WOULD

DO THAT.

THIS IS WELCOME TO "THE LATE SHOW"'S TINY DESK CONCERT WITH

STEPHEN COLBERT AND CHRIS ROCK.

>> YES.

>> Stephen: CHRIS, I'M SO HAPPY TO HAVE YOU ON.

I'VE NEVER HAD A CHANCE TO INTERVIEW YOU BEFORE.

THANKS FOR BEING HERE.

>> REALLY?

>> Stephen: NEVER.

WE'RE BOTH FROM SOUTH CAROLINA, IF THAT MEANS

ANYTHING.

>> Stephen: I DON'T KNOW IF THAT DOES.

LET'S INTO THAT FOR A SECOND.

I DON'T KNOW IF THAT MEANS ANYTHING.

PEOPLE SAY YOU MUST KNOW CHRIS ROCK, HE'S FROM SOUTH CAROLINA.

I SAID, HE LEFT WHEN HE WAS PRETTY YOUNG AND, B, THE PEOPLE

WHO SAY THAT HAVEN'T SPENT MUCH TIME IN SOUTH CAROLINA.

THEY DON'T UNDERSTAND THERE ARE TWO VERY DIFFERENT

SOUTH CAROLINAs.

>> VERY DIFFERENT.

>> Stephen: DO YOU KNOW THE STATE MOTTO.

>> WHAT IS THE STATE MOTTO, STEPHEN?

>> Stephen: IT IS DOOM SPIRO SPARROW, WHILE I BREATHE, I

HOPE.

>> OKAY.

>> Stephen: THAT'S NOT TOO BAD.

ONE OF THE THINGS I INTRODUCED YOU AS IS A WRITER, DIRECTOR,

PRODUCER AND COMEDIAN.

WHICH OF THOSE IS MOST IMPORTANT TO YOU?

YOU HAVE TO PICK ONE.

>> CAPRICORN.

>> Stephen: OKAY.

NO.

COMEDIAN.

COMEDIAN IS MY, YOU KNOW, I MEAN, I'M IN THE TOP 20, WHERE I

WOULD BE IN THE TOP 700 ACTORS.

SO I WOULD RATHER BE, YOU KNOW --

>> Stephen: AND THE COMEDY LEADS TO EVERYTHING ELSE.

THAT'S THE NUCLEAR REACTOR THAT DRIVES THE WHOLE MACHINE.

>> YES, HARD DOING COMEDY RIGHT NOW.

>> Stephen: IT IS.

THOUGH I SAW YOUR SPECIAL, AND TOTAL BLACKOUT, AND I WAS VERY

GRATEFUL FOR IT.

>> THANK YOU.

>> Stephen: IT'S FROM SOMEWHAT TO HAVE THE BEFORE TIMES.

IT'S NOT FROM THIS MOMENT RIGHT NOW.

>> NO.

>> Stephen: BUT I WAS GRATEFUL YOU WERE ABLE TO BE IN FRONT OF

AN AUDIENCE.

I LOVED HEARING THAT LAUGHTER.

>> GOD GOD, I CAN'T WAIT, MAN!

I CAN'T WAIT!

IT'S HARD DOING COMEDY.

GOVERNMENT MUMFORD & SONS TAKING OVER THE CAPITOL.

I'M, LIKE, IS THAT WINSTON?

THAT'S WINSTON!

WOW!

IT'S CRAZY, JUST THE WHOLE COUNTRY'S JUST LOSING IT!

DID YOU SEE PELOSI ON "60 MINUTES" LAST NIGHT WHEN

THEY ASKED HER ABOUT A.O.C.?

WHOA!

IT WAS LIKE ASKING NIKKI MY IMAGINE A CARDI B -- NICKY

MINAGE A CARDI B QUESTION.

EGOT PLENTY OF EMCEES!

FEELING REALLY OLD AND RICH RIGHT NOW.

AND THEN PICKING UP THAT GIRL, MIA PONSETTO.

>> Stephen: THE ONE THAT GAYLE INTERVIEWED ABOUT THE PHONE?

>> YEAH, GUESS WHAT?

I GOT YOUR PHONE, BITCH!

>> Stephen: IT WAS YOU?

IT WAS ME!

I TOOK IT AND I'M NEVER GIVING IT BACK!

>> Stephen: ONE TO HAVE THETOMICS YOU COVER IN YOUR IN

EFFECT SPECIAL IS THE WAY -- I MEAN, WE'VE TALKED ABOUT THIS

FOR YEARS, BE UH THE WAY BLACK PEOPLE ARE TREATED BY POLICE,

AND WHEN YOU LOOK AT -- COMPARE THE "BLACK LIVES MATTER"

PROTESTS AND HOW THEY WERE TREATED AND HOW THE TROOPS WERE

BROUGHT OUT TO PROTECT THE LINCOLN MEMORIAL FROM BLACK

PROTESTORS, AND THERE WERE TANKS IN THE STREETS OF VARIOUS TOWNS

INCLUDELE THE CAPITOL OF THE UNITED STATES, AND THEY WERE

SHOOTING TEAR GAS AND RUBBER BULLETS, AND THEN YOU SEE THERE

IS THIS LIGHTWEIGHT REACTION TO ARMED MILITIAS, WHAT DOES THAT

MAKE YOU THINK?

