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  • ♪ >> James: GOOD EVENING,

  • WELCOME TO THE "LATE, LATE SHOW."

  • IAN, YOU ARE NOT, YOU ARE NOT INTO THAT SRART OF THE SHOW.

  • YOU WERE NOT INTO THE START OF THE SHOW THERE IN ANYWAY.

  • >> I'M SORRY, THERE WAS BREAKING NEWS SO I WAS TRYING TO FIGURE

  • OUT IF SHE FOOD FINNING A EL IT INTO THE MONOLOGUE.

  • >> James: WHAT HAPPENED, TELL US THE NEWS SHOULD WE FINAGLE IF

  • IN.

  • >> THE GSA SETTER SPHIED MICHIGAN SO THE BIDEN TRANSITION

  • TEAM CAN START TRANSITIONING.

  • >> James: LOOK AT THAT.

  • I CAN'T BELIEVE IT, WHAT, WHAT IS GOING ON.

  • >> James: NEVER LET IT BE SAID WE ARE NOT AT THE FOREFRONT OF

  • BREAKING NEWS, BABY.

  • >> THE BLEEDING EDGE AND IF THIS IS GOOD ENOUGH I DON'T HAVE TO

  • GO WRITE JOKES ABOUT IT.

  • >> James: I FEEL LIKE WE HAVE COVERED IT.

  • I FEEL LIKE IT IS AS FUNNY AS ANYTHING WE NORMALLY DO ON THE

  • SHOW.

  • BUT LOOK AT, THAT RIGHT ON THE FOREFRONT, WE HAVE JUST GIVEN

  • YOU BREAKING NEWS YOU ALREADY HEARD ABOUT.

  • SEVEN HOURS AGO.

  • >> FRESH.

  • >> James: BUT STICK AROUND CUZ THERE IS A GOOD SHOW FOR YOU.

  • TONIGHT WHAT A LINE-UP.

  • TONIGHT WE'LL BE JOINED BY THE INCREDIBLE MICHAEL J FOX IS

  • GOING TO BE ON THE SHOW TONIGHT, ON TOP OF ALL THAT, AND THIS IS

  • EXCITING, BTS WILL BE PERFORMING THEIR NEW SONG, LIFE GOES ON,

  • TONIGHT.

  • MICHAEL J FOX, BTS, LIKE IT'S, THIS IS HUGE FOR ME.

  • WHERE WERE YOU, DO YOU REMEMBER HOW YOU FELT WHEN YOU WATCHED

  • BACK TO THE FUTURE FOR THE FIRST TIME.

  • >> Reggie: OH MY LORD, YEAH, I WAS LIKE THE PERFECT AGE FOR IT

  • IT BLW MY MIND, I LOVE TIME TRAVEL ALREADY BUT THAT WAS

  • JUST-- .

  • >> James: WHAT WOULD YOU DO, WHERE WOULD YOU GO BACK TO IF

  • YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, LIKE WHERE WOULD YOU GONESS WITH

  • MAYBE LIKE 1977, NEW YORK CITY, LONDON.

  • >> James: THAT WHOLE VIBE.

  • >> YEAH.

  • >> James: IAN, WOULD YOU RATHER GO BACK TO THE FUTURE OR

  • FORWARD TO THE FUTURE.

  • >> I WOULD GO BACK BUT NOT LIKE SUPERFAR, I WOULD GO TO LIKE

  • 1996.

  • >> James: WHY, WHAT HAPPENED IN '96.

  • >> I THINK THAT IS WHEN AMERICA PEAKED.

  • I THINK THAT IS WHEN WE PEAK PEAKED T IS NEVER GETTING

  • BETTER, SEINFELD, MICHAEL JORD ARCH, WE THOUGHT SNAP EL WAS

  • HEALTHY-- SNAP EL.

  • >> James: ARE YOU ABSOLUTELY WRITE ABOUT SNAPPLE.

  • WE ALL THOUGHT IT WAS A HEALTH DRINK.

  • >> SKIP THE SODA AND THEN JUST DRINK JUST SUGAR.

  • >> James: BUT LET'S GET INTO SOME HEADLINE, PRESIDENT TRUMP'S

  • LEGAL TEAM IS STILL FIGHTING THE ELECTION RESULTS BUT THEY APPEAR

  • TO BE LOSING SUPPORT AMONG REPUBLICANS.

  • IN FACT WHEN FORMER REPUBLICAN GOVERNOR CHRIS CHRISTIE WAS

  • ASKED ABOUT IT THIS WEEKEND HE DID NOT MINCE HIS WORDS.

  • >> IS IT FINALLY TIME FOR THIS TO END?

