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  • >> James: GOOD EVENING LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, WELCOME TO THE

  • "LATE LATE SHOW."

  • HOPE YOU HAD A NICE DAY.

  • THANK YOU FOR STAYING UP LATE WITH US TONIGHT.

  • WE'RE GLAD YOU'RE HERE.

  • WE HAVE A FUN SHOW PLANNED FOR YOU.

  • TONIGHT WE'LL BE CHATTING WITH THE LEGENDARY MERYL STREEP.

  • AND LATER, WE HAVE A PERFORMANCE FROM BILLY EICHNER, YOU DON'T

  • WANT TO MISS IT.

  • MERYL STREEP, BILLY EICHNER -- IN A WAY, IAN AND REG, I THINK

  • OF YOU TWO AS THE MERYL STREEP AND BILLY EICHNER OF T "THE LATE

  • LATE SHOW."

  • I'LL LET YOU DECIDE WHICH IS WHICH.

  • WAIT A MINUTE, WHAT'S THIS?

  • >> FROM REGGIE'S NEW UNDERWEAR LINE.

  • >> James: IT'S A CHRISTMAS MANKINI.

  • LOOK AT THAT.

  • >> Reggie: SO GOOD.

  • >> James: A CHRISTMAS MANKINI.

  • I THINK YOU WOULD LOOK GOOD IN THAT, JAMES.

  • >> James: I THINK I WOULD, LOU.

  • >> MERRY CHRISTMAS, LOU.

  • >> James: IF WE KEEP UP WITH THIS JOSEÉ CUERVO TEQUILA BAR,

  • YOU'RE GOING TO SEE IT.

  • ( LAUGHTER ) THANK YOU FOR THAT, LOU, I WILL

  • TREASURE IT ALWAYS.

  • >> Reggie: RIGHT IN THE BOTTOM DRAWER.

  • >> James: I'LL TREASURE IT ALWAYS, LOU.

  • THANK YOU.

  • ( LAUGHTER ) THE MANKINI STUCK AROUND.

  • THANKS FOR JOINING US, LOUIE.

  • I'M GLAD.

  • THANKS FOR JOINING US, LOUIE.

  • >> Reggie: REGULAR FERRIS BUELLER.

  • >> James: I LOVED THAT YOU CROUCHED DOWN LIKE NO ONE WOULD

  • SEE THAT YOU MISSED THE OPENING OF THE SHOW.

  • >> NO, I DIDN'T.

  • >> James: YOU WHAT?

  • NO, I DIDN'T.

  • >> James: YOU DIDN'T?

  • YOU DIDN'T MISS IT?

  • >> NO.

  • >> James: YOU'RE TRYING TO SAY YOU WEREN'T LATE FOR THE START

  • OF THE SHOW.

  • >> NOPE!

  • >> James: CAN I BE HONEST.

  • I FEEL LIKE, BECAUSE YOU WERE LATE FOR THE SHOW, YOU SHOULD

  • COME BACK BY THE END OF THIS -- ( LAUGHTER )

  • ( APPLAUSE ) ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

  • >> James: FOR BEING LATE FOR THE SHOW, BY THE TIME WE GO TO

  • BREAK, I WOULD LIKE YOU TO BE WEARING THIS TO GO TO BREAK.

  • OKAY?

  • IS THAT ALL RIGHT?

  • OKAY?

  • WELL, YOU SHOULD GO AND GET CHANGED.

  • YOU CAN'T PUT IT OVER YOUR CLOTHES.

  • LOUIE, YOU CAN LEAVE AND GO BACK AND, YOU KNOW, YOU CAN KEEP YOUR

  • UNDERPANTS ON BECAUSE OTHERWISE -- THANK YOU, LOUIE.

  • WHILE YOU DO THAT, WE'LL TAKE A LOOK AT THE HEADLINES.

  • SOME VERY EXCITING NEWS FROM MY HOMELAND.

  • AND LOUIE'S HOMELAND, ACTUALLY, WE SHOULD SAY, BECAUSE, TODAY --

  • LISTEN TO THIS, GANG -- TODAY, THE U.K. STARTED GIVING

  • OUT THE COVID-19 VACCINE.

  • YEAH.

  • A 90-YEAR-OLD WOMAN IN ENGLAND BECAME THE FIRST PERSON IN THE

  • WORLD TO GET THE SHOT.

