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  • WELCOME TO

  • "THE LATE LATE SHOW."

  • HOPE YOU HAD A WONDERFUL DAY.

  • THANK YOU FOR STAYING UP LATE WITH US TONIGHT.

  • WE HAVE A FUN SHOW, WE WILL BE SPEAKING WITH THE ALWAYS

  • BRILLIANT ALISON BRIE AND THEN WITH BEST SELLING AUTHOR AND

  • PHILOSOPHER YEW VAL NOAH HARARI.

  • NOT OFTEN WE HAVE A PHILOSOPHER ON THE SHOW.

  • >> Reggie: I'M IN LOVE WITH HIM, I WILL TELL YOU.

  • >> James: HE IS SUCH A GREAT DUDE.

  • >> Reggie: THE COOLEST.

  • >> James: HE CAME ON RIGHT AT THE START OF THE PANDEMIC, MADE

  • US ALL FEEL A BIT LIKE-- HOW DO YOU BECOME A PHILOSOPHER?

  • LIKE HOW DOES THAT HAPPEN, YOU NEVER SEE LIKE AN AD IN THE BACK

  • OF A PAPER LIKE PHILOSOPHER NEEDED.

  • 22 TO $35,000 A YEAR.

  • LIKE DO YOU JUST SPEND A LOT OF THE DAY SAYING SOMETHING, PEOPLE

  • GOING, IT'S ACTUALLY PRETTY SMART, YOU SHOULD-- .

  • >> Reggie: YEAH.

  • >> James: YOU SHOULD DO THIS FOR A LIVING.

  • I DON'T KNOW.

  • >> IS IT A THING?

  • >> A LOT OF COMPANIES NEED PHILOSOPHER, LIKE BOEING, WE

  • BUILT THE PLANE, THEY'RE LIKE BUT DID YOU.

  • >> James: IS THAT IT?

  • THAT IS WHAT YOU CONSIDER PHILOSOPHY TODAY?

  • >> THAT'S RIGHT.

  • >> James: WITH YOU DO I.

  • HMMMM.

  • >> DO I CONSIDER THAT TO BE PHILOSOPHY.

  • >> James: I WONDER IF THAT WOULD BE A GOOD THING FOR ME

  • WHEN ALL OF THIS IS DONE.

  • >> Reggie: YES.

  • >> TO.

  • >> James: HOW CAN YOU ANSWER SO FAST.

  • >> I LOVE YOU.

  • >> James: I THINK THAT WOULD BE ALL RIGHT, IF I CHANGE MY

  • HAIR.

  • THIS IS NOT A PHILOSOPHER'S HAIRCUT.

  • >> Reggie: NO, IT IS NOT.

  • >> James: YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.

  • THIS IS THE HAIRCUT OF SORT OF A 14 YEAR OLD WHO'S ON THE

  • SIDELINES OF THE SOCCER TEAM.

  • >> BUT IT BEGS THE QUESTION, IT BEGS THE QUESTION, WHY ARE WE

  • GIVING ORANGE SLICES.

  • >> James: AGAIN, I THINK IT IS OUT OF YOUR REACH BUT I DO FEEL

  • LIKE-- I DO THINK I MIGHT BE ABLE TO DO IT, YOU KNOW.

  • >> Reggie: YEAH.

  • >> James: MAYBE I REALLY COMMIT TO IT.

  • BECAUSE ALSO WHO CAN PROVE YOU WRONG, WHAT DO YOU DO FOR A

  • PHILOSOPHER, ARE YOUS.

  • WELL, EXACTLY.

  • ARE ANY OF US.

  • ANYWAY, FANCY A DRINK.

  • LET'S GET INTO SOME NEWS.

  • PRESIDENT TRUMP IS STILL LASHING OUT AT ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING

  • RELATED TO THE ELECTION.

  • YESTERDAY HE EVEN FIRED A TOP CYBERSECURITY CHIEF CHRIS KREBS

  • FOR CALLING THE ELECTION QUOTE THE MOST SECURE IN AMERICAN

  • HISTORY.

  • UNFORTUNATE LEIGH THIS PRESIDENT IS THE LEAST SECURE IN AMERICAN

  • HISTORY.

  • YEAH.

  • JUST WITNESSED A TAKEDOWN.

  • YOU NEVER RECOVER FROM THAT NOW.

  • THAT'S RIGHT.

  • TRUMP SAID THAT CHRIS KREBS STATEMENT WAS HIGHLY INACCURATE

  • AND I HAVE TO SAY GENUINELY CHRIS KREBS DIDN'T DESERVE TO BE

  • FIRED.

  • CHRIS REBS DID HIS JOB AND CHRIS KREBS IS BEING TREATED

  • UNFAIRLY, I LOVE SAYING CHRIS KREBS.