  • >> YES, AND WHAT HAS HAPPENED HERE IS QUITE FRANKLY THE

  • PRESIDENT'S LEGAL TEAM HAS BEEN A NATIONAL EMBARRASSED.

  • >> James: AS OPPOSED TO THE LAST FOUR YEARS WHICH HAD REALLY

  • GONE OFF WITHOUT A HITCH, YOU KNOW.

  • I WILL SAY, I DO THINK CHRIS CHRISTIE IS WRONG ABOUT THIS

  • BEING A NATIONAL EMBARRASSMENT, I REALLY, REALLY DO.

  • I TALK TO A LOT OF FRIENDS OF MINE AND FAMILY BACK HOME, AND I

  • CAN TELL YOU IF ANYTHING, THIS IS AN INTERNATIONAL

  • EMBARRASSMENT.

  • I THOUGHT THAT WAS FUNNIER, I THINK THAT WAS MY DELIVERY, I

  • DIDN'T TAKE THE BREATHE.

  • BLEEP WHREEP SHOULD I HEAR IT AGAIN OR PLOW ON.

  • >> I THINK YOU RUN IT BACK AND PUT ALL THE SAUCE ON IT.

  • >> Reggie: YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT.

  • >> James: WE'RE GOING TO RUN IT BECOME AND PUT ALL OF THE

  • SAUCE ON IT.

  • I WILL SAY THOUGH, CHRIS CHRISTIE IS WRONG ABOUT THIS

  • BEING A NATIONAL EMBARRASSMENT THOUGH, HE IS, YOU KNOW, I TALK

  • TO A LOT OF PEOPLE BACK HOME, IF ANYTHING, THIS IS MORE OF AN

  • INTERNATIONAL EMBARRASSMENT.

  • (LAUGHTER) AND YESTERDAY ONE OF TRUMP'S

  • LAWYERS SIDNEY POWELL WAS FIRED FOR PROMOTING A CONSPIRACY

  • THEORY THAT WAS TOO WILD EVEN FOR TRUMP.

  • APPARENTLY SHE MADE BASELESS CLAIMS THAT REPUBLICAN OFFICIALS

  • HAD BEEN INVOLVED IN A PAYOFF SCHEME TO MANIPULATE VOTING

  • MACHINES.

  • HERE'S HOW BIG OF AN EMBARRASSMENT SHE WAS TO THE

  • TRUMP TEAM.

  • THE GUY WHO HELD A PRESS CONFERENCE NEXT TO A SEX SHOP,

  • AND LAST WEEK HAD HAIR DYE RUNNING DOWN HIS FACE AND WHO

  • WEARS LOAFERS THAT LOOK LIKE CLOWN SHOES, THAT GUY, STILL ON

  • THE TEAM.

  • BUT I SAW THIS COMING.

  • I DID.

  • ANY GOOD CONSPIRACY THEORIST WOULD TELL YOU IF YOU REARRANGE

  • THE LETTERS IN SIDNEY POWELL, YOU GET NEEDY PILLOWS WHICH IS

  • OBVIOUSLY A NOD TO THE MY PILLOW C.E.O. WHO INVENTED CORONAVIRUS

  • TO DE STABILIZE THE NECK SUPPORT INDUSTRY.

  • (LAUGHTER).

  • >> James: I GOT TO BE HONEST, I SPENT A LOT OF TIME ON THE

  • INTERNET THIS WEEKEND.

  • AND WHILE IT'S STILL NOT CLEAR WHETHER TRUMP WILL EVER CONCEDE

  • THE ELECTION TO JOE BIDEN, TWITTER HAS WEIGHED IN AND

  • ANNOUNCE THEY WILL AUTOMATICALLY TRANSFER THE POTUS ACCOUNT TO

  • BIDEN ON INAUGURATION DAY.

  • BUT THAT CAN'T STOP TRUMP FROM CHANGING THE PASSWORD AT THE

  • LAST SECOND TO BIDEN SUX69.

  • I MEAN TRUMP MOSTLY TWEETS FROM HIS PERSONAL ACCOUNT ANYWAY.

  • HE ONLY USES THE POTUS ACCOUNT FOR IMPORTANT PRESIDENTIAL

  • BUSINESS LIKE RETWEETING EVERYTHING FROM HIS PERSONAL

  • ACCOUNT.

  • MEAN WHALE TRUMP IS STAYING PRETTY MUCH OUT OF THE SPOTLIGHT

  • WHICH IS NOT SOMETHING HE TYPICALLY DOES.

