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  • >> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY, WELCOME BACK!

  • LET'S SAY HELLO TO JON BATISTE.

  • HELLO, JONPLEASE, SWALLOW YOUR PRIDE

  • >> Stephen: AND SWALLOW THOSE BISCUITS TOO.

  • HAVE YOU GOTTEN THE BISCUITS?

  • HAVE YOUR MOM AND DAD GOT THE BISCUITS IN LOSE?

  • >> Jon: WE GOT THE BISCUITS!

  • OH, MY GOODNESS!

  • I GOT MY SHM TODAY, AND I'M BAKING A LOT OF STUFF, BUT THE

  • BISCUIT IS KING.

  • >> Stephen: I DON'T KNOW WHAT THEY DO.

  • THEY USE SOME OF THAT SOUTHERN WITCHCRAFT IN THERE.

  • I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT IS.

  • IT'S THE SALT WATER.

  • I HOPE YOU HAVE A HAPPY THANKSGIVING.

  • PLEASE GIVE MY LOVE TO YOUR PARENTS.

  • >> Jon: YES, INDEED, MUCH LOVE.

  • THEY LOVED YOUR OBAMA INTERVIEW, SO MUCH MUTUAL RESPECT.

  • >> Stephen: TELL THEM TO CHECK OUT MONDAY.

  • WE HAVE ANOTHER 35-40 MINUTES ON MONDAY.

  • >> Jon: FOR SURE.

  • >> Stephen: HAPPY THANKSGIVING, STAY SAFE.

  • >> Jon: YOU, TOO, HAPPY THANKSGIVING TO EVIE AND THE

  • WHOLE FAMILY.

  • >> Stephen: JON BATISTE, EVERYBODY.

  • FOLKS, THE PRESIDENT MAY FINALLY BE ALLOWING THE PEACEFUL

  • TRANSITION OF POWER, BUT HE'S ALSO VOWED TO WIN HIS LEGAL

  • BATTLE TO OVERTURN THE ELECTION.

  • UNFORTUNATELY FOR HIM, THE PERSON IN CHARGE OF THAT LEGAL

  • FIGHT IS RUDY GIUILANI.

  • AND THIS HAS NOT EXACTLY BEEN RUDY'S MONTH.

  • FIRST, HE GOT CAUGHT IN THE "BORAT" SEQUEL DEMANDING ALL

  • RISE IN THE COURTROOM OF HIS PANTS.

  • THEN HE HELD A PRESS CONFERENCE AT A LANDSCAPING COMPANY NEXT TO

  • A PORN SHOP, FOLLOWED BY A LESS-THAN-STELLAR PERFORMANCE IN

  • COURT, WHERE, WHILE READING FROM THE COMPLAINT HE WAS FILING,

  • GIULIANI STOPPED TO SAY, "I'M NOT QUITE SURE I KNOW WHAT

  • "OPACITY" MEANS.

  • IT PROBABLY MEANS YOU CAN SEE, RIGHT?"

  • TO WHICH THE JUDGE SAID, "IT MEANS YOU CAN'T."

  • TO WHICH RUDY REPLIED, "BIG WORDS, YOUR HONOR."

  • OKAY, THEN I'LL USE SMALL ONES: WOW...

  • YOU...

  • SUCK...

  • AT...

  • LAW...

  • STUFF.

  • THEN, OF COURSE, THERE WAS HIS UNHINGED PRESS CONFERENCE LAST

  • WEEK, WHERE GIULIANI CITED "MY COUSIN VINNY" TO EXPLAIN THE

  • PRESIDENT'S LEGAL CHALLENGE, AND SPOUTED CONSPIRACY THEORIES

  • ABOUT U.S. VOTES BEING "COUNTED IN EUROPE BY A COMPANY OWNED BY

  • VENEZUELA'S SOCIALIST LEADERS," AND HOW BALLOTS COULD BE CAST BY

  • 'A DEAD PERSON' OR 'MICKEY MOUSE.'"

