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  • What a shame to say goodbye to 2020 I will say, In the spirit of 2020 we've decided that tonight show is gonna be Today was a huge milestone for the presidential election.

  • The Electoral College gathered in all 50 states today and officially confirmed Joe Biden's victory.

  • Congratulations, Yusa.

  • Congratulations, World.

  • This is a relief.

  • I would hate to start another week of shows without talking about the same election results we've all known for the last month and a half z.

  • I mean, it's all over now.

  • At this point, Trump's only remaining option is just kind of going limp and just laying on the Oval Office floor like my three year old does when they refused to leave a toy store.

  • Come on, we're going.

  • I'm not doing anything.

  • I will rally.

  • Moving on.

  • Over the weekend, President Trump gave his first interview since the election, and he's still claiming that he won, You know, because of the bookies.

  • The election was over a 10 o'clock in the evening.

  • I had one.

  • It was 97 98%.

  • All of the bookies all over the world was saying the election's over.

  • They wouldn't even take bets on it.

  • And then all of a sudden, around 11 o'clock ballots start getting dropped, they wouldn't even take bets on it.

  • You know what we gather from this?

  • You know what?

  • This?

  • I think there's 100% means Trump tried to bet on the election, which it's official.

  • Attorney General Bill Bar is resigning.

  • Bar met with the president last night and said that he will leave office next week.

  • Maybe now, maybe now he'll have the time to finally read that Mueller report.

  • Bill Bar has resigned as attorney general, as opposed to before, when Bar was simply resigned to his fate of defending every stupid thing that Donald Trump has ever said.

  • I don't I looked at this bar and Trump.

  • They couldn't have been that close.

  • They couldn't have been close.

  • They couldn't otherwise.

  • Bar would have got coronavirus like he's the only one who didn't get covert.

  • I mean, he was never in there, but his resignation letter didn't go into much detail, but Bar did say that he plans to spend more time being mistaken for Elton John with regular glasses.

  • Yeah, the new interim attorney general will be Jeff Rosen or is Trump calls him less hot.

  • Mike Pence Vice president Mike Pence is about to find himself in quite uncomfortable situation.

  • On January 6th, he has to appear in front of Congress to confirm Joe Biden's victory over Donald Trump.

  • Well, word has just come out that Pence will then immediately travel to the Middle East to avoid the wrath of Trump and his supporters.

  • True, it could be, you know, things.

  • A turbulent in the White House.

  • When you go to the Middle East for a bit of peace and quiet, he's stopping in Bahrain and Israel.

  • He's then headed off to Poland.

  • Auras.

  • Mike Pence calls that a real tropical get away now.

  • Poland usually has quite a bit of snow this time of year.

  • So chances are this is what Mike Pence is gonna look like in all of his photos.

  • President elect Joe Biden went to Georgia to campaign for the Senate runoff election, and during his speech last night, he referred.

  • He referenced the state's multiple recounts and thank you for standing strong to make sure your voices were heard.

  • Your votes were counted and counted and count it again.

  • I started to feel like I won Georgia three times Way feel the exact same way.

  • When Trump heard this, he was like Georgia voted three times.

  • Giuliani, Get down there and hold a press conference in the hot tub emporium.

  • Meanwhile, Trump's neighbors in Florida are taking legal action to make sure he can't permanently move into March a Lago after he leaves the White House.

  • Apparently, current zoning regulations ban anybody from using.

  • The club has a full time residents.

  • Can you imagine not being allowed to live somewhere in Florida?

  • Yeah, that's dark.

  • That's dark that the neighbors the neighbors don't want.

  • Trump at March A Lago, you know where they wanted to go.

  • GMO.

  • You know they want to go far Largo.

  • Big news guys.

  • It's happening.

  • The first coronavirus vaccines have been administered here in the United States.

  • Yeah, it's happening.

  • It's look at that given out vaccine dunk, Making the vaccine the second hottest item to get this Christmas behind the PlayStation five.

  • The very first dose went to a critical care nurse in New York.

  • Needless to say, her tinder is blowing up issues here.

  • Here she is here, getting her show.

  • Look at that.

  • I know she's getting the vaccine.

  • But the guy in that suit, he is standing way closer than 6 ft, like, just just back off for, like, a month, bro, for look at that picture.

  • You know that 2020 has been weird because I'm looking at a person in a face mask getting injected, and I'm thinking I cannot wait for that to be me.

  • Did you guys see this earlier today?

  • The FDA confirmed that Madonna's cove in 19 vaccine is safe and effective, which means we may have to approved vaccines by the end of the week.

  • I mean, inject this news straight into my veins.

  • Reggie.

  • I'm gonna get both.

  • I'm in both Pfizer.

  • Madonna.

  • Bang.

  • Let's see.

  • Oh, Pfizer, Madonna.

  • Let's get out of it.

  • That's why I reckon it's time for a fax cation.

  • Yeah, you're gonna kill.

  • You gonna get it.

  • The vaccine.

  • When it's available, you're gonna get it.

  • I'm gonna max out the vax.

  • Yeah, Max, The vax backs the vax.

  • Max.

  • The vaccine.

  • Yeah, some good news here on the vaccine front here in America, you know that there's been a lot of concern about a shortage while medical professionals just discovered that Pfizer's vaccine vials contain one or two MAWR doses than they previously thought.

  • Look at that.

  • On the last night of Hanukkah, I had the violet lasted longer than that.

  • It's a Hanukkah miracle.

  • I'm not sure about this.

  • I don't know that when you're about to receive a brand new lifesaving vaccine, Do you really want to see the doctor being like, Hang on a minute?

  • Yeah, yeah, yeah, I said six, but I think we could do seven.

  • I think, actually, you may have seen this.

  • Tom Cruise is making headlines because he got angry on the set of his upcoming mission.

  • Impossible seven.

  • Apparently, some crew members were not following co vid safety protocols on DCruz when offered them, at one point saying quote, If I see you doing this again, you're gone.

  • Have you heard the audio?

  • Have you heard of regimen?

  • Oh, it's fantastic.

  • He goes off.

  • Have you heard it in?

  • I'd love to do it eight times since the monologue.

  • Yeah, genuinely.

  • It got me fired up.

  • I was like, Yes, he's great.

  • He starts talking about how you know people, people are gonna lose their jobs if this film shuts down on.

  • He really goes off of them.

  • I didn't even know it.

  • Tom Cruise is the tough but fair stepped out we all need right now.

  • You know that we're living in strange times when the most dangerous stunt on the set of Mission Impossible is when a crew member gave someone a high five.

  • But but the whole film crew does seem to be taking the incident.

  • Are.

  • In fact, they've already changed the name of the movie to Mission Impossible.

  • 7 ft away or your John?

  • Yeah, on Here's some news from Ireland Santa and his horse drawn sleigh was stopped on the road by police because Santa sleigh didn't have proper headlights.

  • E mean, Rudolph, you had one job, one job, Rudolph, You know, this is a serious issue.

  • It is.

  • Santa should have proper headlights.

  • This is exactly how Grandma got run over by a reindeer true story.

  • Hey was pulled over by the cops.

  • Santa was like, Listen, before you search the sleigh, you should know a lot of people asked for cocaine this year.

  • Car.

What a shame to say goodbye to 2020 I will say, In the spirit of 2020 we've decided that tonight show is gonna be Today was a huge milestone for the presidential election.

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