  • IT IS NOT A JOKE, I JUST REALLY LOVE SAYING CHRIS KREBS, WHAT A

  • GREAT NAME, CHRIS KREBS.

  • HEY, CHRIS KREBS, HOW ARE YOU DOING.

  • >> THAT GUY NEVER SAYS HEY, I'M CHRIS, THAT IS A FULL NAME EVERY

  • TIME.

  • >> James: CHRIS KREBS.

  • SOUNDS LAKE A GAME YOU PLAY IN A YARD AT SCHOOL, WANT TO PLAY

  • CHRIS KREBS.

  • CAN'T, I HURT MY ANKLE PLAYING CHRIS KREBS YESTERDAY.

  • ST HARD TO KNOW WHO TO TRUST HERE, CHRIS KREBS, CHRIS KREBS,

  • I LOVE THAT, THAT BAND CHRIS KREBS.

  • >> Reggie: AMAZING.

  • >> James: USED TO WEAR THEIR CLOTHES BACKWARDS, DO YOU

  • REMEMBER.

  • >> Reggie: I DO REMEMBER THAT.

  • >> James: YOU KNOW, YOU SHOULD KNOW BETTER, JUMP, JUMP,.

  • YEAH, CHRIS KREBS.

  • >> CHRIS KREBS WILL MAKE YOU JUMP.

  • >> James: EXACTLY, CHRIS KREBS WILL MAKE YOU HAWAII, REAL HIGH,

  • HAVE YOU LISTENED TO THAT SONG RECENTLY, ABSOLUTE BANGER.

  • ANYWAY.

  • HARD TO KNOW WHO TO TRUST HERE CHRIS KREBS WAS HEAD OF THE

  • CYBERSECURITY AND INFRASTRUCTURE SECURITY AGENCY WITHIN THE

  • DEPARTMENT OF HOMELAND SECURITY BUT REMEMBER TRUMP ONCE TOUCHED

  • THE GLOWING ORB.

  • THIS IS CRAZY, TRUMP CLEARLY ONLY WANTS TO BE SURROUNDED BY

  • YES MEN WHICH I THINK IS RIDICULOUS, DON'T YOU THINK IAN.

  • >> YOU'RE THE BEST IN THE BIZ, CORDEN.

  • >> James: THAT'S WHAT I AM TALKING ABOUT.

  • RIGHT STEVE.

  • >> OF COURSE.

  • >> James: MADNESS RIGHT.

  • >> YEAH.

  • >> James: RIGHT HAGAR, TO JUST HAVE YOUR EMPLOYEES COMPLETELY

  • AGREE WITH YOU ALL THE TIME.

  • >> MADNESS YZ DOANT THINK GUILLERMO.

  • >> NO.

  • >> James: GET OUT.

  • IT'S LOOKING MORE AND MORE LIKELY THAT WE'RE GOING TO GET

  • WIDE ACCESS TO A CORONAVIRUS VACCINE IN THE NEXT FEW MONTHS

  • AND ACCORDING TO REPORTS TRUMP IS FURIOUS BECAUSE HE THINKS JOE

  • BIDEN WILL GET ALL OF THE CREDIT FOR IT.

  • I WILL A YOU HAVE TO GIVE CREDIT WHERE CRED SIT DUE AND IT IS

  • DEFINITELY NOT DUE TO THE GUY WITHOUT SAID THAT ALL OF THIS

  • WOULD DISAPPEAR BY EASTER.

  • AND IF THIS IS WHAT TRUMP IS WORRIED ABOUT WHO GETS THE GLORY

  • FOR A VACCINE.

  • SOMEONE OPENS A SWRAR OF PICKLES AND YOU ARE LIKE YEAH, WELL I

  • LOOSENED IT.

  • WHICH IS SOMETHING I DO.

  • ACCORDING TO A REPORT, TRUMP'S MOOD HAS BECOME INCREASINGLY

  • BLEAK TO THE POINT THAT HE HAS EVEN DECIDED TO CANCEL HIS

  • ANNUAL THANKSGIVING DINNER AT MAR A LAGO AND STAY AT THE WHITE

  • HOUSE INSTEAD.

  • SO WE KNOW THERE IS AT LEAST ONE RACIST GRANDPA WHO WON'T BE

  • SHOWING UP FOR THANKSGIVING THIS YEAR.

  • TRUMP LOCKED HIMSELF AWAY, HE IS ALONE IN HIS ROOM SULKING, NOT

  • TRAVELING FOR THANKSGIVING.

  • FOR ONCE IN HIS LIFE HE IS ACTUAL LEIGH BEING COVID SAFE.

  • TRUMP IS SO UPSET THOSE TWO TURKEYS, THE PRESIDENT USUALLY

  • PARDONS HAVE GONE STRAIGHT TO THE ELECTRIC CHAIR.

