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  • (crowd applauds)

  • It's incredible, I'll say you've got so much.

  • This guy has so much pep.

  • Most celebrities I meet them like over there.

  • You were here before I could get around the desk,

  • coming at me, just like this.

  • This is what I see.

  • Just camera one.

  • I just see this.

  • I see you coming right at me with your hand.

  • You're fast.

  • You're quick.

  • You're energetic.

  • I love you, mate.

  • I can't wait to get in there and shake your hand.

  • Don't get anywhere, okay.

  • Now let's settle down, now.

  • Sorry sorry sorry.

  • Now you just did the um.

  • Everyone's settled down.

  • I'll clean the show up if it's the last thing I do.

  • (giggles)

  • First of all, you are so lucky 'cause

  • you did the Macy's day parade today.

  • My first parade every.

  • Your first parade ever, and this is.

  • (crowd cheers)

  • I've been watching the Queen.

  • Yeah, you've been watching the Queen.

  • You did they wave the whole time.

  • But you're so lucky because you,

  • you're always wearing the shorts.

  • Yeah.

  • It's often like, "Yeah!"

  • (crowd laughs)

  • Well I'm glad you're excited about it,

  • but you know, it's often 15 degrees

  • or 20 degrees here on Thanksgiving.

  • Today, you lucked out.

  • It was a balmy 60 degrees.

  • And Conan, the sun popped up for about 30 seconds.

  • Just straight through in between the skyscrapers

  • and that big cloud that seems to be hanging around there.

  • Right, right.

  • So it popped out.

  • So, so you got very lucky.

  • Did you enjoy doing the parade?

  • Did you have a good time?

  • I did.

  • There was more than the sun that popped out, mate.

  • This is my first parade, right?

  • (crowd laughs)

  • Fair dinkum, I'm wearing undies.

  • How's this?

  • Wait wait wait.

  • Fair dinkum?

  • What is that?

  • Forget it, just with the story.

  • True story, true story.

  • Oh, it's true story, okay.

  • Okay, so I'm doing the parade, and I'm like, "Hey!"

  • And as the people get excited, I felt like a rockstar.

  • I'm like, "Hey!"

  • And this Sheila just goes yay like this.

  • No without, no bra or any.

  • And then these two

  • Yeah she did

  • Wait, wait, wait.

  • First, a woman flashed you.

  • Yeah.

  • And then two guys did, too.

  • Two blokes, yeah.

  • Down the parade a bit further.

  • Right, right.

  • Yeah.

  • (exhales)

  • It's not supposed to it's the Ma it's

  • This isn't Mardi Gras.

  • It's the M

  • So this is normal?

  • No, no, no.

  • This is not supposed to be like that.

  • You're there's not supposed to be any flashing

  • at thee Macy's Thanksgiving day parade.

  • Well the NYPD was like, you know, there was them,

  • and she was like right behind them,

  • and they just came right out.

  • It was like, right.

  • Yeah.

  • Glad they're there protecting you

  • Yeah

  • From the pretty girl's breasts.

  • That's not normal in the Macy's Day?

  • Doesn't normally happen.

  • There's a lot of exposure and stuff going on central park

  • all the time, but the parade is usually a,

  • it's usually a family kind of event.

  • It's not like that normally.

  • That's what I thought, but yeah.

  • Everyone knows that you work with, with, with gators.

  • Yeah.

  • Crocs, you call them not cross, crocs.

  • Yeah.

  • I don't know the difference, but anyway.

  • You also have in your zoo, you have two giant pythons.

  • Yeah.

  • These things are very dangerous.

  • Are they not?

  • Absolutely, they're the longest snake species.

  • Do you ever give an answer that's like eh?

  • (crowd laughs)

  • Or is everything always like "Die, Conan!"

  • Well how's this, mate?

  • They eat people.

  • I mean the reticulated python, longest snake species.

  • Now, you're prepping me up now.

  • Sorry.

  • I was a little sluggish earlier, but this is good.

  • Keep it going.

  • The longest snake species in the world

  • is the reticulated python, and they average

  • killing and eating one person per year.

  • So they're pretty exciting snakes.

  • Right, right.

  • Really exciting, these are the giant pythons of the world.

  • And they constrict their pray, so they curl around you

  • and squeeze the air right out of you.

  • Okay, so what's the.

  • Have you ever been in dire emergency

  • or danger with one of these pythons?

  • Yeah.

  • Tell me.

  • (crowd laughs)

  • One got me.

  • One got you?