>> YEAH, WITH "BLACK LIVES MATTER," THEY HAD, LIKE, APACHE

HELICOPTERS, AND FOR THIS THERE WAS FOOD TRUCKS OUTSIDE!

IT WAS, LIKE, THEY WERE SELLING BURRITOS!

I WAS, LIKE, WHAT WAS GOING ON?

IF POPCORN WAS BLACK, THEY'D NOT SELL IT IN THE MOVIE THEATERS.

YOU COULD SAY THAT.

IF FRUIT WAS BLACK, YOU WOULD NOT PUT WHIPPED CREAM ON IT!

WHATEVER!

IF EMINEM WAS BLACK HE WOULD BE SACKING GROCERY.

>> Stephen: I'LL MOVE ON TO THE NEXT QUESTION.

I HAVE A SLIGHT BONE TO PICK WITH YOU.

>> WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO PICK WITH ME, STEPHEN?

>> Stephen: THIS RIGHT HERE.

THIS PHOTO FROM LAST FALL.

DO YOU SEE THAT?

>> OH, YEAH.

>> Stephen: WE ARE ESSENTIALLY THE SAME AGE.

A, I DON'T BELIEVE A MAN IN HIS 50s SHOULD HAVE ABS, AND, B, I

FIND IT OFFENSIVE FOR A COMEDIAN TO BE SEXY.

WHAT IS THE MEANING TO HAVE THIS, SIR?

ANSWER FOR YOURSELF.

>> EVERYTHING YOU JUST SAID, I DON'T KNOW HOW IT GOT THERE.

I LEARNED HOW TO SWIM THIS SUMMER.

>> Stephen: OH.

O IT WAS KIND OF LIKE ONE OF THESE WEIRD THINGS.

IT WAS JUST A PRODUCT OF SWIMMING.

>> Stephen: I ACTUALLY -- I WAS ACTUALLY NOT SURPRISED BY

YOUR ABS, BECAUSE I'VE SEEN YOUR ABS.

I'VE SEEN YOUR ABS IN PERSON.

DO YOU WANT TO KNOW WHERE THAT IS?

>> WHERE?

>> Stephen: I WAS AT A VERY NICE RESORT A FEW YEARS AGO,

DOWN IN THE CARIBBEAN, AND IT WAS A BRAND-NEW RESORT, AND I

DIDN'T KNOW IF IT WAS ANY GOOD, AND I'M SITTING THERE ON THE

BEACH WITH MY FAMILY AND I LOOKED DOWN THE PEACH WITH AND I

THOUGHT, OH, THIS MUST BE A VERY GOOD RESORT BECAUSE THAT'S CHRIS

ROCK ABOUT TEN CHAIRS AWAY FROM ME WITH AN EXTREMELY ATTRACTIVE,

EXTREMELY YOUNG WOMAN.

DID YOU SEE ME?

>> THOSE WERE THE DAYS...

>> Stephen: DID YOU SEE ME?

I DON'T -- DID WE SPEAK?

DID WE?

>> Stephen: NO, PEOPLE SAID YOU SHOULD SAY HI TO HIM, YOU'RE

BOTH FROM IS SOUTH CAROLINA.

I SAID, NO, IT DOESN'T MATTER!

THAT DOESN'T COUNT!

SO, NO, I DIDN'T GO OVER AND SAY HI.

I WAS URGED TO.

>> WE COULD HAVE HAD A PINA COLADA OR SOMETHING, THAT

WOULD HAVE BEEN NICE.

I WATCH YOU ALL THE TIME.

>> Stephen: I LOVE WHAT YOU SAY IN THE SPECIAL ABOUT LANDING

TO GO TO A RESORT.

>> YEAH, JUST THAT RIDE, THERE'S NOTHING SCARIER THAN THE RIDE

FROM THE AIRPORT TO THE RESORT.

YOU SEE THE WORST POVERTY IN THE WORLD, AND THEN, YOU KNOW, IT'S

LIKE DEAD BABIES AND STUFF AND THEN YOU GET A PINA COLADA AND

YOU'RE LIKE, MMM, JAMAICA'S NICE!

YOU FORGIVE EVERYTHING.

IT'S SO SAD, STEPHEN.

IT'S SO SAD.

>> Stephen: WE HAVE TO TAKE A QUICK BREAK.

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH MORE CHRIS ROCK!

♪♪♪