Subtitles section Play video Print subtitles IT, BUT FIRST LOOK AT THIS, LOOK AT THE STUDIO. IT'S TRANSFORMED. (APPLAUSE) OKAY. THANK YOU FOR YOUR ENTHUSIASM, GUYS, WENT REALLY BIG ON THAT. (LAUGHTER) I FEEL THE SAME AS YOU, I'M LIKE YEAH, OKAY, GOOD, NO, BRILLIANT, IS IT, IS IT CHRISTMAS? I DON'T KNOW, IT COULD BE MARCH, IT COULD BE 2022, WHO KNOWS, BUT LOOK AT THIS, AS ALWAYS, LOU, INCREDIBLE SET DESIGNER HAS DONE A BEAUTIFUL JOB. I LOVE IT I DO. I LOVE IT. I CAME IN, I WAS LIKE OH, I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW PARIS HILTON MADE CHRISTMAS TREES. BUT WE'RE HERE GUYS. DECEMBER IS HERE. CAN YOU BELIEVE IT? ONLY 24 MORE SHOPPING DAYS UNTIL CHRISTMAS. AND THEN ONLY ABOUT 180 MORE SHOPPING DAYS UNTIL WE CAN ALL SAFELY GO SHOPPING AGAIN. ARE YOU IN IT, REG, ARE YOU GETTING THE CHRISTMAS FEEL? ARE YOU-- . >> Reggie: YOU KNOW, YEAH. >> James: I THINK, DO I THINK THAT IS THE CHRISTMAS SPIRIT THISSIER. >> Reggie: THAT IS THE MAX RIGHT THERE. >> James: THAT IS AS GOOD AS IT ET GOES. IS JUST YES, I GUESS. I'VE BEEN SO-- I THINK SO. YOU KNOW, THIS IS IT. WE'RE DOING IT, PANDEMIC OR NOT WE CAN STILL KEEP THE SPIRIT OF THE HOLIDAY, YOU KNOW? EXCEPT FOR MISTLETOE, GONE THIS YEAR, OUT. NO MISTLETOE. I HOPE MISTLETOE MAKES A COMEBACK IN 2021 AND COMES IN WITH A VENGEANCE, YOU KNOW. >> ALL YEAR, YEAR ROUND MISTLETOE, AUGUST 159, MISTLETOE Y NOT, LET'S GIVE IT A WHOLE YEAR. >> James: ALTHOUGH I DO WORRY ABOUT YOU IF YOU MAKE THAT PACT. I THINK IT WOULD LOOK REALLY CREEPY. YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN. >> FOURTH OF JULY, FIREWORKS IN THE AIR, HOT DOGS ON THE GRILL AND LOOK WHAT WE HAPPEN TO BE STANDING UNDER. >> James: HEY GUYS. IT'S SEPTEMBER 8th. YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS? >> EASTER IS UPON US AND YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE HAS RISEN, A LITTLE BIT OF OF MISTLETOE. >> James: I DO THINK THAT COULD BACK FIRE BUT HAVE I GOOD HOPES. I THINK NEXT YEAR MISTLETOE WILL BE BACK AT IT. WE WILL ALL TALK ABOUT OH, REMEMBER WHEN WE COULDN'T HAVE MISTLETOE. PROBABLY WON'T. IS (LAUGHTER) ALL RIGHT, LET'S MOVE ON WITH THE HEADLINES, SOME BIG NEWS OUT OF DVMENT YVMENT, ATTORNEY GENERAL WILLIAM BARR JUST ANNOUNCED THAT HES HAD NOT UNCOVERED ANY EVIDENCE OF WIDESPREAD VOTER FRAUD THAT WOULD CHANGE THE OUTCOME OF THE 2020 PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION. IT IS SO WEIRD THAT THEY DIDN'T