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  • >> James: GOOD EVENING, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, WELCOME TO THE

  • "LATE, LATE SHOW."

  • THANK YOU FOR STAYING UP AND HANGING OUT WITH US.

  • WE'RE SO HAPPY THAT YOU ARE HERE, WE HAVE A GOOD SHOW

  • PLANNED FOR YOU TONIGHT.

  • WE'LL BE JOINED BY THE DASHING KYLE CHANDLER.

  • LATER A PERFORMANCE FROM MEGAN TRAINOR -- MEGHAN TRAINOR SO

  • STICK AROUND, KIELD CHANDLER, FIRST TIME ON THE SHOW.

  • I'M EXCITED.

  • >> THAT GUY IS SMOOTH AS BUTTERMILK.

  • >> James: YOU'RE LOOKING SMOOTH AS BUTTERMILK, WHERE DID

  • THE STASH GO.

  • >> I HAD TO LEAVE IT IN THE PAST, I GOT AHEAD FOR 2020,

  • CLEAN SLATE, CLEAN FACE.

  • >> James: WILL YOU BE REALLY SHOCKED WHEN YOU HEAD INTO 2021.

  • >> I THE WHOLE YEAR.

  • >> James: HEY FRK THERE IS EVER A YEAR TO MISS, IT WAS THIS

  • ONE, IT REALLY WAS.

  • WHERE ARE WE AT HANUKKAH WISE?

  • WHAT NIGHT ARE WE ON NOW.

  • >> WE GOT FIVE ON IT.

  • >> James: WE GOT FIVE ON IT.

  • >> THAT'S RIGHT, YEAH.

  • >> James: DO WE DO ANYTHING ON THE FIFTH NIGHT?

  • >> IN IS SORT OF WHEN INTEREST TRAILS OFF FOR MOST JEWS.

  • LIKE-- PEOPLE PROBABLY FORGET TO LIGHT THEIR MENORAH TONIGHT, PUT

  • THE DREIDLE AWAY, SHAME EAT COLD COINS OVER THE SINK, THAT IS

  • NIGHT FIVE.

  • >> James: RIGHT, NOW THERE IS SOMETHING ON THE DESK HERE TRK

  • SAYS TOO JAMES,-- IT SAYS LOOK AT THAT.

  • LOOK WHO IS ON IT.

  • IS THIS REAL, LOU, OR DID YOU MAKE THIS, DID THEY REALLY SENT

  • THIS.

  • >> THEY SENT IT.

  • >> James: NO, THEY DIDN'T.

  • >> YES, THEY DID.

  • >> James: FOR REAL?

  • NO, LOOK AT THAT, HAPPY HOLIDAYS, HAVE A VERY DA VINCI

  • CHRISTMAS LOVE THE VORAK TWINS LACK AT THAT.

  • JUST AS WE STARTED TO FORE BET ABOUT THEM.

  • -- FORGET ABOUT THEM.

  • >> WELL PLAYED.

  • YZ THANK YOU, THANK YOU BROTHERS, ABSOLUTELY GORGEOUS.

  • BLESS YOU.

  • >> DA VINCI?

  • >> James: ALL RIGHT, LET'S START WITH SOME HEADLINES.

  • LET'S JUMP IN, BIG NEWS, GUYS.

  • IT IS HAPPENING, THE FIRST CORONAVIRUS VACCINE HAVE BEEN

  • ADMINISTERED HERE IN THE UNITED STATES.

  • YEAH, IT'S HAPPENING.

  • GIVING OUT VACCINE.

  • MAKING THE VACCINE, THE SECOND HOTTEST ITEM TO GET THIS

  • CHRISTMAS BEHIND THE PLAY STATION 5.

  • THE VERY FIRST DOSE WENT TO A CRITICAL CARE NURSE IN NEW YORK,

  • NEEDLESS TO SAY HER TINDER IS BLOWING UP.

  • HERE IS HER GETTING A SHOT, LOOK THE AT, THAT I KNOW SHE IS

  • GETTING THE VACCINE BUT THE GUY IN THAT SUIT IS STANDING WAY

  • CLOSER THAN SIX FEET.

  • THAT'S-- JUST BACK OFF FOR LIKE A MONTH, BRO.

  • BUT LOOK AT THAT PICTURE.

  • YOU KNOW THAT 2020 HAS OPINION WEIRD BECAUSE I'M LOOKING AT A

  • PERSON IN A FACE MASK GETTING INJECTED AND I'M THINKING I

  • CANNOT WAIT FOR THAT TO BE ME.

