I'm here with BuzzFeed,

and today we are going to read some, aah, thirst tweets.

I had to ask what a thirst tweet was.

The fact that there's any tweets like this on the internet.

Nice to know that people are thinking about you.

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Hey BuzzFeed Celeb,

please let Max Greenfield read thirst tweets,

so he knows that all of my dreams consist only

of him feeding me jelly beans, thanks.

It's all right, feels pretty kid-friendly, so far so good.

Max Greenfield's smile clears my skin, improves my mood

and raises my GPA.

These are all very good for my self-esteem.

I'm having a good day reading these.

If I could meet a guy like Leo D'Amato,

I would absolutely decide to settle down

and become, as the kids say, a wifey.

Okay.

Max Greenfield's jaw line is a gift from God literally.

Well, it depends on, you know,

what your spiritual preferences and how you view the world

but it's really all a gift from God, truly,

not just my jaw line, everyone's jaw line.

When will we be recognizing Max Greenfield

as the white boy of the year?

Appreciate it.

I play the white boy of the year on The Neighborhood.

I would pet Max Greenfield's head all day, if you let me.

I don't know about all day.

Max Greenfield's smile is a deadly weapon.

All right.

Watching New Girl wondering when I'll get a sexy

Jewish boyfriend like Schmidt.

Well, I think a lot of people are wondering that.

Maybe, I don't know.

Max Greenfield's thighs appreciation post.

Well, that one makes me feel good.

I do a lot of squats, I work a lot on my legs.

Not a lot of upper body stuff.

I wanna lick Max Greenfield, head to toe.

Eh, I guarantee you don't.

I don't know how to describe the fact

that Max Greenfield played young Sandy Cohen on The O.C.

any other way than as the horniest casting choice

of all time, like, wow, what a gift.

Horny is an underused word.

Losing sleep, fantasizing about how Schmidt

from New Girl would be handling this bussy?

Is that right?

Oh, right on.

I just found out what a bussy is,

and aah, really appreciate it.

I'm honored.

I feel like this is a safe space,

so I need to have a threesome with Nick Miller and Schmidt.

Whew, there, I said it and I feel better.

It's gonna be a tough to tell for Jake Johnson.

Can Max Greenfield murder my bussy, please.

Murder's a strong word.

Veronica Mars should have at least sat

on Leo's face one last time, just one girl's opinion.

Well look, I don't write the shows.

BuzzFeed, I just want to say thank you

for compiling, um, all of these thirsty tweets about me.

Um, It's something I would not have done on my own.

So I appreciate the experience.

And a lot of them were just compliments,

except for the stuff about the bussy.

What a day this was.

I'll never forget it.

Please check out The Neighborhood, Mondays,

at 8:00 PM on CBS.

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