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  • ♪ ♪ ♪ >> Stephen: WELCOME BACK,

  • EVERYBODY.

  • MY GUEST TONIGHT WAS THE VERY FIRST GUEST ON "THE LATE SHOW""

  • OVER FIVE YEARS AGO.

  • HE'S AN ACADEMY AWARD-WINNING ACTOR, PRODUCER, AND

  • HUMANITARIAN, WHO DIRECTED AND STARRED IN HIS LATEST FILM "THE

  • MIDNIGHT SKY."

  • PLEASE WELCOME BACK TO "A LATE SHOW," THE ONE, THE ONLY,

  • MR. GEORGE CLOONEY.

  • HELLO, GEORGE, HOW ARE YOU?

  • >> HELLO, STEPHEN.

  • HOW ARE YOU, MAN?

  • IT'S GOOD TO SEE YOU.

  • >> Stephen: NICE TO SEE YOU, TOO.

  • NOW, WE'RE CATCHING YOU IN THE U.K., RIGHT?

  • >> I AM IN THE U.K.

  • I CAME HERE BECAUSE WE WERE GOING TO HAVE A DRIVE-IN

  • PREMIERE FOR THE MOVIE.

  • >> Stephen: YES.

  • >> AND I LANDED, AND THEY CAME OUT AND SAID, "WE'VE JUST GONE

  • TO TIER 3.

  • YOU HAVE TO QUARANTINE FOR TWO WEEKS IN YOUR HOUSE."

  • SO I GOT HERE, I'M GOING TO BE HERE FOR TWO WEEKS IN THE HOUSE,

  • NOT ABLE-- I CAN'T WALK ANYWHERE, CAN'T DO ANYTHING, NO

  • PREMIERE.

  • SO I'M JUST HERE.

  • >> Stephen: I'M SORRY TO HEAR THAT.

  • BUT IS THERE-- IS YOUR LOVELY WIFE, AMAL, WITH YOU?

  • >> YES, AND THAT MAKES IT ALL FINE.

  • >> Stephen: RIGHT, I'M SURE IT'S A LOVELY HOUSE, TOO, SO...

  • >> PERFECTLY LOVELY HOUSE.

  • AND, YOU KNOW, AND WE BROUGHT THE KIDS, WHICH I THOUGHT WAS A

  • GOOD IDEA.

  • >> Stephen: SURE.

  • ALWAYS GOOD.

  • THREE, THREE YEARS OLD?

  • >> RIGHT.

  • >> Stephen: NOT QUITE FREE RANGE YET.

  • >> NO, THEY CAN'T FEED THEMSELVES.

  • AND, APPARENTLY, WHAT I'M FINDING OUT, IS THAT AT SOME

  • POINT, I HAVE TO EDUCATE THEM, WHICH...

  • >> Stephen: HMMM... THAT DOESN'T-- THAT DOESN'T ALWAYS

  • WORK OUT, THOUGH.

  • THEY GET ALL THOSE NEW IDEAS AND THEY SAY, "DAD, YOU'RE WRONG."

  • TRUST ME, MY ARE ALL GROWN NOW, AND I EVIDENTLY DON'T KNOW

  • ANYTHING.

  • >> WELL, I REMEMBER-- I MET YOUR KIDS, AND THEY WERE-- YOU KNOW,

  • THEY ALREADY HAD A LEG UP ON YOU ALREADY.

  • >> Stephen: GEORGE, YOU-- IT'S SO NICE TOY SOO YOU AGAIN.

  • I'VE WANTED TO HAVE YOU BACK FOR A LONG TIME.

  • FOR THE PEOPLE OUT THERE WHO REPORTER COMPLETIST FOR "THE

  • LATE SHOW," YOU WERE MY VERY FIRST GUEST ON SEPTEMBER 8, OR

  • SOMETHING LIKE, IN 2005-- 20 15 OVER FIVE YEARS AGO AND WE HAVE

  • A CLIP OF US SAYING GOOD-BYE.

  • GEORGE, I WANT TO SIN SERIOUSLY THANK YOU FOR BEING MY FIRST

  • GUEST.

  • THAT'S ONE DOWN, AND PLEASE COME BACK MANY, MANY TIMES.

  • >> CONGRATULATIONS.

  • >> Stephen: THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

  • FIRST OF ALL, NEITHER OF US HAS AGED A DAY.

