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  • IT, BUT FIRST LOOK AT THIS, LOOK AT THE STUDIO.

  • IT'S TRANSFORMED.

  • (APPLAUSE) OKAY.

  • THANK YOU FOR YOUR ENTHUSIASM, GUYS, WENT REALLY BIG ON THAT.

  • (LAUGHTER) I FEEL THE SAME AS YOU, I'M LIKE

  • YEAH, OKAY, GOOD, NO, BRILLIANT, IS IT, IS IT CHRISTMAS?

  • I DON'T KNOW, IT COULD BE MARCH, IT COULD BE 2022, WHO KNOWS, BUT

  • LOOK AT THIS, AS ALWAYS, LOU, INCREDIBLE SET DESIGNER HAS DONE

  • A BEAUTIFUL JOB.

  • I LOVE IT I DO.

  • I LOVE IT.

  • I CAME IN, I WAS LIKE OH, I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW PARIS HILTON

  • MADE CHRISTMAS TREES.

  • BUT WE'RE HERE GUYS.

  • DECEMBER IS HERE.

  • CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?

  • ONLY 24 MORE SHOPPING DAYS UNTIL CHRISTMAS.

  • AND THEN ONLY ABOUT 180 MORE SHOPPING DAYS UNTIL WE CAN ALL

  • SAFELY GO SHOPPING AGAIN.

  • ARE YOU IN IT, REG, ARE YOU GETTING THE CHRISTMAS FEEL?

  • ARE YOU-- .

  • >> Reggie: YOU KNOW, YEAH.

  • >> James: I THINK, DO I THINK THAT IS THE CHRISTMAS SPIRIT

  • THISSIER.

  • >> Reggie: THAT IS THE MAX RIGHT THERE.

  • >> James: THAT IS AS GOOD AS IT ET GOES.

  • IS JUST YES, I GUESS.

  • I'VE BEEN SO-- I THINK SO.

  • YOU KNOW, THIS IS IT.

  • WE'RE DOING IT, PANDEMIC OR NOT WE CAN STILL KEEP THE SPIRIT OF

  • THE HOLIDAY, YOU KNOW?

  • EXCEPT FOR MISTLETOE, GONE THIS YEAR, OUT.

  • NO MISTLETOE.

  • I HOPE MISTLETOE MAKES A COMEBACK IN 2021 AND COMES IN

  • WITH A VENGEANCE, YOU KNOW.

  • >> ALL YEAR, YEAR ROUND MISTLETOE, AUGUST 159, MISTLETOE

  • Y NOT, LET'S GIVE IT A WHOLE YEAR.

  • >> James: ALTHOUGH I DO WORRY ABOUT YOU IF YOU MAKE THAT PACT.

  • I THINK IT WOULD LOOK REALLY CREEPY.

  • YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.

  • >> FOURTH OF JULY, FIREWORKS IN THE AIR, HOT DOGS ON THE GRILL

  • AND LOOK WHAT WE HAPPEN TO BE STANDING UNDER.

  • >> James: HEY GUYS.

  • IT'S SEPTEMBER 8th.

  • YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS?

  • >> EASTER IS UPON US AND YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE HAS RISEN, A

  • LITTLE BIT OF OF MISTLETOE.

  • >> James: I DO THINK THAT COULD BACK FIRE BUT HAVE I GOOD

  • HOPES.

  • I THINK NEXT YEAR MISTLETOE WILL BE BACK AT IT.

  • WE WILL ALL TALK ABOUT OH, REMEMBER WHEN WE COULDN'T HAVE

  • MISTLETOE.

  • PROBABLY WON'T.

  • IS (LAUGHTER)

  • ALL RIGHT, LET'S MOVE ON WITH THE HEADLINES, SOME BIG NEWS OUT

  • OF DVMENT YVMENT, ATTORNEY GENERAL WILLIAM BARR JUST

  • ANNOUNCED THAT HES HAD NOT UNCOVERED ANY EVIDENCE OF

  • WIDESPREAD VOTER FRAUD THAT WOULD CHANGE THE OUTCOME OF THE

  • 2020 PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION.

  • IT IS SO WEIRD THAT THEY DIDN'T FIND EVIDENCE OF THE VERY THING

  • THEY NEVER BACKED UP WITH ANY EVIDENCE.