  • ANG DONALD TRUMP WAS OBVIOUSLY EXCITED ABOUT THE VACCINE TOO

  • BECAUSE HE TWEETED FIRST VACCINE ADMINISTERED.

  • CONGRATULATIONS, U SRK ARC.

  • CONGRATULATIONSK WORLD.

  • >> IT IS THE FIRST VACCINE AFTER THE UNITED KINGDOM DID IT A WEEK

  • AGO BUT SURE, CONGRATULATIONS, WORLD.

  • ALTHOUGH IN TRUMP'S DEFENSE THIS WAS MAJOR WORLDWIDE NEWS, THERE

  • IS NO WAY HE WOULD HAVE KNOWN THAT THAT EVER HAPPENED.

  • ALTHOUGH YOU CAN TELL TRUMP WAS HAPPY.

  • YOU COULD.

  • HE THREW OPEN THE WINDOWS TO THE OVAL OFFICE AND HE TOLD AN

  • AWESOME BOY TO GO AND BUY THE BIGGEST CHRISTMAS GOOSE HE COULD

  • FIND.

  • MEANWHILE TODAY WAS A HUGE MILESTONE FOR THE PRESIDENTIAL

  • ELECTION.

  • THE LECH TRIAL COLLEGE GATHERED IN ALL 50 STATES TODAY AND

  • OFFICIALLY CONFIRMED JOE BIDEN'S VICTORY.

  • CONGRATULATIONS, U.S.A.

  • CONGRATULATIONS, WORLD.

  • (APPLAUSE) THIS IS THE RELIEF.

  • I WOULD HATE TO START ANOTHER WEEK OF SHOWS WITHOUT TALKING

  • ABOUT THE SAME ELECTION RESULTS WE'VE ALL KNOWN FOR THE LAST

  • MONTH AND A HALF.

  • (LAUGHTER) I MEAN IT'S ALL OVER

  • IT'S ALL OVER NOW.

  • AT THIS POINT, TRUMP'S ONLY REMAINING OPTION IS JUST KIND OF

  • GOING LIMP AND LAYING IN THE OVAL OFFICE FLOOR

  • THE OVAL OFFICE FLOOR LIKE MY THREE YEAR OLD DOES WHEN THEY

  • REFUSE TO LEAVE A TOY STORE.

  • COME ON, WE'RE GOING.

  • I'M NOT GOING ANYWHERE.

  • I WILL NOT LEAVE.

  • MOVING ON, OVER THE WEEKEND, PRESIDENT TRUMP GAVE HIS FIRST

  • INTERVIEW SINCE THE ELECTION.

  • AND HE IS STILL THREATENING THAT HE WON, YOU KNOW, BECAUSE OF THE

  • BOOKIES.

  • >> THE ELECTION WAS OVER AT 10:00 IN THE EVENING, HI WOB, IT

  • WAS 97-9%, ALL OF THE BOOKIES ALL OVER THE WORLD WERE SAYING

  • THE ELECTION IS OVER, THEY WOULDN'T EVEN TAKE BETS ON IT.

  • ALL OF A SUDDEN AROUND 11:00, BALANCE ATS START GETTING

  • DROPPED.

  • >> James: THEY WOULDN'T EVEN TAKE BETS ON IT.

  • YOU KNOW WHAT WE GATHER FROM THIS?

  • I THINK YOU KNOW WHAT THIS HUNDRED PERCENT MEANNESS TRUMP

  • TRIED TO BET ON THE ELECTION.

  • AND IN TRUMP'S DEFENSE, WHY IS THIS SO HARD FOR DEMOCRATS TO

  • UNDERSTAND.

  • YOU KNOW, 11 P.M., WHEN A SWEATY GUY NAMED TINY RUNNING A NUMBERS

  • GAME IN THE PARKING LOT OF AN ARBIES SAYS THE ELECTION IS

  • OVER, IT'S OVER, GUYS.

  • BUT TRUMP IS TALKING THIS ISSUE VERY SERIOUSLY.

  • IS HE ALREADY PLANNING TO APPEAL THIS ALL THE WAY UP TO THE

  • SPORTS CLUB AT CAESAR PALACE.

  • ARE YOU A GAMBLER.

  • DO YOU GAMBLE EVER?

  • >> I AM A RAMBLING GAMBLING MAN EVERY NOW AND THEN.

  • >> James: YEAH?

  • >> YEAH.

  • >> James: WHAT SORT OF STUFF DO YOU BET ON.

  • >> WE GO TO VEGAS, I WILL BET SPORTS.

  • ONE TIME I BET MY BROTHER A KID ROCK CD THAT I WOULD EAT A STICK

  • OF BUTTER AND I WON.

  • >> James: WOW.

  • >> YEAH.