  • IN FACT TRUMP AVERAGED ABOUT 48 MINUTES ON CAMERA EVERY DAY IN

  • 2020, BUT HAS ONLY SPENT ROUGHLY 50 MINUTES TOTAL ON CAMERA SINCE

  • THE ELECTION.

  • I'M SURE THE PRESIDENT, HE IS BUSY, PUTTING THE FINISHING

  • TOUCHES TO HIS DETAILED PLAN FOR THE PANDEMIC.

  • HE WANTS IT TO BE PERFECT.

  • YOU KNOW WHAT I THINK HE IS DOING, HONESTLY, BINGE WATCHING

  • THE CROWN, I THINK IS HE IN THE WHITE HOUSE RIGHT NOW GOING I

  • LOVE DINAH, PERFECT TEN.

  • YOU SEE HER ON ROLLER SKATES, WOW.

  • WHAT ARE YOU WEARING FOR TONIGHT'S SHOW?

  • YOU LOOK LIKE THIS SHOW IS AN INCONVENIENCE TO YOU ON THE WAY

  • TO THE FARMER'S MARKET.

  • (LAUGHTER) WHAT IS HAPPENING HERE?

  • WHAT, WHAT IS HAPPENING?

  • LIKE-- HANG ON, JUST TALK ME THROUGH IT, WHAT'S HAPPENING?

  • >> I COMPLETELY FORGOT TO GET DRESSED FOR THE SHOW.

  • RIGHT BEFORE WE STARTED I SAID HEY MAN, ARE YOU GOING TO WEAR

  • THAT JACKET.

  • >> James: SO WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

  • I WERE HERE AND THEN THEY WENT OH, THE SHOW STARTING AND WERE

  • YOU LIKE OH, WELL, I'LL GO WITH IT, I'M GOING TO GO WITH THIS

  • WHOLE DAD ON THE-- LINE ON A MIDDLE LEAGUE GAME.

  • >> YEAH, THAT IS WHAT HAPPENED.

  • >> James: WELL, GOOD FOR YOU, GOOD FOR YOU.

  • MEANWHILE PRESIDENT-ELECT BIDEN IS MOVING FORWARD WITH HIS

  • TRANSITION INTO THE NEW ADMINISTRATION AND HAS ALREADY

  • BEGUN TO NAME CABINET MEMBERS.

  • TODAY HE ANNOUNCED HE WILL BE NOMINATING HIS LONGTIME FOREIGN

  • POLICY AIDE ANTHONY BLINKEN AS SECRETARY OF STATE.

  • THIS IS THE RETURN TO NORMALCY WE NEED, A REGULAR BORING GUY

  • WHOSE NAME I CAN BARELY PRONOUNCE.

  • YOU KNOW?

  • HERE'S ANTHONY BLINKEN HERE, LOOK AT THAT.

  • IF NOTHING ELSE, NOW WE AT LEAST KNOW WHAT JACH BRAFF IS GOING TO

  • LOOK LIKE IN 15 YEARS TIME.

  • I LIKE SEEING THIS.

  • I DO.

  • FINALLY A MEMBER OF THE CABINET WHO DOESN'T LOOK LIKE THE VILAN

  • IN AN '80S KIDS MOVIE.

  • YOU KNOW, INSTEAD HE LOOKS LIKE A GUY WHO HAS GOT ONE LINE IN AN

  • EARLY 2,000 POLITICAL DRAMA.

  • SIR, IT'S TIME TO GO.

  • AND DID YOU GUYS SEE THIS, THIS MORNING, SEVERAL NBA PLAYERS HAD

  • AN UNPRECEDENTED MEETING WITH POPE FRANCIS TO DISCUSS SOCIAL

  • JUSTICE ISSUES.

  • I MEAN THIS FEELS LIKE THAT EPISODE OF SCOOBY DOO WHERE HE

  • HAD THEY HAD THE HARLEM GLOBE TROARTS, ARE YOU LIKE THIS IS AN

  • UNEXPECTEDDED COMBO BUT I'M DOWN TO SEE WHERE IT GOES.

  • THE NBA PLAYERS APPARENTLY DISCUSSED AMERICAN SOCIAL ISSUES

  • WITH THE POPE.

  • SOMEONE WHO DOESN'T LIVE IN THE UNITED STATES AND CAN'T REALLY

  • DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT.

  • SO I THINK IT IS STARTING TO SEEMIC LOO THE POPE JUST WANTED

  • TO MEET SOME NBA PLAYERS.

  • LIKE I NEVER SAW THIS, DID YOU HAVE THE POPE DOWN AS A

  • BASKETBALL FAN, IAN?

  • >> I DON'T KNOW, I'M PRETTY JEWISH SO I DON'T HAVE A LOT OF

  • OPINIONS ON THE POPE IN GENERAL.