  • >> NO, NOT AT ALL.

  • WE LOOK EXACTLY THE SAME!

  • >> Stephen: SECOND OF ALL, YOU SAID YOU WOULD COME BACK

  • FREQUENTLY.

  • IT IS FIVE YEARS AND THREE MONTHS SINCE YOU WERE HERE.

  • THIS IS FREQUENT TO GEORGE CLOONEY?

  • YOU HAVE BEEN ON "KIMMEL" NINE TIMES SINCE YOU WERE ON MY SHOW.

  • >> HE LIVES IN L.A., MAN.

  • >> Stephen: HEY, THAT EXCUSE DOESN'T MEAN ( BLEEP ) ANYMORE!

  • WE HAVE ZOOM, BABY.

  • I WANT YOU ONCE A WEEK UNTIL YOU MAKE UP THE LOST TIME.

  • >> ZOOM, I'LL DO IT EVERY WEEK.

  • I HAVE NOTHING TO DO.

  • I'M HERE WITH TWO KIDS.

  • >> Stephen: STUCK IN THE HOUSE.

  • >> EXACTLY.

  • NONE STOP.

  • CAN'T TALK TO THE KID.

  • >> Stephen: SO WHAT YOU HAVE BEEN DOING THE LASTIFY YEARS?

  • WHAT'S BEEN GOING ON?

  • >> NOTHING.

  • WATCHING OUR COUNTRY GO TO ( BLEEP ).

  • LET'S SEE, WHAT ELSE.

  • NO, THAT'S PRETTY MUCH IT.

  • >> Stephen: THAT DOES GRAB THE FOCUS BY THE-- BY THE SHORT

  • HAIRS.

  • >> YEAH.

  • BY THE SHORT HAIRS IS EXACTLY-- YOU KNOW, IT'S-- YOU KNOW, WHEN

  • YOU GET TO THE POINT WHERE THE LEADER OF THE FREE WORLD IS

  • CALLING THE PRESS "THE ENEMY OF THE PEOPLE," YOU KNOW, IT STARTS

  • TO CAUSE CONCERN.

  • >> Stephen: SURE.

  • >> AND SO THAT'S BEEN A-- I'M EXCITED ABOUT THE NEXT KNOW--

  • THE NEXT FOUR YEARS.

  • >> Stephen: LET'S TALK ABOUT YOUR CHILDREN'S EXCITEMENT.

  • THEY'RE THREE YEARS OLD.

  • HOW EXCITED ARE THEY FOR CHRISTMAS?

  • BECAUSE THAT'S JUST WHEN THEY'RE BEGINNING TO UNDERSTAND THE

  • CONCEPT OF GIFTS.

  • >> AND SANTA CLAUS, YEAH.

  • >> Stephen: AND HAVE THEY WRITTEN LET LETTERS TO SANTA CLA

  • HAVE THEY COMMUNICATED WHAT THEY WANT TO SANTA?

  • BECAUSE I HAVE-- I'LL TALK TO THEM IF THEY NEED ME TO.

  • >> WOULD DO YOU THAT FOR ME?

  • THANKS.

  • LOOK, I'VE GOT PROBLEMS ALREADY, WHICH IS I'M DESPERATELY TRYING

  • TO NOT MAKE THEM LITTLE BRITS, RIGHT.

  • AND SO IT'S NOT A JUMPER, IT'S A SWEATER.

  • IT'S NOT "THE BOOT" IT'S THE TRUNK.

  • IT'S NOT "THE PAVEMENT."

  • IT'S THE SIDEWALK.

  • >> Stephen: THANK YOU.

  • THAT'S WHAT MEN FOUGHT AND DIED AT LEXINGTON AND CONCORD TO

  • PREVENT.

  • >> DO THEY CELEBRATE THE FOURTH OF JULY IN LONDON?

  • THEY DO NOT.

  • >> Stephen: OR THANKSGIVING.

  • >> WELL, THERE'S A WHOLE OTHER PROBLEM.

  • BUT I-- YOU KNOW, YES, MY CHILDREN-- I DID-- I HAVE DONE

  • EVERYTHING TO-- TO-- TO TRY TO CHANGE THEIR-- THEIR VERSION OF

  • SPEAKING WITH AN ENGLISH ACCENT.

