B1 Intermediate US 1498 Folder Collection
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[sultry industrial music]
♪ ♪
BROTHERS AND SISTERS.
- [gasps]
- AH, TONIGHT,
THE NEWEST MEMBER OF OUR FAMILY
WILL FEAST FOR THE FIRST TIME.
all: [hissing]
- OPHELIA...
BRING THE NEW BLOOD.
AHH.
BROTHER TYRELL.
WELCOME TO THE FIRST NIGHT OF YOUR NEW AND--
WHAT ARE WE WEARING HERE?
- W--
UH, I-I'M JUST WEARING WHAT I GOT BIT IN.
- MM-HMM.
OKAY. DO YOU HAVE ANYTHING BLACK?
OR, LIKE, PANTS WITH LACES UP THE SIDE OF THE LEG...
- [hisses] - WOULD BE GOOD,
JUST SO YOU CAN STILL SEE THE SKIN.
all: [gasping and hissing]
- UH, NO.
THAT'S NOT MY STYLE,
SO I AIN'T GOT NONE OF THAT IN MY CLOSET
OR NOTHIN' LIKE THAT.
- OKAY.
ANYWAY, WE WILL TONIGHT
ALL FEAST!
all: [hissing] - [chortles]
- COME ON, MAN.
- EXCUSE ME?
- I'M JUST SAYING,
Y'ALL OVER HERE LICKING AND--
AND HISSING AND WHATNOT.
IF WE GONNA EAT, THEN LET'S EAT. DAMN!
- Y-YES.
OF COURSE, WE WILL ALL FEED.
all: [hissing]
- OKAY, YEAH, THAT'S ENOUGH.
- SPREAD THE MEAT.
crunch!
- COOL. OKAY.
DID ANY OF THAT ACTUALLY GET IN YOUR MOUTH?
'CAUSE, I MEAN, NOW-- SHOOT.
NO WONDER Y'ALL'S HUNGRY ALL THE TIME.
all: [hissing]
- SEE--UH-UH, UH-UH. NO, NO, NO, NO.
SEE, LOOK, WHY Y'ALL GOTTA HISS
WHEN YOU FLASHIN' YOUR FANGS?
YOU KNOW YOU CAN MAKE YOUR TEETH COME OUT
WITHOUT DOING ALL THAT NONSENSE.
SEE?
[silence]
AND CAN YOU TWO GET A ROOM?
SERIOUSLY, Y'ALL LIVE IN A DAMN MANSION.
THERE GOTTA BE SOME OTHER PLACE YOU COULD DO THAT [bleep].
I MEAN, ARE YOU TWO EVEN LESBIANS?
LOOK, I JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY EVERYTHING
GOTTA BE ALL SEXUAL AND LICKY.
GIRL, SERIOUSLY, MAN.
YOU GOTTA GET YOUR HANDS UP OFF ME
'FORE I [bleep] YOU UP.
[bleep] IS NASTY. CREEPY AS [bleep].
BEEN TOUCHING MY NIPPLE FOR 15 MINUTES.
ALL THIS [bleep] Y'ALL IS DOING UP IN HERE?
THIS IS JUST, LIKE, STRAIGHT-UP GRATUITOUS.
I GOT BIT ON PURPOSE SO I COULD LIVE FOREVER
AND SEE FUTURE CARS.
- YEAH, CYRUS, THESE PANTS ARE UNCOMFORTABLE.
- AND I ACTUALLY HAVE A BOYFRIEND.
- AND THIS SONG HAS BEEN PLAYING FOR, LIKE, TWO YEARS,
AND IT SUCKS.
- WOW. - [sighs]
THIS JUST SEEMS...
DESPERATE.
- OKAY, DESPERATE? REALLY, TRISTAN?
- IT'S CHRISTIAN.
- REALLY? - HIS NAME AIN'T EVEN TRISTAN.
- SO DO YOU ALL FEEL THIS WAY?
- YEAH. - YEAH.
- KINDA. - YEAH.
- YEAH.
- [snorts]
WOW.
IT'S LIKE YOU CAN'T EVEN GET GOOD FRIENDS--
NO, YOU'RE NOT EVEN--
OKAY, AND YOU'RE LEAVING NOW. THAT'S--
- I MEAN, YOU KNOW WHAT, DOG, SERIOUSLY,
LIKE, YOU COULD FIX THIS PLACE UP.
IT'D BE DOPE, THOUGH. FOR REAL.
ARE CARS GONNA BE ABLE TO FLY,
OR IS EVERYTHING GOING TO BE ON A MAGNETIC TRACK?
I MEAN, THAT'S WHAT I WANT TO KNOW.
IT'S NO BIG DEAL.
- THIS O-NEGATIVE TASTES LIKE PENNIES.
- OH, I'M SORRY ABOUT-- HEY, HEY.
NO, NO, NO, NIPPLE PLAY IS FOR PRIVATE TIME.
- WHAT IF ALL OF THIS LIFE WE THINK WE'RE LIVING
IS JUST A DREAM?
AND WHEN WE WAKE UP... [voice fades out]
- THIS IS SUCH BULL[bleep], YOU GUYS.
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Key & Peele: Sexy Vampires

1498 Folder Collection
Guan Cyun Chao published on July 9, 2014
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