  • >> BUT YOU SEE-- WHAT IS HIS TEAM, WHO IS THE POPE GOING TO

  • SUPPORT?

  • >> UTAH JAZZ?

  • WITH.

  • >> YEAH?

  • I KNOW WHO HE HIS NFL TEAM IS.

  • >> WHO IS THAT.

  • >> James: CARDINALS.

  • >> COME ON.

  • OFF THE TOP OF THE DOME, OFF THE TOP OF THE DOME I DON'T EVEN

  • FOLLOW FOOTBALLK I ONLY KNOW ABOUT THE CARDINALS BECAUSE OF

  • JERRY MAGUIRE WITH.

  • >> WHAT HAPPENS WHEN THE CARDINALS PLAY THE SAINTS.

  • >> >> James: I DON'T KNOW, WHAT

  • DOES HAPPEN WHEN THE CARDINALS PLAY THE SAINTS.

  • >> IT IS PROBABLY A NARROW CARDINALS WIN, YOU KNOW, LIKE A

  • 24-21 SITUATION.

  • COULD GO THE OTHER WAY TOO THOUGH.

  • >> James: HARD TO KNOW.

  • BUT THEY, THIS IS TRUE, THE POPE, THE PUMP, THE POPE AND THE

  • NBA PLAYERS EVEN PLAYED A PICKUP GAME AND THE POPE WAS INCREDIBLE

  • ON DEFENSE THANKS TO HIS BRAND NEW HAT.

  • AND WE WANTED TO SHOW YOU THIS.

  • A BELGIAN CITY IS GETTING A LOT OF ATTENTION FOR THEIR CHRISTMAS

  • DECORATIONS BECAUSE THEIR LIGHTS LOOK LIKE, WELL, SEE FOR

  • YOURSELF I MEAN LOOK, WE'RE ALL EXCITED ABOUT THE HOLIDAY.

  • WE NEVER DISAPPOINTMENT WE LOVE A GOOD PENIS STORY AT THE "LATE,

  • LATE SHOW," THAT IS A FACT.

  • IF THERE IS ANYTHING OUT THERE THAT VAGUELY LOOKS LIKES A

  • PENIS, WE WILL FIND IT, WE'LL TALK ABOUT IT.

  • >> THAT'S OUR LANE, SORRY, SORRY JON OLIVER, IF YOU WANT A PENIS

  • JOKE.

  • >> YEAH, WE'RE NOT AS GOOD AS REALLY DECENT A HUGE PIECE OF

  • SOCIAL INJUSTICE PENIS STORIES, WE ARE OUT IN FRONT.

  • >> WE'LL TAKE A CLOSER LOOK, ALL RIGHT.

  • >> OH.

  • >> 100 PERCENT.

  • CAN WE SEE THE PHOTO AGAIN?

  • I MEAN LOOK IT'S NOT EVEN THANKSGIVING YET, LIKE THAT IS A

  • CLASSIC CASE OF PREMATURE DECORATION.

  • I MEAN THESE DECORATIONS GIVE A WHOLE NEW MEANING TO THE PHRASE

  • BLOWOUT THE CANDLES.

  • AND FINALLY IF YOU THINK YOU'RE IN THE GUTTER NOW, YOU'RE NOT,

  • YOU'RE NOT, I KNOW YOU THOUGHT THAT WAS AS LOW AS WE COULD

  • SCRAPE, IT IS NOT.

  • WE GOT SOMEWHERE ELSE TO GO, BABY.

  • BECAUSE FINALLY AN ONLINE FOOD DELIVERY SERVICE RELEASED AN

  • ADVERTISEMENT WITH A RATHER EMBARRASSING PUNKATION ERA

  • PROMOTING A RON DONE RESTAURANT NAMED ANU'S KITCHEN.

  • AND THEY LEFT OUT A CRUCIAL APOSTROPHE AND THEY SPELT IT

  • LIKE THIS.

  • (LAUGHTER) AND ON THE ONE HAND IT IS CALLED

  • ANUS KITCHEN, ON THER HAND 15% OFF.

  • I MEAN BASED ON THE NAME, THIS SOUNDS LIKE A RESTAURANT THAT IS

  • ONLY OPEN ON BIRTHDAYS AND WEDDING ANNIVERSARIES.

  • THEY HAD ENOUGH TROUBLE WITH THEIR NAME, EVEN WORSE, THESE

  • ARE THE HOLIDAY DECORATIONS OUT FRONT.

♪ >> James: GOOD EVENING,

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Trump's Legal Team Is Getting Too Crazy for Trump

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    林宜悉 posted on 2020/11/24
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