  • JUST IN TIME, SHE HAS PLANS TO GO SEE THE CHAINSMOKERS LIVE

  • NEXT WEEK.

  • HERE SHE IS RIGHT AFTER SHE GOT HER VACCINE.

  • >> WHAT DO YOU SAY TO THOSE WHO MIGHT BE HAVING SECOND THOUGHTS

  • ABOUT HAVING THIS?

  • >> WELL, I SAY GO FOR IT.

  • GO FOR IT BECAUSE IT'S -- IT'S FREE, AND IT'S THE BEST THING

  • THAT'S EVER HAPPENED AT THE MOMENT, SO DO, PLEASE, GO FOR

  • IT.

  • THAT'S ALL I SAY, YOU KNOW?

  • IF I CAN DO IT, WELL, SO CAN YOU.

  • >> JAMES: "IF I CAN DO IT, SO CAN YOU."

  • WHICH IS THE POLITE WAY OF SAYING "DON'T BE A DICK, GET THE

  • SHOT."

  • ( LAUGHTER ) ALSO, I LOVE THAT SHE'S, LIKE,

  • "GO FOR IT, IT'S FREE."

  • IT'S FREE!

  • SHE SOUNDS LIKE MY INNER VOICE AT A RESTAURANT EVERY TIME I ASK

  • FOR ANOTHER ROUND OF BREAD.

  • IT'S FREE!

  • ( LAUGHTER ) THE SECOND PERSON TO GET THE

  • VACCINE TODAY WAS AN 81-YEAR-OLD ENGLISH MAN NAMED -- AND I

  • PROMISE WE'RE NOT MAKING THIS UP, WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE.

  • S THIS IS THE BRITISH VERSION OF

  • MICHAEL B. JORDAN.

  • WHY WOULD HIS PARENTS NAME HIM THAT?

  • NO ONE CAN LIVE UP TO WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE'S NAME.

  • PEOPLE AREN'T GOING TO BE LIKE, "SO, I WAS READING SOME OF

  • SHAKESPEARE'S GREATEST WORKS AND--"

  • "HANG ON, WHICH SHAKESPEARE ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

  • THE PLAYWRIGHT OR THE LORRY DRIVER?"

  • ( LAUGHTER ) MEANWHILE, HERE IN THE UNITED

  • STATES, THERE ARE NOW CONCERNS ABOUT WHETHER OR NOT THERE ARE

  • ENOUGH VACCINATIONS TO GO AROUND.

  • AND ACCORDING TO A NEW REPORT, WHEN PFIZER OFFERED TO SELL THE

  • UNITED STATES MORE DOSES THIS SUMMER, THE TRUMP ADMINISTRATION

  • AND THAT, RIGHT THERE, IS THE ART OF THE DEAL.

  • ( LAUGHTER ) SPEAKING OF THAT, ANOTHER MEMBER

  • OF THE TRUMP CAMPAIGN TESTED POSITIVE FOR THE COVID.

  • TODAY IT'S TRUMP CAMPAIGN LAWYER, JENNA ELLIS.

  • I BARELY KNOW WHO JENNA ELLIS IS, BUT AS SOON AS I SAW THE

  • WORDS, "TRUMP CAMPAIGN LAWYER," I THOUGHT, "OH, SHE PROBABLY GOT

  • COVID."

  • IF YOU'RE NOT FAMILIAR WITH JENNA ELLIS, HERE SHE IS HERE.

  • SHE'S THE WOMAN WHO STANDS BEHIND RUDY GIULIANI AND NODS

  • LIKE WHAT HE'S SAYING ISN'T INCOHERENT NONSENSE.

  • IS THERE A WORSE JOB IN AMERICA -- IT MAKES COME FROM A SECRET

  • SANTA.

  • IT COULD BE ANYONE.

  • THE SUPREME COURT IS REFUSING TO HEAR TRUMP'S ACCUSATIONS ABOUT

  • THROWING OUT BALLOTS IN PENNSYLVANIA.

  • WHICH IS A SHAME, BECAUSE REPUBLICAN SENATOR TED CRUZ HAD

  • ALREADY VOLUNTEERED HIS LEGAL SERVICES.

  • IN A TWEET LAST NIGHT, CRUZ SAID THAT HE WAS, "READY TO PRESENT

  • THE ORAL ARGUMENT."

  • LOOK, I'M WITH YOU, I NEVER WANT TO HEAR THE WORDS "TED CRUZ" AND

  • "ORAL" IN THE SAME SENTENCE EITHER.