  • >> James: CONGRATULATIONS.

  • >> THAT'S RIGHT, YEAH.

  • >> James: ANY OF THE BANDS BETTING MEN.

  • DO YOU EVER LAY ANY MONEY DOWNK REG, I CAN'T SEE YOU BETTING.

  • >> Reggie: I DON'T LIKE IT, I DON'T TRUST ME.

  • >> James: YEAH, ME NEITHER, I DON'T GET IT ALTHOUGH I WOULD

  • LIKE TO GET INTO GAMBLING ATTIRE.

  • >> OH YEAH.

  • >> James: I WOULD LIKE TO HAVE A HAT WITH A LITTLE, YOU KNOW, A

  • CARD OR A BOX OF CIGARETTES IN IT AND-- ALWAYS SLAPPING A

  • NEWSPAPER, WHAT IS ON THE 4:00, JOE, WHOA, WE GOT A BIG ONE.

  • I LIKE THAT ASPECT OF IT.

  • IT IS THE PART WITH MONEY.

  • >> YOU LIKE THE LIFESTYLE.

  • >> James: I LIKE THE LIFESTYLE, I LOVE ALL OF IT, TO

  • JUST FULLY GET INTO IT, I GOT A SIGNIFICANT AR.

  • ONLY TALK LIKE THAT, COMING IN 5 TO 1, PUT YOUR MONEY ON A

  • BIG-- NOW, HEY DOLL FACE, DOLL FACE, ONE MORE PITCHER OF HARVEY

  • WALL BANGERS OVER HERE.

  • >> James: THAT'S RIGHT.

  • >> THEY'RE COMING IN JOE, THEY'RE COMING IN NOW.

  • >> James: I LIKE THE IDEA OF THAT BEING MY LIFE.

  • >> Reggie: BUT NOT ACTUALLY PUTTING ANY MONEY DOWN.

  • >> James: NEVER ACTUALLY RISKING MONEY.

  • >> Reggie: I'M WITH YOU.

  • >> James: WHAT I AM SAYING IS I WOULD LIKE TO BE ONE OF THE

  • CHARACTERS IN GUYS & DOLLS.

  • >> OKAY.

  • >> YOU KNOW WHAT I AM TALKING ABOUT, THAT'S RIGHT, REGGIE

  • WATTS, THAT IS A GREAT NAME FOR THAT SORT OF ACTION.

  • WHAT YOU SAY, REG, WHAT YOU SAY WE PUT SOME MOOLAH DOWN ON THE

  • OLD 240.

  • >> Reggie: I SAY THAT'S A GREAT IDEA.

  • YOU KNOW WHAT, I GOT ANOTHER IDEA.

  • >> WHAT INJURE OTHER IDEA, REGGIE.

  • >> Reggie: WE ARE COULD PUT A COUP IL NUMBERS DOWN ON THAT GUY

  • THAT DOES THE THING DOWNTOWN.

  • >> James: YEAH, CUTIE PIE, RUN THAT THING DOWNTOWN, WE WANT A

  • COUPLE OF BUCKS DOWN.

  • >> YOU GUYS WANT A COUPLE OF-- .

  • >> James: HEY, HERE'S SOME DICE, CUTIE PIE, YOU HAVE ALWAYS

  • BEEN GREAT LUCK FOR ME.

  • HOW MUCH DID WE WIN.

  • NOTHING, WE ARE NOT ACTUALLY GAMBLING.

  • WE JUST LIKE THE LIFESTYLE.

  • >> WHAT IS THAT NOISE, IT'S THE FUDZ.

  • WE GOT TO SHUT THE WHOLE THING DOWN.

  • >> WOO WOO WOO.

  • DONK, GIVE ME A BREAK, OFFICER, YOU KNOW WHAT WE'RE LIKE.

  • HOW ABOUT A COUPLE OF HARD BUCKS AND YOU SAY NOTHING EVER

  • HAPPENED, HUH?

  • >> YOU KNOW THE PENALTY FOR BRIBING AN OFFICER OF THE LAW

  • IS, SON.

  • >> I DON'T KNOW, WHAT DO YOU SAY?

  • >> TECHNICALLY NOTHING BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT BETTING ANY MONEY.

  • >> EXACTLY.

  • YOU KNOW WHY?

  • WE JUST LIKE THE LIFESTYLE.

  • (LAUGHTER).

  • >> James: JUST HAVING FUN.

  • >> WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK ON THE COLGATE COMEDY HOUR.

  • >> Reggie: COLGATE.

