Name: Pete Holmes Is Grateful He Isn't A Magician - CONAN on TBS
Uploaded: 2020-12-24T18:40:10.000Z
Duration: 4 min 51 s
Description: Thousands of YouTube videos with English-Chinese subtitles! Now you can learn to understand native speakers, expand your vocabulary, and improve your pronunciation...

You ever hail a cab just to stop it from hitting you?

Big week in my apartment building this week.

I don't know how I was getting by without the phone book.

Open the door, it was staring up at me from the floor like,

here, we printed a portion of the internet

to be grateful that you're not a magician?

Comedy audiences come out to have a good time.

where 90% of the crowd is trying to ruin it for themselves.

if close-minded threatened dudes just like, nope.

You proved what none of us were trying to prove.

The boy onstage is not actually a wizard.

I was at a show recently where I saw a man fly.

You're not thinking, imagine if I flew right now.

If I could figure out the muscle in my butt

that I need to flex, it's working, and I just took off.

picked some of you up with me, we flew around.

And suddenly, I'm eight again and I'm filled with majesty.

And a guy next to me, I don't know this guy,

First of all, shut your mouth and enjoy the show.

I think those are just two things he doesn't understand.

Like, I don't get magnets and I don't get this.

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Pete Holmes Is Grateful He Isn't A Magician - CONAN on TBS

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