  • TED CRUZ THINKS HE'S GREAT AT ORAL ARGUMENTS.

  • THEN AGAIN, TED CRUZ ALSO THINKS HE'S GREAT AT DOING IMPRESSIONS

  • OF CHARACTERS FROM "THE SIMPSONS."

  • >> BUT DAD, I'M A VEGETARIAN, I DON'T EAT ANIMALS.

  • >> BUT, LISA, ANIMALS ARE SO DELICIOUS!

  • >> Reggie: OH, WOW.

  • AMAZING.

  • INCREDIBLE.

  • >> James: IS THERE ANYONE WORSE THAN SOMEONE WHO THINKS

  • THEY CAN DO AN IMPRESSION?

  • THEY SHOULD BE THE LAST PEOPLE TO GET A VACCINE.

  • ( LAUGHTER ) YOU THINK WHEN YOU'RE LINING UP

  • ,DO YOU DO ANY IMPRESSIONS?

  • THIS IS MY TRUMP.

  • NOPE.

  • GET TO THE BACK OF THE LINE.

  • WHO IS YOUR IMPRESSION.

  • >> PRINCE PHILIP FROM THE CROWN.

  • THIS IS HIM TALKING TO THE QUEEN.

  • SHALL WE WATCH THAT OCTOPUS DOCUMENTARY?

  • WHAT DO YOU THINK?

  • SHALL WE WATCH THE OCTOPUS DOCUMENTARY ON NETFLIX

  • EVERYONE'S BEEN READING ABOUT?

  • AND HE'S LIKE, YEAH!

  • >> James: YOU COULD DO THE NEXT SEASON.

  • >> I RECENTLY HEARD THE BRITISH MENU, DO YOU SUPPOSE WE COULD

  • SEND SOMEONE TO GET IT FOR US?

  • ( LAUGHTER ) >> James: VERY GOOD.

  • REG, WHO'S YOURS.

  • >> Reggie: I ALWAYS GO WITH MATT BERRY!

  • ( LAUGHTER ) HE'S A WONDERFUL MAN, VERY SEXY.

  • >> James: THAT'S A GOOD MATT BERRY.

  • >> Reggie: SEXUAL.

  • >> James: THAT'S A GOOD MATT BERRY.

  • YOU KNOW WHO MINE IS?

  • SHAGGY.

  • ( IMITATING ) BUT SHE CAUGHT ME ON THE

  • COUNTER.

  • EVEN HEARD ME ON CAMERA. ] IMITATING ).

  • AND DID YOU GUYS SEE THIS?

  • THE 2024 OLYMPIC GAMES, WHICH ARE SCHEDULED TO TAKE PLACE IN

  • PARIS, FRANCE, WILL INCLUDE A NEW SPORT: BREAKDANCING.

  • >> Reggie: YES.

  • >> James: I KNOW, I LOVE THIS!

  • WELL, IT'S OFFICIAL, GUYS.

  • I JUST WENT FROM "THEATER KID" TO "JOCK."

  • ( LAUGHTER ) I'M REALLY HOPING IT'S A

  • SUCCESS.

  • IF THIS GOES WELL, BY 2028 WE COULD SEE OLYMPIC FLOSSING.

  • ( LAUGHTER ) THE OLYMPIC COMMITTEE IS HOPING

  • TO ATTRACT A YOUNGER AUDIENCE MOVING FORWARD.

  • AND APPARENTLY THAT YOUNGER AUDIENCE INCLUDES TEENS FROM THE

  • BRONX DURING THE '80S.

  • ( LAUGHTER ) HOW DIE DO THIS?

  • HOW DO YOU GET INTO THIS?

  • WHAT DO WE DO, PUT TOGETHER A CREW?

  • >> Reggie: YEAH, YOU HAVE TO HAVE A CREW FOR SURE.

  • >> James: WE COULD PUT TOGETHER A CREW, COULDN'T WE?

  • >> I THINK THE THREE OF US AND GALA AND THAT WAS A GOLD MEDAL.

  • >> Reggie: INGALA.

  • >> James: INGALA TURNS UP WITHGARD BOARD.

  • I WOULDN'T BREAK DANCE BUT I WOULD LIKE TO BE THE DUDE WHO

  • GOES IN AND THEN STEPS OUT.

