They're just having that blind faith that, you know, whatever is happening to you right now is meant to happen for you, Um, for a greater good.

And I know it's gonna It's tough right now for you to hear that, but you can you look at it two ways.

You Can you look at it that this what was me?

This is gonna happen this happening to me, and I'm going to, you know, blame everybody else and respond in a way that's gonna make my life worse.

Or I can acknowledge that I'm using the situation to become a better version of me to be able to help other people going forward.

And I think with that, it kind of gives you a positive approach to it where they can look at and say, You know what?

I'm going through this pain right now.

I acknowledge I'm going through it, but it's gonna make me one hell of a man growing up and that ultimately, is going to save my ass.

You know, as I grow up, you got yourself here.

You're here right now, and, um, you can you know, man up and do what you need to do to get better.

Or you could be a go cry in the corner Blame everybody for your problem Say what was me?

I think sometimes in our lives, when we're feeling that hopelessness were in that rat race of just feeling sorry for ourselves and saying your life is never gonna get better, it's tough.

And I think especially we don't believe I have that belief in ourselves.

When somebody says I believe in you and you could do it and I'm gonna help show you the way to get you started I was like, I've never had anybody do that to me before.

That unconditional love I just felt like this void being filled.

Whether we believe we can, we believe we can't, right.

It's the same answer.

And for me, I always believe that I couldn't.

I'm not gonna deal to do it.

I'm not.

You're your own direction.

You're your own power and you're your own beginning.

This is the power that you deserve into power.

That honestly, you should trust.

Remember, your life is in your control, not anybody else's.

A lot of people are gonna tell you to do this or do that or say I'm just a part of my environment.

That's not true.

In your hands.

This very moment is your journey the journey that allows you to be someone fueled by your potential.

Keep going.

Keep going.

Keep going.

Now isn't the time to wait Now isn't the time toe waste Let this be the power that takes you towards your success?

This'd is the opportunity you've earnt.

This is the potential you've always had.

Step out of the crowd and step into your success.

And I think in life we can't change the past, right.

We can only learn and grow from it.

So there's no sense in, like, harping on the stakes.

You made their done like I always say, fail more because if you never made a mistake, it means you never tried.

If you never tried, it means you never took a chance If you never took a chance, you never believe in yourself.

You never had faith and faith.

We need faith.

You need to believe in yourself.

It doesn't matter how many times you failed.

What matters is you keep getting up every day and trying again.

And that's what really is important knowing that each day you have an opportunity to change, Keep going, keep going.

Keep going.

Take the risk that allow you to become something more that allow you to change your view on life that allow you to look through a different pair of eyes.

One that grants you the power to see something and to know how to change it, to look at life as an opportunity, an opportunity to feel like somebody knew someone with the potential that they can keep moving forward.

We're not defined by our circumstances were defined by the choices we make in response to our circumstances.

And I think people don't.

They don't like to look at pain like they don't People like afraid of pain.

They don't wanna be hurt.

They wanna be coddled.

They want this.

They want that pains, great man.

And I think we need to change the way we view pain because pain can really be the catalyst for purpose.

I mean, you think about working out, right?

One of things I love about fitness is how it can be such a influential part in so many other areas of your life.

You have to fail to grow stronger.

You have to fail to run faster.

You have to be in pain.

And so using that pain to get better and you grow from it graft until you feel pain, rise from your toes up to the highest point of your head.

Not until then will you know you've made it.

Made it past the fear past failure and towards achievement.

You're in the right place.

Your place is here.

This is where it all starts, where your life finally falls into place where you don't just see progress, you become it.

You have it.

You feel it within you.

Thing is, when you know you've made it when you know you've grown trusting the process, being patient, if they're not seeing results as fast as they want quitting isn't gonna help them get there.

So I just try to help them see that Just change your mindset, change your perspective.

Be grateful, be as positive as you can be because I think positivity is one of those.

It's like one of those buzzwords not be positive.

Be this be that which you can't be positive about.

Everything because there's some things in life that suck.

You gotta be looking at me like, well, £100 overweight like that sucks.

But I think the key is being positive about the way you're going about doing things is what changes things is if you're pessimistic and negative, you're not gonna do E.

I think so many people are afraid to look at themselves in the mirror and realize that there's a problem.

Like realize that they're the ones complaining, bitching and moaning, and that them being coddled and at sugarcoating everything is the reason that they're not getting anywhere in life.

Reaching a gulf sucks.

It takes a lot of hard work, but not achieving the goal sucks even more so Choose your suck.

Do you wanna suck by not achieving it?

Or do you wanna suck by working hard, putting in passion, putting in discipline, commitment, hard work and then achieving something on?

That's how you build confidence is, you know, tackling things you never thought you could do trying things and failing and getting back up and keep going.

Keep going and like it doesn't matter how many times you get punched in the mouth.

