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  • -Welcome, everybody.

  • Thank you. Thank you. Thank you so much.

  • Welcome to "The Tonight Show."

  • Let's get to the news and some jokes here.

  • Well, guys, the Trump campaign's efforts to flip the election

  • in court are not going well.

  • Out of more than 30 lawsuits,

  • at least 24 have already been dismissed.

  • And this weekend, even Chris Christie jumped ship.

  • Listen to what he said.

  • -If you've got the evidence of fraud, present it.

  • And what's happened here is, quite frankly,

  • the conduct of the president's legal team

  • has been a national embarrassment.

  • -Yep, Chris Christie called Trump's legal team

  • "a national embarrassment."

  • Meanwhile, people in foreign countries were like,

  • "Actually, it's embarrassing here, too."

  • When Trump heard what Christie said, he was like,

  • "You know what?

  • Ever since I gave you COVID,

  • you've been a real pain in the butt."

  • Of course, Trump's not happy with his legal team.

  • He just removed one lawyer

  • who was spreading some pretty crazy conspiracy theories.

  • Watch this.

  • -The Trump campaign's trying to distance itself

  • from controversial attorney Sidney Powell.

  • Powell is among those pushing a convoluted conspiracy theory

  • claiming an international plot involving, in part,

  • a dead dictator led to stolen votes.

  • -Yeah. She got kicked off Trump's legal team

  • for being too crazy.

  • That's like getting kicked off of "Real Housewives"

  • for being too crazy.

  • Seriously, you know how nuts you have to be when

  • Rudy Giuliani's head starts leaking,

  • and you're the one who gets fired?

  • For anyone asking what's more embarrassing than

  • being on the Trump legal team, the answer is

  • getting fired from the Trump legal team.

  • It's not easy to fire a conspiracy theorist either.

  • I mean, when you say, "We have to let you go,"

  • they're like, "Right.

  • I get it.

  • I'll just go then.

  • I'll 'clean out my office.'"

  • That's right -- Sidney Powell is out after she said

  • the election was stolen by Venezuelan dictator Hugo Chávez,

  • who died seven years ago.

  • Yep, her conspiracy theories were too much even for Trump.

  • Well, today, she wrote a farewell e-mail.

  • It said...

  • I don't know.

  • Meanwhile, I saw that, today, First Lady Melania Trump

  • received The White House Christmas tree.

  • Here's a photo.

  • With a big, warm smile,

  • Melania accepted the tree and said...

  • There you go.

  • Meanwhile, Sidney Powell was like,

  • "Don't let that tree inside.

  • It's a Venezuelan transmitter."

  • Speaking of the holidays, Thanksgiving is almost here,

  • and a lot of people are traveling, believe it or not,

  • despite the risks.

  • Watch this.

  • -On Thursday, the CDC recommended against traveling

  • and gathering for Thanksgiving.

  • -And, according to TSA, over the past three days,

  • more than 3 million people packed the nation's airports,

  • ignoring the CDC's advice.

  • -What are people doing?

  • 3 million Americans are going to show up for Thanksgiving like,

  • "I brought some yams or maybe the plague."

  • If you're going to travel this week,

  • at least do the decent thing by sealing yourself in a box

  • and letting FedEx ship you home.

  • It can't be comforting when you're at a crowded airport

  • watching CNN talk about how dumb it is to be at an airport.

  • You know it's a bad idea when even

  • airport sushi thinks you're disgusting.

  • And that's not all.

  • The CDC is also warning against traveling on cruise ships.

  • They just raised the risk level to Level 4,

  • which is as high as it goes.

  • To put that into perspective, after it hit the iceberg,

  • the Titanic was at Level 3.

  • Even people who flew this weekend are like,

  • "Those cruise guys are idiots."

  • And interesting -- a recent poll found that

  • nearly 60% of Americans would get a coronavirus vaccine.

  • It's pretty interesting poll. Take a look at this.

  • 60% said...

  • 30% said...

  • 10% said...

  • 40% said...

  • 15% said...

  • 82% said...

  • 40% said...

  • 73% said...

  • 24% said...

  • 80% said...

  • 40% said...

  • Finally, 40% said...

  • And that, of course, is the latest installment

  • of our segment "Interesting Polls."

  • ♪♪

  • Hey, this is nice here at 30 Rock.

  • The skating rink is now open,

  • but you've got to wear a mask,

  • and your time on the ice is limited to 50 minutes.

  • There aren't a lot of tourists in New York City right now.

  • This morning, it was just a hot-dog guy and cabby

  • doing a three-minute pairs program to "Endless Love."

  • Yeah, this raised an interesting question.

  • If the rink is open but no one's there

  • to watch tourists fall down, is it really open?

  • Here's some business news.

  • I saw that Guitar Center just filed for bankruptcy.

  • Today, Guitar Center thanked their employees

  • and all the liars who said they spent quarantine

  • learning a new instrument.

  • This is actually a pretty big deal,

  • 'cause now if Brookstone closes,

  • we're going to be out of places

  • where you can kill 45 minutes without buying anything.

  • Here's a local story.

  • Over the weekend, the police busted

  • a big gathering in Queens.

  • Check out what it was.

  • -In Queens, police broke up a private swingers party.

  • Officers responded to Club Caligula

  • on 20th Avenue in Astoria

  • shortly after midnight yesterday.

  • At least 80 people were inside the club.

  • -Now we know what "King of Queens"

  • would have been like if it aired on Cinemax.

  • It was a crazy scene.

  • One officer walked in and yelled, "Freeze!",

  • while another yelled, "Cheryl?!"

  • And, finally, in Canada,

  • officials had to put up road signs warning drivers

  • not to let the moose lick their cars.

  • This is real. Look at this.

  • It was weird for drivers who only saw

  • the second part of that message.

  • They're like, "Lick my car? Okay."

  • Yeah, apparently, it's been a tough time for the moose

  • since officials broke up their underground swingers club.

  • Hey, everyone. It is Monday. We're so excited to be back.

  • We have an amazing week of shows ahead.

  • Melissa McCarthy will be here!

  • [ Cheers and applause ]

  • The original cast of "Saved by the Bell"

  • will be on the show!

  • [ Cheers and applause ]

  • We're going to have a performance from Sheryl Crow!

  • [ Cheers and applause ]

  • And be sure to stay right here Thursday night after the game.

  • We have a big Thanksgiving show.

  • Jerry Seinfeld will be our guest!

  • [ Cheers and applause ]

  • We'll talk about his new book,

  • and we got something fun planned with him.

  • Plus, Bad Bunny will be here

  • to talk, perform, and more.

  • So tune in Thanksgiving night. Set your DVRs.

  • Set your Betamax machine.

  • Set your TiVos, your DiVos, everything you got, man.

  • Set it all up, because you're not going to want to miss

  • this week especially.

  • But, first, we have a great show for you tonight.

  • She stars in the new animated movie

  • "The Croods: A New Age."

  • Emma Stone is here! Stoney! [ Cheers and applause ]

  • Plus, he directed the new HBO Max film

  • "Superintelligence."

  • The very funny Ben Falcone is on the show.

  • [ Cheers and applause ]

  • And we have a performance from Josh Groban!

  • [ Cheers and applause ]

-Welcome, everybody.

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Trump Fires His Lawyer for Wild Conspiracy Theory Claims | The Tonight Show

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    林宜悉 posted on 2020/11/24
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