  • I WOULD BE, LIKE, INGALLA'S THERE AND DOING WIND MILLS, AND

  • I WOULD BE LIKE -- ( RHYTHMIC DRUM BEATS )

  • ( LAUGHTER ) >> James: IT'S ALL RIGHT!

  • ( APPLAUSE ) I MEAN, LOOK, I'M NOT SAYING

  • I DON'T THINK WE'LL WIN.

  • I DON'T THINK WE'LL GET GOLD, BUT I THINK WE'LL COMPETE, DO

  • YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?

  • >> IT'S ANTICIPATION.

  • WHAT IS THAT GUY GOING TO DO?

  • AND YOU NEVER SHOW HIM.

  • SO WE HAVE TO GIVE HIM A GOLD TO COME BACK IN FOUR MORE YEARS.

  • >> James: I JUST WANT TO PLACE.

  • REG, I BET YOU ACTUALLY CAN BREAK DANCE, CAN'T YOU?

  • >> Reggie: I CAN DO ROBOTICS.

  • >> James: YOU'VE GOT GREAT ROBOTICS.

  • >> Reggie: YEAH.

  • >> James: AND YOUR RIPS.

  • >> Reggie: YEAH, I'VE GOT HIPS.

  • >> James: WHEN HE DANCES, REGGIE BECOMES LIKE A MAN

  • POSSESSED.

  • IT'S ALL IN THE HIPS AND THE WASTE AND YOUR HOLE WHOLE BODY

  • FLOWS IN THE WAY THAT I'M GOING TO THE BAR.

  • YEAH, REG.

  • WHAT IF WE GOT?

  • >> Reggie: IT'S BEEN A LONG TIME.

  • >> James: YES!

  • ♪ ♪

  • COME ON NOW!

  • ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) GUYS!

  • I HONESTLY BELIEVE WE'RE FORMING A CREW HERE!

  • INGALA, CAN YOU ACTUALLY BREAK DANCE?

  • >> YEAH, I MEAN, IT'S BEEN A LONG TIME, BUT, YEAH.

  • ♪ ♪

  • >> James: YES!

  • IN TRAINING.

  • >> James: I HONESTLY BELIEVE WE CAN DO THIS.

  • DO YOU HAVE MOVES, GUILLERMO?

  • ARE YOU IN THE CREW?

  • >> I'M GOING TO JOIN, BUT I PREFER TO STAY IN THE DEEJAY

  • KAG.

  • >> James: ME AND IAN ARE, LIKE, HYPE.

  • >> YEAH, PURE HYPE.

  • I'LL BE OUR LAWYER.

  • I'LL HANG OUT IN THE BACK, ANY CONTRACTS COME UP, I'LL GIVE HIM

  • A LOOK-OVER.

  • >> James: ME AND YOU, WE'VE GOT ENOUGH TO ADD TO THE CREW.

  • >> I WEAR A LOT OF NECKLACES.

  • >> James: HANG ON, YOU KNOW WHO'S MISSING FROM THIS CREW AND

  • I JUST HEARD HE'S READY.

  • BRING HIM OUT, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, LOUIE!

  • ♪ ♪

  • NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.

  • NO, NO, NO.

  • UNACCEPTABLE.

  • UNACCEPTABLE.

  • UNACCEPTABLE.

  • UNACCEPTABLE.

  • ( BOOING ) >> James: WHAT'S THE PROBLEM

  • HERE?

  • WHAT'S THE PROBLEM?

  • WHAT'S THE PROBLEM?

  • >> DON'T WANT TO DO IT.

  • >> James: WHY?

  • UST DON'T FEEL LIKE IT.

  • >> James: WHY?

  • UM, DON'T WANT TO DO IT.

  • >> James: WELL, I DIDN'T FEEL LIKE STARTING THE SHOW AT 3:00,

  • BUT I HAD TO BECAUSE THAT'S WHEN THE SHOW STARTS.

  • >> IT WILL HAVE TO DO.

  • YOU WILL HAVE TO IMAGINE ME.

  • ( LAUGHTER ) >> James: IT'S JUST A SHAME.

  • IT'S JUST A SHAME.

  • WE WERE IN A REALLY GREAT VIBE THERE, PEOPLE -- ROB'S BREAK

  • DANCED, REGGIE'S DONE THE ROBOT, I'VE GOTTEN UP AND DOWN, WE'RE

  • ALL TRYING TO MAKE A SHOW.

  • I'M NOT UPSET FOR ME, IT'S THE VIEWERS AT HOME.