It matters how many times you fight back.

And I think a lot of times, Tom, like, I love this analogy because it relates to so many people in a fight.

If you and I were to sit here and I would just you were to start punching me at random, sucker punching me like when I stand here and let you beat the piss out of me like I would hope not right.

But in life, we let life beat the piss out of us.

We make our circumstances even worse by one of negative event happens.

We get depressed, we feel pity for ourselves and return toe quick fixes like drugs, alcohol, and it makes our situation worse.

So when you unpack the layer and you give that tough love of saying, you know what, like you need a change like when you look at yourself in the mirror and stop being a victim, stop blaming other people and take ownership for yourself and stop waiting for other people to fix your life.

What is it that you're waiting for?

How much do you want it?

Ask yourself this.

What's more valuable waiting or your time your power and your action.

This is where your journey starts.

This is where you grow, grow, adapt, improve to become the person you admire.

This is you.

This can be you.

I think our belief system about ourselves can be so like hijacked, based on what people others say about us.

And then we start to believe it.

Whether it's like you know, you're ugly, you're a pussy, you suck.

You suck your own athletic, your on that.

And then, sure enough, if it happens over years, you start to believe that about yourself.

If you have no confidence in who you are, and I think the more you can own who you are and just chase after your own dreams and stop worrying about everybody else, Then those things start to become lies.

And people are saying, You know what?

Your pieces, you suck when you know if you know about yourself like that, that's not true.

I mean, that's what self love is.

It's just really knowing truly inside of you who you are.

Well, I think I look at your why why you're doing because I think when you have a strong enough why, like what's in the house become your relevant.

You remember why you started?

Because I think we spend so much time worrying about what everybody else is.

Then we've lost track of who we are as a person, right?

And just looking within, whether that's a meditation or prayer or journaling, it's really figure out like the things we like, the people we like, You know where we like going and all that stuff.

And then you kind of filter that into your life organically in order to get where you're going.

You know where you're at.

Keep going.

Keep going.

Keep going.

You have this power.

Communicate your problems, communicate the power.

You know that you have things is the beginning of your power.

Start of your progress.

This is where it starts thistles, where you become something something better than now where you build a life for yourself.

One where you hold the reins where you make the final cut where you have that power.

This risk is what will take you in the direction where you control your life at last.

So you have to deliberately practice the weaknesses and make them a strong as you can while also practicing your strengths and making those the top of your performance.

Most people are too lazy to do that.

They just want to practice everything or they don't want to even bother to figure out which pieces the most important, you have to dig the well before you're thirsty and you have to give without the attachment to getting something in return.

So when people want to reach out, stop thinking about what's in it for you.

Start thinking about Onley, What's in it for other people, and if you don't worry about what's in it for you, you will find opportunities that come later down the line.

And to sort of illustrate this.

When I moved to L.

A.

I had a toothache and it started to get more and more painful, and it really was starting to dig into my brain.

I couldn't think I didn't have a car and moved from New York.

Things is pre uber.

I didn't have dental insurance because I was 27 you know who cares about your teeth?

Right?

You think about those later, you'll get new ones.

And so I started to desperately called dentists and they were like, Look, I don't take new patients, or I can see you in a week.

Go to the ER if you have a toothache and I'm thinking a week I haven't slept.

You know, this thing is killing me.

So I posted on Facebook, and obviously I didn't have my privacy setting set correctly because of random Stranger filled in the comment and said, My answer, Dentist near you.

Do you want me to give you a call on I said?

Sure.

Yeah.

So I went to his aunt the next morning before they officially opened.

Got that thing drilled the hell out.

Got it filled.

She didn't overcharge me.

I send this guy message.

Thank you so much.

He goes No problem in I don't know what you dio.

I heard you have some show that my friend likes, but I'm glad you got your tooth taken care of.

And I said, let me know if there's anything I could do.

He said, Well, I'm a graphic designer, but I'm working at a cafe right now is a barista.

I would love to just not make another cup of coffee again on I said, Well, I don't have any work for you, but I'll keep my ear to the ground, he said.

Whatever you could do, no problem.

I don't expect you to give me a job.

Four days later, another entrepreneur friend of mine, she writes me and says My Web guys are blowing it.

I keep firing them who can create good branding for me?

I said, I've never worked with this guy but here's a portfolio.

He's a nice person.

That's really all I could say.

That guy got a full time job is far as I know still works there years later, designing websites and templates and themes and branding for this woman's company because he helped me find a dentist on Facebook.

So if he had been thinking, how do I get a job?

He would never have made that introduction to a dentist because the connection the nexus is unclear.

The opportunity lie over the horizon.

But since he was helping without the attachment or expectation of anything in return, he ended up finding an opportunity through me that I didn't know about and that he didn't know about.

But you won't find those unless you are constantly reaching out, digging the well before you're thirsty and giving without that expectation of anything in return.