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  • Yeah, What's up?

  • Blood soaked fosters Top story.

  • Our nation's beautiful and beloved infant Donald President Number 45 Magnum condom buyer.

  • Trump invited his colleagues from Pfizer Moderna to come celebrate him inventing science, but they didn't wanna look short next to him.

  • Both Pfizer and Moderna have rejected invitations from President Trump to appear at a White House vaccine summit.

  • The event appeared to be an effort for the administration to claim credit for the rapid development of a covert 19 vaccine.

  • Pfizer Moderna.

  • I hope you choke.

  • If Dr Trump Insigne invites you to the castle, you go and you let him turn you into his monster slave.

  • Now let's bring in actor and activist Cal Pen.

  • What's up, Cal?

  • How you doing?

  • Hungry.

  • So Cal radical Hollywood leftist like you refused to give Trump credit for everything.

  • Let me guess.

  • You won't give him credit for creating the vaccine with his spit and a dash of paprika.

  • William, I think that's fair to say.

  • Yeah, I don't think I don't feel comfortable giving him credit If he didn't think the virus was really heck, I'll say it.

  • It's the last episode of the year.

  • I hope the vaccine kills everybody.

  • I know Trump is responsible for the vaccine, but do we really want people thinking government can improve their lives?

  • The Republicans should not sell out their guiding philosophy merely to keep the nation in existence.

  • That's right.

  • So since Pfizer and Madonna could get for being rude, I have created my own vaccine.

  • It's called Tyler's high intensity Rhino shaft, and it's basically Bench Shapiro's brain blast powder covered in something called torpedo peppers, administered via flashlight, as most drugs are for me.

  • Meanwhile, George's secretary of state continues to insist Joe Biden won the state, even though I don't think he did.

  • We have now counted legally cast ballots three times, and the results remain unchanged.

  • Something's not right here.

  • When have you ever counted the same thing three times in your life and not have a wildly different result each time?

  • As Trump's reelection proves more elusive, the more we find out who are the true followers of his lord beef Penis.

  • Now let's separate the heretics from the true believers with a hot take loyalty play, Lourdes all the Penis of Condi Long John Silver menus.

  • We pledged to fight from the eternal recounts and legal challenges in perpetuity until Earth is nevermore.

  • Upon that blessed day, I will crush myself into a fine paste.

  • So you may smoke me and keep me with you forever.

  • And then, Cal, I don't hear someone pledging their life to trump.

  • I got the sentiment, and I did say in Amen.

  • So I'm with you now.

  • Big press on campus Almighty Trump graciously awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom to wrestler Dan Gable, despite the fact that Trump could beat his ass anytime, anyplace.

  • No masks in sight.

  • Your liberal hoax virus is no match against the buff freedom antibodies spewing from Trump's glands.

  • This is the eighth 10th Presidential Medal of Freedom Trump has awarded to man.

  • He's only awarded one to a woman, Miriam Adelson, wife of the largest Republican Party donor on Earth.

  • I could only assume she's just holding on to it until her husband gets home.

  • Now that's all well and good.

  • But where are the medals of freedom for our troops?

  • They never get medals, except for all the other medals they're always getting.

  • Now I think the president should award a fictional character.

  • My vote is for the namesake protagonist of Oscar Wilde's The Picture of Dorian Gray.

  • I'm sure many can relate toe having a mystic portrait that records their every sin cow.

  • Do you have a mystic portrait that records your every sin?

  • I wish I did.

  • Well, I wish to God I didn't.

  • Now pimp Daddy trumps Big lawyer guy Rudy Giuliani got too close to the truth, so the deep State honeypot it in with a covert positive 58 year old nympho meter maid with Triple D's and 80 birthmarks.

  • He can't help it.

  • He's only human were so sad about it.

  • So we set up a vigil.

  • I'm pouring one out Rudy style, which means the whole team filled this bedpan so we could pour a shot of piss on the floor.

  • Now, in times of need, you should always turn to family unless they ask anything of you, of course.

  • So let's call my Uncle Squirrel and ask him what body parts he's willing to give to Rudy Giuliani to make him better.

  • Hello?

  • Shut the fuck up, squirrel.

  • I'm calling Cost The life of Rudy Giuliani a man I know exclusively through television is more important to me than yours.

  • I need some of your organs.

  • I don't know, Tyler.

  • My organs been on the fritz.

  • And to be honest, I'm not sure how much longer I have got David squarely for Forget it, Cal.

  • Tell Uncle Squirrel that we need his organs.

  • And if he loved me, he do it.

  • It sounds like your organs are in need.

  • Uncle Squirrel.

  • See, even Cal thinks you're a fat, lazy pieces.

  • Now I'm hanging up on your ass and send those organs now.

  • I love you.

  • I love you to shut up my Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, What's up?

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