  • OF COURSE PRESIDENT TRUMP IS STILL CONTINUING HIS DESPERATE

  • ATTEMPT TO DELEGITIMIZE THE ELECTION AND THINGS SEEM TO HIT

  • A NEW LOW LAST NIGHT AS HE RETWEETED THREE TIMES AN ACCOUNT

  • CALLED CAT TURD.

  • NOW TO BE HAIR,-- FAIR, THE CAT IS WEARING GLASSES SO IT MUST BE

  • SMART.

  • THE ACTUAL TWITTER HANDLE FOR THE ACCOUNT IS CAT TURD 2-RBG

  • AND I FOR ONE CANNOT WAIT TO SEE WHAT IS IN STORE FROM CAT TURD

  • 3.

  • CAT TURD SOUNDS LIKE SOMEONE SWROA BIDEN WOULD HAVE BOUGHT

  • AFTER A SPEECH DURING THE PRIMARY.

  • LICENSE WHEN I WAS GROWING NEWSPAPER SCRANTON THERE WAS A

  • REAL MEAN SON OF A GUN, WE USED TO CALL HIM CAT TURD, CODO DOO

  • WOP AND BEBOP LIKE NOBODY'S BUSINESS.

  • WHAT WAS A TALKING ABOUT?

  • OH YEAH CLAIM AT CHANGE SWRZ MANY WHILE MORE AND MORE STATES

  • ARE CERTIFIEDING THEIR OFFICIAL RESULTS WHICH LED TO THIS,

  • YESTERDAY REPUBLICAN SENATOR TED DOESY'S PHONE WENT OFF, HE SAID

  • IF HE HAD CHANGED HIS RING TON TO HAIL TO THE CHIEF WHENEVER

  • TRUMP CALLED HIM.

  • LACK AT WHAT THE GOVERNOR OF ARIZONA DOES AFTER HE PHONES

  • GSH-- HIS PHONE STARTED PLAYING THAT SONG.

  • ♪ >> Reggie: YES.

  • >> James: TRUMP JUST GOD FRIEND-A-ZONAD.

  • >> IT IS A SAVAGE MOVE, SAVAGE MOVE FROM ANYONE WHO STILL USES

  • CUSTOM RING TONES.

  • WHO USES CUSTOM RING-- DO YOU?

  • DO YOU HONESTLY.

  • YOU USE A CUSTOM RING TONE?

  • >> Reggie: YEAH.

  • >> James: BUT DON'T YOU STILL JUST LOOK AT YOUR PHONE ANYWAY?

  • >> Reggie: YEAH, BUT THERE IS A COUPLE OF PEOPLE AND I ALSO

  • HAVE THE CUSTOM, YOU KNOW, THE TAP, LIKE THE VIBRATION WILL

  • GO-- .

  • >> James: AND YOU WILL SET THAT FROM SOMEONE ELSE.

  • >> SO IN YOUR POCKET YOU KNOW WHO IT IS WHEN THEY CALL.

  • >> James: I DON'T THINK I WOULD EVER BE ANYWHERE WHERE I

  • AM LIKE WHAT IS THAT, WHO THE LET THE DOGS OUT, OH THAT'S

  • WAS' THAT, WHAT'S THAT?

  • -- LEV THAT.

  • IGNORE THAT.

  • ARE YOU A CUSTOM RING TONE GUY?

  • >> NO, I HAVEN'T ANSWERED MY PHONE SINCE LIKE 2010.

  • >> James: YOU ARE A BIG TEXT GUY TEXT ONLY.

  • >> FACETIME SOMETIMES BUT TEXT OR FACETIME.

  • I DON'T NEED THE PHONE STUFF, WHAT AM IS IT, A LEKSZ ANDER

  • GRAHAM BELL CALLING, THO THANK YOU.

  • >> James: IT IS WEIRD BECAUSE I THINK THE LAND LINE PHONES,

  • THE HOME PHONES IS NOW THE EQUIVALENT OF THE DOOR BELL.

  • SO WHEN I WAS GROWING UP AND WE WERE THE DING DONG, EVERYONE

  • GOES WHO IS THAT.

  • WHO?

  • WHO COULD THAT BE.

  • AND WE WOULD SPEND LIKE 20 SECONDS BEFORE ANYONE GOT UP AND

  • YOU WOULDN'T EVEN OPEN THE DOOR, YOU DO A QUICK PEEK AROUND THE

  • WINDOW.

  • NOW THE LAND LINE PHONE IS THAT IN OUR HOUSE, BRR, WE GO-- WELL

  • WHO COULD IT BE.