  • AND IF THAT WASN'T EMBARRASSING ENOUGH, HE DELIVERED THAT PRESS

  • CONFERENCE WITH STREAMS OF HAIR DYE DRIPPING DOWN HIS FACE.

  • SO THE ONLY EVIDENCE THAT RUDY HAS UNCOVERED IS THAT HE'S NOT A

  • NATURAL BRUNETTE.

  • AND AFTER ALL THAT, IT'S BEING REPORTED THAT THE PRESIDENT NOW

  • BELIEVES THAT RUDY AND HIS TEAM ARE "FOOLS THAT ARE MAKING HIM

  • LOOK BAD."

  • THAT'S NOT TRUE.

  • THEY ARE FOOLS WHO, BY COMPARISON, ARE MAKING HIM LOOK

  • PRETTY GOOD.

  • SO NOW THE PRESIDENT'S LAWYER IS IN THE MIDST OF A LEGAL FIGHT HE

  • CAN'T WIN ON BEHALF OF A CLIENT WHO NO LONGER TRUSTS HIM.

  • HERE TO TELL US WHAT THIS ALL MEANS IS THE PRESIDENT'S

  • PERSONAL LAWYER HIMSELF, RUDY GIULIANI.

  • MR. MAYOR?

  • MR. MAYOR?

  • THANK YOU FOR JOINING ME, NOW, THERE'S A LOT TO TALK

  • ABOUT, SIR.

  • >> HOLD ON!

  • STOP!

  • BEFORE WE START THE INTERVIEW, I HAVE TO ASK: ARE YOU A BORAT?

  • BECAUSE, LEGALLY, YOU HAVE TO TELL ME IF YOU'RE A BORAT!

  • >> Stephen: NO, MR. MAYOR, I AM NOT A BORAT.

  • >> GOOD.

  • LET ME TURN ON THE MICROPHONE I'VE HIDDEN IN MY PANTS.

  • HELLO?

  • HELLO?

  • CAN YOU HEAR ME?

  • >> Stephen: YES, I CAN HEAR YOU.

  • >> GOOD, THEN MY CROTCH IS WORKING.

  • >> Stephen: LET'S GET RIGHT TO IT, SIR: HAVE YOU LOST THE

  • PRESIDENT'S TRUST BY SPOUTING SO MANY UNFOUNDED CONSPIRACY

  • THEORIES?

  • >> I HAVEN'T LOST HIS TRUST!

  • IT WAS STOLEN!

  • JUST LIKE ALL THE VOTES THAT WERE STOLEN BY THE SOCIALISTS AT

  • EURO-DISNEY!

  • AND IT'S NOT JUST MICKEY MOUSE!

  • I HAVE A SIGNED AFFIDAVIT SWEARING THAT THERE WAS A SINGLE

  • DALMATIAN WHO VOTED 101 TIMES!

  • >> Stephen: BUT, SIR, SIR, ALL YOUR CLAIMS ABOUT VOTER FRAUD

  • HAVE BEEN DEBUNKED.

  • >> I'M NOT QUITE SURE WHAT "DEBUNK" MEANS.

  • IT PROBABLY MEANS IT'S "NOT" BUNK, RIGHT?

  • >> Stephen: NO.

  • IT MEANS THEY ARE BUNK.

  • >> BIG WORDS, STEPHEN!

  • NO LAWYER CAN UNDERSTAND THIS STUFF, NOT EVEN MY BRILLIANT

  • LEGAL PARTNER, ROBERT MONDAVI, ESQUIRE.

  • THANK YOU, COUNSEL.

  • >> Stephen: SPEAKING OF YOUR LEGAL PARTNERS, YOU EVEN FIRED

  • ONE OF THE ATTORNEYS FROM LAST WEEK'S PRESS CONFERENCE, SIDNEY

  • POWELL.

  • IS THERE ANYONE LEFT WHO IS HELPING YOU DEFEND THE

  • PRESIDENT?