  • SO THEY WERE WRITING OUT THEIR NOTE TO SANTA.

  • AND I SAID, "OKAY, WRITE YOUR NOTE."

  • AND I SAID, "AND THEN WE'RE GOING TO LEAVE COOKIES AND MILK.

  • GOING TO LEAVE IT RIGHT UNDERNEATH THE FIREPLACE."

  • AND MY SON GOES, NO, IT'S MILK AND MINCE PIE."

  • >> Stephen: OH, NO, OH, NO.

  • >> A BRIDGE TOO FAR.

  • >> Stephen: EXPLAIN TO THEM.

  • YOU WANT SANTA TO COME, NOT FATHER CHRISTMAS.

  • >> EXACTLY.

  • >> Stephen: FATHER CHRISTMAS-- SEEMS LIKE A NICE GUY, SEEMS

  • LIKE A NICE GUY.

  • NOT THE SAME GUY.

  • >> AND I'LL TELL YOU THIS, THOUGH, BECAUSE, YOU KNOW, AT

  • THREE YEARS OLD, YOU'RE JUST TRYING TO KEEP YOUR KIDS IN

  • LINE, IN GENERAL.

  • >> Stephen: SURE BECAUSE PEOPLE-- PEOPLE WHO SAY TERRIBLE

  • TWOs HAVE NEVER HAD A THREE-YEAR-OLD.

  • BECAUSE THEY'RE JUST AS TERRIBLE BUT THEY'RE STRONGER NOW.

  • >> THEY CAN LIFT YOU.

  • AND I'VE GOT TWO OF THEM, YOU KNOW,.

  • >> Stephen: SMALL-- SMALL BUT RELENTLESS.

  • >> THEY'RE LIKE LITTLE TERMINATORS.

  • SO I HAVE DEVISED A WAY TO GET THEM TO BEHAVE.

  • >> Stephen: OKAY.

  • >> DURING THIS TIME -- >> Stephen: LET ME WRITE THIS

  • DOWN.

  • >> IT MAY NOT WORK WITH YOUR CHILDREN BECAUSE THEY'RE A

  • LITTLE OLDER AND THEY MIGHT UNDERSTAND THIS.

  • WHEN THEY'RE ASLEEP IN THE MORNING, AND THEN I CAN HEAR

  • THEM STARTING-- THEY SLEEP IN THE SAME BEDROOM.

  • THEY START TO MAKE NOISES IS AND IT GETS REALLY-- THEY'RE

  • FIGHTING.

  • YOU CAN HEAR THE TWO OF THEM GET AT EACH OTHER OR SOMETHING.

  • AND I STAND OUTSIDE THE DOOR AND I GO, I GO, "OH, HEY, HI,

  • SANTA!" AND THEN, YOU KNOW, YOU HEAR

  • SANTA IS THERE.

  • "HO, HO, HO."

  • SAY SAY, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE SANTA?"

  • AND HE SAYS,"I'M MAKING SURE THE KIDS ARE BEING GOOD KIDS"

  • AND YOU CAN HEAR THEM GO, "WE ARE, SANTA!

  • WE ARE!" AND SANTA IS LIKE OKAY!"

  • AND HE LEAVES AND THEY COME OUT AND THEY'RE UNBELIEVABLY WELL

  • BEHAVED.

  • >> Stephen: WOW, THAT IS AMAZING.

  • NOW, I'M GUESSING THAT'S A PRETTY GOOD IMPRESSION OF SANTA

  • YOU JUST DID, BECAUSE, OBVIOUSLY, OBVIOUSLY, YOU WERE

  • THERE PHYSICALLY WITH SANTA RIGHT OUTSIDE THE DOOR.

  • AND YOU-- >> YEAH.

  • AND, BY THE WAY, THAT WORKED WITH YOUR-- IT CAN WORK ON YOUR

  • PARENTS AS WELL, WHICH IS A...

  • >> Stephen: AT A CERTAIN AGE.

  • AT A CERTAIN AGE.

  • WOW, THAT'S LUCKY.

  • >> YOU KNOW, YOU CAN -- >> Stephen: SO, JUST HAVE

  • SANTA-- ALL IT TAKES TO HAVE WELL-BEHAVED CHILDREN IS

  • ACTUALLY HAVE SANTA COME TO YOUR HOUSE, GOOD.