  • AND I'LL GO, MAYBE ANSWER IT, AND THEY'LL DP OOM'S NOT GOING

  • TO ANSWER IT.

  • NO ONE HAS GOT THAT NUMBER.

  • THERE IS NO REASON.

  • >> IT'S YOUR PHONE'S NUMBER, THEY THE ONLY RUNS ONES WHO

  • HAVE THAT.

  • >> WE MISSED THE MOMENT TO I VAC YAIT OUR HOUSE DURING THE FIRE.

  • WE ARE IN-- WE'VE GOT TO EVACUATE, NO ONE TOLD US, OH, WE

  • IGNORED THE HOME PHONE, THAT WILL BE IT.

  • AND HERE'S SOME GOOD NEWS TO KICK OFF OUR DECEMBER, SOUTH

  • KOREA JUST PASSED A SO CALLED BTS LAW WHICH DELAYS THE

  • COUNTRY'S REQUIRED MILITARY SERVICE FOR THE OLDEST MEMBERS

  • OF THE GROUP.

  • THAT IS A NO-BRAINER FOR ME.

  • AN ABSOLUTE NO-BRAINER, WHEN YOU HAVE HAIR THAT BEAUTIFUL YOU

  • DON'T COVER IT WITH A HELMET.

  • THE DID LAYING MILITARY SERVICE FOR MEMBERS OF BTS.

  • CAN YOU IMAGINE, BTS WITH EVEN MORE DISCIPLINE AND TRAINING?

  • DON'T BE ALARMED THE NEW LAW DOESN'T SAY ANYTHING ABOUT

  • THEM-- YOU KNOW PREVENTING THEM FROM BECOMING TOTALLY-- TOTALLY

  • ADORBS IN MILITARY OUTFITS IN A RECENT INTERVIEW BARACK OBAMA

  • SAID IF THEY MAKE A MOVIE ABOUT HIS LIFE HE WOULD LIKE DRAKE TO

  • PLAY HIM.

  • OUR THOUGHTS GO OUT TO WILL SMITH DURING THIS DIFFICULT

  • TIME.

  • OBAMA APPROVED IT AND APPARENTLY DRAKE IS INTERESTED SO I GUESS

  • NOW IT IS ALL GOING FLAT.

  • YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO IT, THAT SARCASTICALLY.

  • THAT, I KNOW YOU THINK YOU'RE BEING, THAT WAS A SARCASTIC, YOU

  • HIT THAT SYMBOL TOO HARD.

  • YOU DID YOU KNOW HE DID.

  • THAT WAS LIKE OH [BLEEP] YOU.

  • I LIKE THAT OBAMA ISN'T EVEN TRYING TO BE MODEST.

  • HE'S LIKE OF COURSE DRAKE WILL PLAY ME, YEAH, 100 PERCENT.

  • IF SOMEONE ASKED ME WHO SHOULD PLAY ME IN A BIOPIC I TRY TO

  • PRETEND THAT I DIDN'T WANT MATT DAMON TO DO IT YOU KNOW WHAT I

  • MEAN, OH, WOW, I HADN'T EVEN THOUGHT ABOUT T MAYBE SOME YOUNG

  • UNDISCOVERED ACTOR, SOMEONE ROUNDER, I DON'T KNOW, LIKE MATT

  • DAMON.

  • MATT DAMON.

  • THAT IS THE PROBLEM WITH SACK-- CHEEK BONES IT IS GREAT

  • UNTIL YOU HAVE TO TALK.

  • >> TELL ME ABOUT THE PROTECT, I'M LIKE-- I DON'T REALLY-- I'M

  • VERY PROUD OF IT.

  • I'LL SEE YOU LATER.

  • IAN, WHO WOULD PLAY NEW A MOVIE WHO WOULD YOU GET WHO WOULD YOU

  • GO TO?

  • >> NEITHER OF US ARE HAPPY ABOUT IT BUT JOSH GAD PROBABLY

  • (LAUGHTER).

  • >> James: YOU MEAN HE'S NOT HAPPY, YOU'RE NOT HAPPY.

  • >> NOBODY, IT'S THE TRUTH BUT THAT IS LIKE A COMPROMISE,

  • NOBODY IS HAPPY WHEN IT'S OVER.

  • >> James: WHO WOULD YOU GO TO REG, WHO WOULD PLAY YOU IN A

  • MOVIE.