  • >> James: AND ANOTHER POINT-- AT ANOTHER POINT DURING

  • THE INTERVIEW, TRUMP TRIED TO MAKE

  • THE CASE THAT HE WON THE ELECTION BY GETTING DEEP INTO

  • THE NUMBERS, AND I'M NOT SURE IT HELPED.

  • >> I JUST GOT 75 MILLION VOTES.

  • THE BIGGEST NUMBER OF VOTES IN THE HISTORY OF OUR COUNTRY EVER

  • GOTTEN BY A SITTING PRESIDENT.

  • I WENT FROM 63 MILLION TO 75 MILLION, A 12 MILLION VOTE

  • DIFFERENCE, THAT'S THE BIGGEST MARGIN IN HISTORY.

  • THEY SAY IF I GOT 67, THE SMARTEST PEOPLE-- IF I GOT 67

  • MILLION VOTES I COULDN'T LOOSE, I GOT 75 MILLION AND THEY SAY I

  • LOST.

  • I DIDN'T LOSE.

  • >> James: SO AS FAR AS >> James: SO, AS FAR AS GOING TO

  • THE INAUGURATION, I'LL JUST PUT YOU DOWN FOR A “NO.”

  • MAYBE?

  • IT'S A NO.

  • I LOVE HOW TRUMP ONLY TALKS ABOUT HOW MANY VOTES HE GOT.

  • HE CAN ONLY SEE THE VOTES, HE NEVER ONCE MENTIONED THAT

  • SOMEBODY ELSE GOT MORE VOTES THAN HIM.

  • THAT'S LIKE ME RUNG THE HUNDRED METERS AND GOING I DON'T

  • UNDERSTAND IT, THAT IS THE FASTEST I HAVE EVER RUN IT.

  • I HAVE NEVER, I'VE NEVER RUN A HUNDRED METERS THAT FAST AND YET

  • SHOW I LOST.

  • HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.

  • (LAUGHTER) TRUMP BASED HIS CLAIM ON WHAT HE

  • WAS TOLD BY QUOTE THE SMARTEST PEOPLE IN THE BUSINESS.

  • JUST TO BE CLEAR, TRUMP THINKS THAT THIS IS ONE OF THE SMARTEST

  • PEOPLE IN THE BUSINESS.

  • AND FINALLY HERE IS THE STORY FROM SWEDEN.

  • A MCDONALD'S THERE HAS OPENED THE WORLD'S FIRST GOLDEN M

  • BARBERSHOP WHICH SPECIALIZES IN GIVING PEOPLE THE GOLDEN M, A

  • '90S STYLE HAIRCUT YOU MIGHT REMEMBER.

  • HERE IT IS HERE.

  • LOOK AT THAT.

  • THANK GOD SWEDISH PEOPLE ARE ALREADY BEAUTIFUL.

  • ( LAUGHTER ) DO YOU THINK YOU COULD PULL THAT

  • HAIRSTYLE OFF?

  • >> Reggie: YEAH.

  • >> James: REALLY?

  • >> Reggie: I WOULD WANT TO.

  • >> James: I WOULD LOVE TO SEE YOU WITH THAT HAIR.

  • LOOK, THERE IS HE.

  • LOOK.

  • >> THAT A GOOD LOOK.

  • >> James: THAT 100% WORKS.

  • >> Reggie: A GOOD LOOK, I LIKE IT.

  • >> James: BASICALLY IT IS NICK CARTER FROM THE BACK STREET

  • BOYS, THAT IS THE HAIR.

  • >> YEAH.

  • >> James: WHERE IS IAN, HAVE WE GOT IAN WITH THAT, CAN WE

  • SEE?

  • >> THAT LOOKS GOOD.

  • >> James: YOU LOOK LIKE GUY FIERI'S BROTHER.

  • >> YEAH, WE'RE REAL PROUD OF HIM, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.

  • >> James: CAN WE SEE THE ORIGINAL MCDONALD'S' KID AGAIN?

  • >> OH.

  • >> Reggie: BEHIND BARS.

  • >> James: NO, NO, THAT IS A REAL, THAT IS A REAL PHOTO OF

  • HAGAR.

  • >> GUILTY.

  • >> James: FROM, THAT WAS WHEN I WAS IN MY BOY BAND.

  • WE WERE, MY BOY BAND INSATIABLES.

  • YOU KNOW WHY?

  • YOU KNOW WHY, CC?

  • BECAUSE YOU JUST COULDN'T GET ENOUGH.

  • THAT'S TRUE.

  • THAT BOY BAND, INSATIABLE WE WERE CALLED.

  • WE WERE AHEAD OF OUR TIME IN MANY WAYS.

  • YEAH, WE HAD A SONG CALLED GIRL ARE YOU READY?