  • >> OF COURSE.

  • WE'VE ALREADY REPLACED SIDNEY POWELL WITH AN EVEN BETTER

  • LAWYER: A YOUNG WOMAN NAMED ELLE WOODS WHO WENT TO HARVARD

  • LAW TO IMPRESS HER EX-BOYFRIEND.

  • >> Stephen: MR. MAYOR, I'M PRETTY SURE ELLE WOODS

  • IS REESE WITHERSPOON'S CHARACTER FROM "LEGALLY BLONDE."

  • YOU ALSO TALKED ABOUT "MY COUSIN VINNY."

  • ARE ALL YOUR LEGAL IDEAS JUST STOLEN FROM MOVIES?

  • >> STEPHEN, YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!

  • DID YOU KNOW THAT THE RIGGED VOTING MACHINES USED IN THIS

  • ELECTION WERE ACTUALLY ROBOTS SENT HERE FROM THE FUTURE?

  • IT'S ALL HERE IN MY LEGAL FILING: "T2: JUDGEMENT DAY."

  • SKYNET IS ON HUNTER BIDEN'S LAPTOP!

  • HASTA LA VISTA, BABY!

  • YOU KNOW WHO SAID THAT?

  • HUGO CHAVEZ!

  • >> Stephen: MR. MAYOR, YOUR LEGAL ARGUMENTS CLEARLY AREN'T

  • WORKING.

  • SO AREN'T THESE CONTINUED CLAIMS OF ELECTION FRAUD JUST WEAKENING

  • FAITH IN OUR DEMOCRACY?

  • >> SORRY, STEPHEN.

  • I COULDN'T HEAR YOU.

  • I WAS HAVING MY FIRST DRINK OF THE DAY.

  • >> Stephen: SIR, THAT I >> Stephen: SIR, THAT IS

  • CLEARLY NOT YOUR FIRST DRINK.

  • >> WELL, IF YOU'RE DISPUTING THE RESULTS, I DEMAND A RECOUNT!

  • ONE.

  • TWO.

  • THIS STATE IS GOING RED!

  • >> Stephen: MR. GIULIANI, YOU WERE ONCE A RESPECTED FIGURE IN

  • MORE THAN POLITICS AND LAW.

  • AREN'T YOU WORRIED ABOUT SACRIFICING YOUR REPUTATION FOR

  • A PRESIDENT WHO NOW SAYS YOU LOOK LIKE A FOOL?

  • >> A FOOL!

  • DOES THIS LOOK LIKE A FOOL I'M COOL, CALM, AND COHERENT.

  • I'M AMERICA'S MAYOR, BABY!

  • >> Stephen: SIR, DO YOU HAVE HAIR DYE ON YOUR FACE AGAIN?

  • >> LIES!

  • I DON'T USE HAIR DYE.

  • WHEN I HIT CAPACITY, MY BODY EXCRETES MERLOT.

  • IT'S NOT EMBARRASSING.

  • IT'S CONVENIENT!

  • HERE NOW.

  • I'M GETTING NOTES OF LEATHER AND BLACKBERRY.

  • >> Stephen: ISN'T THIS EXACTLY THE KIND OF BEHAVIOR THAT HAS

  • MADE THE PRESIDENT DISTANCE HIMSELF FROM YOU?

  • >> THE PRESIDENT HASN'T DISTANCED HIMSELF.

  • HE'S BEING DRAGGED AWAY FROM ME INTO THE ETHEREAL REALM BY THE

  • GHOSTS OF DEAD VOTERS FROM PENNSYLVANIA.

  • I'M COMING, MR. PRESIDENT!

  • >> Stephen: RUDY GIULIANI, EVERYBODY!

>> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY, WELCOME BACK!

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B1 stephen legal rudy jon president giuliani

Rudy Giuliani Vows To Continue His Legal Failures On Behalf Of The President

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    林宜悉 posted on 2020/11/29
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