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  • -Welcome, welcome, welcome to "The Tonight Show"!

  • [ Cheers and applause ]

  • Let me start by wishing everyone a very happy Thanksgiving! Yeah!

  • [ Cheers and applause ]

  • That's right. We made it through Thanksgiving,

  • and if your guests are still over, just remind them

  • they shouldn't have been there in the first place.

  • [ Laughter ]

  • This was a very different Thanksgiving.

  • We all had to worry about whether our lives were at stake.

  • In response, turkeys were like,

  • "Aw, that must've been so hard for you."

  • [ Laughter and applause ]

  • I spent the day watching a lot of Thanksgiving stuff on TV.

  • There was the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade

  • that we were in. That's right. [ Cheers and applause ]

  • "A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving."

  • And over on Netflix, my new favorite --

  • "The Queen's Giblet."

  • [ Laughter ]

  • Yeah, today was Thanksgiving.

  • It was a big day for that one serving tray

  • everyone owns that has the word "thankful" written on it.

  • [ Laughter ]

  • We had a small Thanksgiving this year 'cause, in New York,

  • anything more than four people,

  • Governor Cuomo shows up to your house with a Taser.

  • [ Laughter ]

  • There were some things I missed about

  • having my entire family over, like my aunt showing up

  • with a two-liter bottle of Chardonnay.

  • [ Slurred ] "It's from the register at Trader Joe's.

  • It's good stuff."

  • [ Normal voice ] I also missed when my uncle opens

  • his seventh beer and is like, "So, still telling

  • your little knock-knock jokes on the TV?!"

  • [ Laughter and applause ]

  • But I ended up having a nice day, right up until my kids

  • said that they were most thankful for Daddy

  • going back to the office.

  • [ Laughter ]

  • And this is interesting.

  • I read that because of smaller gatherings this year,

  • a lot of Americans also wanted smaller turkeys.

  • When they heard that, all the turkeys who went keto this month

  • were like, "Man, that really backfired, huh?"

  • [ Laughter ]

  • That's right. Smaller turkeys were hard to find.

  • Today, pigeons in New York were like,

  • "Why are you looking at me like that?"

  • [ Laughter ]

  • It was fun cooking the turkey this year.

  • People checked whether it was done

  • by using one of those forehead thermometers.

  • [ Laughter ]

  • Then, just to be safe, they gave the butt a quick nasal swab.

  • I mean, it's for fun. Come on. [ Laughter ]

  • Some people tried to be safe by eating outside.

  • However, it rained in a lot of the country today.

  • People were smart, so they rented tents.

  • When it got windy, they added walls,

  • and when they were finished, they realized

  • they were eating inside.

  • [ Laughter ]

  • Of course, a lot of people decided to celebrate over Zoom,

  • and now it's clear why nobody ever eats yam

  • six inches from a microphone.

  • [ Laughter ]

  • Meanwhile, I saw that the TSA allowed some Thanksgiving foods

  • to be brought through security.

  • Yep, nothing better on a long flight than sitting next to

  • a guy with three Tupperwares full of creamed onions.

  • [ Laughter ]

  • And finally, since today is Thanksgiving,

  • that means tomorrow is Black Friday.

  • And I saw that, because of the pandemic,

  • a lot of stores are offering deals online.

  • Of course, if you want to get

  • the full Black Friday experience,

  • just punch yourself in the face before you click "add to cart."

  • Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!

  • We have a great show for you tonight! Oh!

  • [ Cheers and applause ]

  • His new book, "Is This Anything?", is out now.

  • Jerry Seinfeld is my guest tonight.

  • [ Cheers and applause ]

  • Also, he was just nominated for two Grammys,

  • and he has a brand-new album coming out

  • we're gonna talk about tonight.

  • Bad Bunny is here!

  • [ Cheers and applause ]

  • We're talking to him, and he's performing later on in the show.

  • It's a very, very exciting day to do this.

-Welcome, welcome, welcome to "The Tonight Show"!

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Jimmy Fallon’s Thoughts on 2020's Untraditional Thanksgiving | The Tonight Show

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    林宜悉 posted on 2020/11/29
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