Subtitles section Play video Print subtitles (crowd applauds) It's incredible, I'll say you've got so much. This guy has so much pep. Most celebrities I meet them like over there. You were here before I could get around the desk, coming at me, just like this. This is what I see. Just camera one. I just see this. I see you coming right at me with your hand. You're fast. You're quick. You're energetic. I love you, mate. I can't wait to get in there and shake your hand. Don't get anywhere, okay. Now let's settle down, now. Sorry sorry sorry. Now you just did the um. Everyone's settled down. I'll clean the show up if it's the last thing I do. (giggles) First of all, you are so lucky 'cause you did the Macy's day parade today. My first parade every. Your first parade ever, and this is. (crowd cheers) I've been watching the Queen. Yeah, you've been watching the Queen. You did they wave the whole time. But you're so lucky because you, you're always wearing the shorts. Yeah. It's often like, "Yeah!" (crowd laughs) Well I'm glad you're excited about it, but you know, it's often 15 degrees or 20 degrees here on Thanksgiving. Today, you lucked out. It was a balmy 60 degrees. And Conan, the sun popped up for about 30 seconds. Just straight through in between the skyscrapers and that big cloud that seems to be hanging around there. Right, right. So it popped out. So, so you got very lucky. Did you enjoy doing the parade? Did you have a good time? I did. There was more than the sun that popped out, mate. This is my first parade, right? (crowd laughs) Fair dinkum, I'm wearing undies. How's this? Wait wait wait. Fair dinkum? What is that? Forget it, just with the story. True story, true story. Oh, it's true story, okay. Okay, so I'm doing the parade, and I'm like, "Hey!" And as the people get excited, I felt like a rockstar. I'm like, "Hey!" And this Sheila just goes yay like this. No without, no bra or any. And then these two Yeah she did Wait, wait, wait. First, a woman flashed you. Yeah. And then two guys did, too. Two blokes, yeah. Down the parade a bit further. Right, right. Yeah. (exhales) It's not supposed to it's the Ma it's This isn't Mardi Gras. It's the M So this is normal? No, no, no. This is not supposed to be like that. You're there's not supposed to be any flashing at thee Macy's Thanksgiving day parade. Well the NYPD was like, you know, there was them, and she was like right behind them, and they just came right out. It was like, right. Yeah. Glad they're there protecting you Yeah From the pretty girl's breasts. That's not normal in the Macy's Day? Doesn't normally happen. There's a lot of exposure and stuff going on central park all the time, but the parade is usually a, it's usually a family kind of event. It's not like that normally. That's what I thought, but yeah. Everyone knows that you work with, with, with gators. Yeah. Crocs, you call them not cross, crocs. Yeah. I don't know the difference, but anyway. You also have in your zoo, you have two giant pythons. Yeah. These things are very dangerous. Are they not? Absolutely, they're the longest snake species. Do you ever give an answer that's like eh? (crowd laughs) Or is everything always like "Die, Conan!" Well how's this, mate? They eat people. I mean the reticulated python, longest snake species. Now, you're prepping me up now. Sorry. I was a little sluggish earlier, but this is good. Keep it going. The longest snake species in the world is the reticulated python, and they average killing and eating one person per year. So they're pretty exciting snakes. Right, right. Really exciting, these are the giant pythons of the world. And they constrict their pray, so they curl around you and squeeze the air right out of you. Okay, so what's the. Have you ever been in dire emergency or danger with one of these pythons? Yeah. Tell me. (crowd laughs) One got me. One got you? I'm trying to settle down, that not working? No, no, no. I don't want you to settle down. We need this pep. This is exactly what we need. Crank it back up again. How's this, how's this? Get some coffee into this guy. I can't drink coffee, mate. You on coffee would be yeah, insane. They could strap you to a rocket, and you'd go to the moon. Yeah. Oh, mate. Nonetheless, I'm working at the zoo. We've got this python, 24 feet in length. And there was no one else. It was really early in the morning. My dad was on a field trip. So I going with my pooper scooper. I see the poo in the back of the cage. What you have to cleaning? You have to, you have a pooper scooper, like could use for doggies on a giant Python. A big spoon, a big spoon pooper scooper, like a shovel. (crowd laughs) 'Cause a big snake, big poop. Yeah. So I go in to scoop the poop, and she goes from the, from the corner. Like this thing's got a six foot strike range, like bang! (whipping sounds) All the way around me. Now, luckily the pooper scooper arm and the pooper scooper which was, was stuck in here. And she fully just strangles me like right round. What a horrible way to die with a pooper scooper crushed up against your That's what I'm thinking. It would be the worst thing about it. Yeah, mate. Okay, so then you're in trouble. It's squeezing now. I'm dying. Cause every time I breathe out, she squeezes up a bit more and I'm like (inhales) getting shorter of breath, shorter of breath. So I thought, alright, I don't want to die with the pooper scooper. So I rolled out of the cage, and as I started to walk, the snake worked out two legged animal and constricted my feet. So now it's like little steps like this. And then, bang. I fall over, and now I'm really close to death. Right. Next thing I hear the gate rattle and it's my mom. She's going to work. And I'm like, "Mom, Mom!" And it's muffled. And she goes "Be right there, son. No big deal." Right, right, right. So she takes her time, opens the entrance. And then she's "I wonder where he is?" She goes to the reticulated python cage. Looks at the blood. 'Cause all his blood flows out from the teeth. They've got a lot of teeth. And follows the blood trail here, and I'm like (gasps) Like that trying to keep air coming in. Right. And she grabbed like the last part of this tail and peeled it off slowly. That's how you do it? You grab it by the tail? Yeah, yeah. How does that, how does that work? Well that's the locking device, you know? Their, mate, they're so strong, like incredibly strong. Like squeeze the living daylights. Until your eyes pop. They're strong. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And so the tail So your saying there's like literally a button at the tail that you just push and just goes looloo. Oh, no. (giggles) (crowd laughs) It says in case of emergency? No there's no ejection button Now you gotta to grab the tail. 'Cause that's what locks all the coils together and then peel it off. Your mom sounds like a real, I mean, my mother wouldn't be able to do that. You know? Yeah. Your mother went in there and unwrapped a giant python. It was killing And saved my life. And saved your life. Did she then like throw it against a wall and pick you up and run to the hospital? (giggles) No. (crowd laughs) No, that didn't happen? No, no. It makes a better story. Oh, it is! And then what happened? She ran you to the, wow incredible. Whoa. You've been bitten many times by these snakes. I have, yeah. And you actually, when they, when they, when a snake bites you, it's not just the venom that can hurt you. Is that right? I mean, the venom is very dangerous, but the, the teeth, I mean, they're very sharp. Well, with these pythons that we're talking about, they got a couple of hundred teeth and they're needle sharp. A couple of hundred? Yeah. Wow. Yeah. Like 50 top and bottom, both sides. Right, right. And they're really sharp, really long and recurved.