  • I'm trying to settle down, that not working?

  • No, no, no.

  • I don't want you to settle down.

  • We need this pep.

  • This is exactly what we need.

  • Crank it back up again.

  • How's this, how's this?

  • Get some coffee into this guy.

  • I can't drink coffee, mate.

  • You on coffee would be yeah, insane.

  • They could strap you to a rocket, and you'd go to the moon.

  • Yeah.

  • Oh, mate.

  • Nonetheless, I'm working at the zoo.

  • We've got this python, 24 feet in length.

  • And there was no one else.

  • It was really early in the morning.

  • My dad was on a field trip.

  • So I going with my pooper scooper.

  • I see the poo in the back of the cage.

  • What you have to cleaning?

  • You have to, you have a pooper scooper,

  • like could use for doggies on a giant Python.

  • A big spoon, a big spoon pooper scooper, like a shovel.

  • (crowd laughs)

  • 'Cause a big snake, big poop.

  • Yeah.

  • So I go in to scoop the poop,

  • and she goes from the, from the corner.

  • Like this thing's got a six foot strike range, like bang!

  • (whipping sounds)

  • All the way around me.

  • Now, luckily the pooper scooper arm and

  • the pooper scooper which was, was stuck in here.

  • And she fully just strangles me like right round.

  • What a horrible way to die with

  • a pooper scooper crushed up against your

  • That's what I'm thinking.

  • It would be the worst thing about it.

  • Yeah, mate.

  • Okay, so then you're in trouble.

  • It's squeezing now.

  • I'm dying.

  • Cause every time I breathe out,

  • she squeezes up a bit more and I'm like

  • (inhales)

  • getting shorter of breath, shorter of breath.

  • So I thought, alright, I don't

  • want to die with the pooper scooper.

  • So I rolled out of the cage, and as

  • I started to walk, the snake worked out

  • two legged animal and constricted my feet.

  • So now it's like little steps like this.

  • And then, bang.

  • I fall over, and now I'm really close to death.

  • Right.

  • Next thing I hear the gate rattle and it's my mom.

  • She's going to work.

  • And I'm like, "Mom, Mom!"

  • And it's muffled.

  • And she goes "Be right there, son. No big deal."

  • Right, right, right.

  • So she takes her time, opens the entrance.

  • And then she's "I wonder where he is?"

  • She goes to the reticulated python cage.

  • Looks at the blood.

  • 'Cause all his blood flows out from the teeth.

  • They've got a lot of teeth.

  • And follows the blood trail here, and I'm like

  • (gasps)

  • Like that trying to keep air coming in.

  • Right.

  • And she grabbed like the last part

  • of this tail and peeled it off slowly.

  • That's how you do it?

  • You grab it by the tail?

  • Yeah, yeah.

  • How does that, how does that work?

  • Well that's the locking device, you know?

  • Their, mate, they're so strong,

  • like incredibly strong.

  • Like squeeze the living daylights.

  • Until your eyes pop.

  • They're strong.

  • Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

  • And so the tail

  • So your saying there's like literally a button at the

  • tail that you just push and just goes looloo.

  • Oh, no.

  • (giggles)

  • (crowd laughs)

  • It says in case of emergency?

  • No there's no ejection button

  • Now you gotta to grab the tail.

  • 'Cause that's what locks all the

  • coils together and then peel it off.

  • Your mom sounds like a real, I mean,

  • my mother wouldn't be able to do that.

  • You know?

  • Yeah.

  • Your mother went in there and unwrapped a giant python.

  • It was killing

  • And saved my life.

  • And saved your life.

  • Did she then like throw it against a wall

  • and pick you up and run to the hospital?

  • (giggles)

  • No.

  • (crowd laughs)

  • No, that didn't happen?

  • No, no.

  • It makes a better story.

  • Oh, it is!

  • And then what happened?

  • She ran you to the, wow incredible.

  • Whoa.

  • You've been bitten many times by these snakes.

  • I have, yeah.

  • And you actually, when they,

  • when they, when a snake bites you,

  • it's not just the venom that can hurt you.

  • Is that right?

  • I mean, the venom is very dangerous, but the, the teeth,

  • I mean, they're very sharp.

  • Well, with these pythons that we're talking about,

  • they got a couple of hundred teeth and they're needle sharp.

  • A couple of hundred?

  • Yeah.

  • Wow.

  • Yeah.

  • Like 50 top and bottom, both sides.

  • Right, right.

  • And they're really sharp, really long and recurved.