FIND EVIDENCE OF THE VERY THING THEY NEVER BACKED UP WITH ANY EVIDENCE. OF COURSE PRESIDENT TRUMP IS STILL CONTINUING HIS DESPERATE ATTEMPT TO DELEGITIMIZE THE ELECTION AND THINGS SEEM TO HIT A NEW LOW LAST NIGHT AS HE RETWEETED THREE TIMES AN ACCOUNT CALLED CAT TURD. NOW TO BE HAIR,-- FAIR, THE CAT IS WEARING GLASSES SO IT MUST BE SMART. THE ACTUAL TWITTER HANDLE FOR THE ACCOUNT IS CAT TURD 2-RBG AND I FOR ONE CANNOT WAIT TO SEE WHAT IS IN STORE FROM CAT TURD 3. CAT TURD SOUNDS LIKE SOMEONE SWROA BIDEN WOULD HAVE BOUGHT AFTER A SPEECH DURING THE PRIMARY. LICENSE WHEN I WAS GROWING NEWSPAPER SCRANTON THERE WAS A REAL MEAN SON OF A GUN, WE USED TO CALL HIM CAT TURD, CODO DOO WOP AND BEBOP LIKE NOBODY'S BUSINESS. WHAT WAS A TALKING ABOUT? OH YEAH CLAIM AT CHANGE SWRZ MANY WHILE MORE AND MORE STATES ARE CERTIFIEDING THEIR OFFICIAL RESULTS WHICH LED TO THIS, YESTERDAY REPUBLICAN SENATOR TED DOESY'S PHONE WENT OFF, HE SAID IF HE HAD CHANGED HIS RING TON TO HAIL TO THE CHIEF WHENEVER TRUMP CALLED HIM. LACK AT WHAT THE GOVERNOR OF ARIZONA DOES AFTER HE PHONES GSH-- HIS PHONE STARTED PLAYING THAT SONG. ♪ >> Reggie: YES. >> James: TRUMP JUST GOD FRIEND-A-ZONAD. >> IT IS A SAVAGE MOVE, SAVAGE MOVE FROM ANYONE WHO STILL USES CUSTOM RING TONES. WHO USES CUSTOM RING-- DO YOU? DO YOU HONESTLY. YOU USE A CUSTOM RING TONE? >> Reggie: YEAH. >> James: BUT DON'T YOU STILL JUST LOOK AT YOUR PHONE ANYWAY? >> Reggie: YEAH, BUT THERE IS A COUPLE OF PEOPLE AND I ALSO HAVE THE CUSTOM, YOU KNOW, THE TAP, LIKE THE VIBRATION WILL GO-- . >> James: AND YOU WILL SET THAT FROM SOMEONE ELSE. >> SO IN YOUR POCKET YOU KNOW WHO IT IS WHEN THEY CALL. >> James: I DON'T THINK I WOULD EVER BE ANYWHERE WHERE I AM LIKE WHAT IS THAT, WHO THE LET THE DOGS OUT, OH THAT'S WAS' THAT, WHAT'S THAT? -- LEV THAT. IGNORE THAT. ARE YOU A CUSTOM RING TONE GUY? >> NO, I HAVEN'T ANSWERED MY PHONE SINCE LIKE 2010. >> James: YOU ARE A BIG TEXT GUY TEXT ONLY. >> FACETIME SOMETIMES BUT TEXT OR FACETIME. I DON'T NEED THE PHONE STUFF, WHAT AM IS IT, A LEKSZ ANDER GRAHAM BELL CALLING, THO THANK YOU. >> James: IT IS WEIRD BECAUSE I THINK THE LAND LINE PHONES, THE HOME PHONES IS NOW THE EQUIVALENT OF THE DOOR BELL. SO WHEN I WAS GROWING UP AND WE WERE THE DING DONG, EVERYONE GOES WHO IS THAT. WHO? WHO COULD THAT BE. AND WE WOULD SPEND LIKE 20 SECONDS BEFORE ANYONE GOT UP AND YOU WOULDN'T EVEN OPEN THE DOOR, YOU DO A QUICK PEEK AROUND THE WINDOW. NOW