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  • You know we have a fantastic program tonight

  • some great people that are on.

  • [Andy] Excellent show.

  • We have...

  • [Andy] Before you go,

  • I'm sorry to monopolize the whole thing.

  • That's okay man,

  • we are just killing time and if you got something, go!

  • Well I just, I feel like I should introduce somebody

  • who's been here before.

  • She's in the audience tonight,

  • everybody it's my little sister Stacy.

  • (audience applause)

  • She's cute

  • Yeah

  • Hi there Stacy, it's really great to see you again.

  • Thanks a lot Conan it's awesome to see you again.

  • (audience laughter)

  • Yeah that reminds me,

  • Stacy wanted me to invite you over

  • to our family's house for Thanksgiving.

  • She still has a big crush on you.

  • (audience laughter)

  • Shut up Andy.

  • Stacy come on it's cute,

  • I mean she has been, the idea of you coming over,

  • she's been looking forward to it for weeks.

  • She's even been rehearsing like if you were to come over.

  • Actually I have some pictures.

  • Here she is, she's getting ready

  • to serve you some Thanksgiving pie.

  • (audience laughter)

  • The face, that's you on it.

  • [Conan] Aw that's so, she made that pie and that outfit,

  • that's great that's so sweet.

  • [Andy] She made a special float

  • for the Thanksgiving Day Parade.

  • (audience laughter)

  • [Andy] Yeah that's a lot of work.

  • That's amazing that kind of dedication, that's great.

  • And show them the doll Stacy.

  • No way Andy.

  • No come on, show them the doll, you brought it.

  • Okay fine, I made a little Conan.

  • (audience laughter)

  • Out of some Native American squash.

  • That's really cool, that's really neat.

  • And then, I took my own hair

  • and I dyed it with carrot juice

  • and I made your hair with it.

  • (audience laughter)

  • That is really beautiful thank you.

  • Yeah she's crazy about you.

  • Thanks a lot Andy,

  • now Conan thinks I'm like the Sultan of Dorkistan.

  • No, I don't think you're the Sultan of Dorkistan Stacy.

  • I think you're a wonderful young lady.

  • You're just saying that.

  • No I'm not, I mean it and I'm very flattered

  • that you did all that Thanksgiving stuff for me.

  • I think that's very cool, I'm touched by it.

  • You really mean that?

  • (audience laughter)

  • Well sure I mean that.

  • And believe me I would be there on Thursday

  • if I didn't already have other plans.

  • (audience empathizes)

  • No, no need to "aw".

  • (audience laughter)

  • You got other plans?

  • Well yeah, you know I promised my girlfriend's parents

  • that I would go to their house.

  • Aw that's nice, that's good, girlfriend, that's fun.

  • That's nice of them to invite you over to their house.

  • Well Stacy, they asked me months ago.

  • I would love to come to your house too.

  • I just wish I could be two places at once.

  • Aw that's cute, two places at once.

  • Well let me just get this straight,

  • the only way we could spend Thanksgiving together

  • would be if there was a breakdown

  • in the time space continuum.

  • Now Stacy don't get upset.

  • No you back off big brother!

  • (audience laughter)

  • Unless you want some of a five knuckle stuffing

  • shoved into that butterball head of yours.

  • (audience applause)

  • And you listen up Conan all right,

  • your words are cruel

  • and they feel like shrapnel

  • piercing my already broken heart.

  • But deep within my heart lies an army,

  • an elegant and fiercely brave infantry of hate.

  • (audience laughter)

  • And all though this army has rejection

  • buzzing by it's head like bullets

  • it will beat upon the drums of conquest with your bones.

  • Boom boom boom boom boom ta ta ta ta doom.

  • Charge, charge, charge, woo!

  • (audience applause)

  • Stacy I am so sorry, okay?

  • I didn't mean to upset you.

  • I am so sorry too Conan.

  • I guess my Thanksgiving spirit

  • morphed into a vengeful poltergeist.

  • (audience laughter)

  • No I can understand how that would happen Stacy.

  • Hey you know look maybe

  • we can get together next Thanksgiving.

  • That would be really nice.

  • Maybe she can make another crappy squash head doll.

  • (audience laughter)

  • All right you know what it's judgment day bitch.

  • (audience laughter)

  • [Conan] Stacy no! Stacy!

  • I love you. I love you. Please!

  • We're gonna take a break we'll be right back.

You know we have a fantastic program tonight

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Andy’s Little Sister Invites Conan To Thanksgiving Dinner - "Late Night With Conan O'Brien"

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    林宜悉 posted on 2020/11/29
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