THE LAND LINE PHONE IS THAT IN OUR HOUSE, BRR, WE GO-- WELL WHO COULD IT BE. AND I'LL GO, MAYBE ANSWER IT, AND THEY'LL DP OOM'S NOT GOING TO ANSWER IT. NO ONE HAS GOT THAT NUMBER. THERE IS NO REASON. >> IT'S YOUR PHONE'S NUMBER, THEY THE ONLY RUNS ONES WHO HAVE THAT. >> WE MISSED THE MOMENT TO I VAC YAIT OUR HOUSE DURING THE FIRE. WE ARE IN-- WE'VE GOT TO EVACUATE, NO ONE TOLD US, OH, WE IGNORED THE HOME PHONE, THAT WILL BE IT. AND HERE'S SOME GOOD NEWS TO KICK OFF OUR DECEMBER, SOUTH KOREA JUST PASSED A SO CALLED BTS LAW WHICH DELAYS THE COUNTRY'S REQUIRED MILITARY SERVICE FOR THE OLDEST MEMBERS OF THE GROUP. THAT IS A NO-BRAINER FOR ME. AN ABSOLUTE NO-BRAINER, WHEN YOU HAVE HAIR THAT BEAUTIFUL YOU DON'T COVER IT WITH A HELMET. THE DID LAYING MILITARY SERVICE FOR MEMBERS OF BTS. CAN YOU IMAGINE, BTS WITH EVEN MORE DISCIPLINE AND TRAINING? DON'T BE ALARMED THE NEW LAW DOESN'T SAY ANYTHING ABOUT THEM-- YOU KNOW PREVENTING THEM FROM BECOMING TOTALLY-- TOTALLY ADORBS IN MILITARY OUTFITS IN A RECENT INTERVIEW BARACK OBAMA SAID IF THEY MAKE A MOVIE ABOUT HIS LIFE HE WOULD LIKE DRAKE TO PLAY HIM. OUR THOUGHTS GO OUT TO WILL SMITH DURING THIS DIFFICULT TIME. OBAMA APPROVED IT AND APPARENTLY DRAKE IS INTERESTED SO I GUESS NOW IT IS ALL GOING FLAT. YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO IT, THAT SARCASTICALLY. THAT, I KNOW YOU THINK YOU'RE BEING, THAT WAS A SARCASTIC, YOU HIT THAT SYMBOL TOO HARD. YOU DID YOU KNOW HE DID. THAT WAS LIKE OH [BLEEP] YOU. I LIKE THAT OBAMA ISN'T EVEN TRYING TO BE MODEST. HE'S LIKE OF COURSE DRAKE WILL PLAY ME, YEAH, 100 PERCENT. IF SOMEONE ASKED ME WHO SHOULD PLAY ME IN A BIOPIC I TRY TO PRETEND THAT I DIDN'T WANT MATT DAMON TO DO IT YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN, OH, WOW, I HADN'T EVEN THOUGHT ABOUT T MAYBE SOME YOUNG UNDISCOVERED ACTOR, SOMEONE ROUNDER, I DON'T KNOW, LIKE MATT DAMON. MATT DAMON. THAT IS THE PROBLEM WITH SACK-- CHEEK BONES IT IS GREAT UNTIL YOU HAVE TO TALK. >> TELL ME ABOUT THE PROTECT, I'M LIKE-- I DON'T REALLY-- I'M VERY PROUD OF IT. I'LL SEE YOU LATER. IAN, WHO WOULD PLAY NEW A MOVIE WHO WOULD YOU GET WHO WOULD YOU GO TO? >> NEITHER OF US ARE HAPPY ABOUT IT BUT JOSH GAD PROBABLY (LAUGHTER). >> James: YOU MEAN HE'S NOT HAPPY, YOU'RE NOT HAPPY. >> NOBODY, IT'S THE TRUTH BUT THAT IS LIKE A COMPROMISE, NOBODY IS HAPPY WHEN IT'S OVER. >> James: WHO WOULD YOU GO TO REG, WHO WOULD PLAY YOU IN A MOVIE.