  • TRUMP'S AIDES HAVE DESCRIBED HIS MOOD AS BLEAK, IT'S BLEAK.

  • AND YOU CAN TELL THAT JUST BY LOOKING AT HIM.

  • (LAUGHTER) >> I MEAN WHAT DO THEY THINK

  • TRUMP IS GOING TO DO, ON HIS LAST DAY IN THE WHITE HOUSE?

  • WHAT SORT OF DAMAGE IS HE GOING TO DO, IAN?

  • >> I DON'T KNOW IF THIS IS SO MUCH A LAST DAY OF SCHOOL THICK.

  • THIS IS GOING TO BE MORE LIKE THE SLOW EROSION OF BEING

  • DISGUSTING OVER FOUR YEARS, IT IS LIKE THE GRAND CANYON BUT OF

  • LIKE COUCHES THEY ARE GOING TO HAVE TO THROW A WHICH.

  • >> WHAT DO YOU THINK WILL DO IN THERE.

  • WHAT WILL HE DO, REG.

  • >> I THINK HE'S GOING TO HAVE A BUNCH OF WHOOPIE CUSHIONS,

  • LOOSEN THE NAILS ON SOME OF THE PICTURES.

  • >> I WOULD LOVE IT IF HE DID.

  • >> JUST LIKE GAG IT OUT, YOU KNOW.

  • >> I JUST, I DON'T THINK THAT IS, I DON'T THINK THAT IS HIS

  • VIBE BUT I DO FEEL LIKE THAT IS THE SORT OF STUFF THAT THE

  • PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES SHOULD DO.

  • I'M SO SICK OF-- ALL THESE PEOPLE ON TWITTER GOING WHOA,

  • THIS IS THE LETTER THAT BUSH LEFT FOR OBAMA OR CLINTON OR

  • WHATEVER.

  • LIKE NO, YOU'RE RIGHT, WHOOPIE CUSHION.

  • >> YEAH.

  • >> CLING FILM, SARAN WRAP OVER THE TOILET, THAT IS WHAT I WOULD

  • DO.

  • >> LIKE A NUCLEAR FOOTBALL WHEN YOU HIT LAUNCH IT SPRAYS WATER

  • IN YOUR FACE.

  • >> James: ALL OF THAT STUFF, THAT IS WHAT HE NEEDS.

  • >> I'M NOT GETTING A SUNG EL LAUGH, I DON'T KNOW IF IT IS THE

  • HOODIE IS ZIPPED UP TOO FAR OR IF I LIKE-- I HAVE NOT BOMBED

  • THIS HARD SINCE I DID STANDUP STILL AND THAT IS-- WERE.

  • >> James: I DON'T THINK-- IT'S DIFFICULT, I THINK YOU HAVE SUCH

  • A BIG SHOW YESTERDAY, THAT WAS A THING, YOU HAD-- YOU HAD KID

  • ROCK, YOU HAD SOME BREAT BITS, I THINK YOU COME IN ABSOLUTELY

  • RIPPING AND NOTHING.

  • >> NOTHING.

  • >> James: NOTHING, TRY SOMETHING ELSE.

  • >> CAN'T TAKE A SINGLE JUMPER.

  • >> James: TRY ONE MORE.

  • WHAT IS HE GOING TO DO, IAN, THAT IS WHAT I AM THINKING, WHAT

  • TRUMP GOING TO DO, IAN ON HIS LAST DAY IN THE WHITE HOUSE?

  • >> I DON'T KNOW WHAT FRUMP IS GOING TO DO BUT I WILL TELL YOU

  • WHAT MY EX-WIFE DID.

  • (LAUGHTER).

  • >> James: HE'S BACK.

  • >> YEAH.

  • >> James: AND DID YOU GUYS SEE THIS, IVANKA TRUMP'S FORMER BEST

  • FRIEND HAS JUST WRITTEN A TELL-ALL ESSAY ABOUT THEIR

  • RELATIONSHIP.

  • AND IN IT SHE CLAIMS THAT SHE ONCE RECOMMENDED A BOOK TO

  • IVANKA WHO RESPONDED QUOTE, WHY WOULD YOU TELL ME TO READ A BOOK

  • ABOUT [BLEEP] POOR PEOPLE.

  • WHEN SHE HEARD ABOUT THE ESSAY IVANKA RESPONDED THIS ISN'T

  • TRUE, WE LOVED POOR PEOPLE IN OUR HOUSE, ALMOST EVERY MORNING

  • JARED EATS ONE FOR BREAKFAST.

  • NOW HERE'S WHAT I THINK ABOUT THIS, WHAT KIND OF PERSON WRITES

  • THIS STORY WITH ONE MONTH LEFT OF THE TRUMP ADMINISTRATION, YOU

  • KNOW?

  • AS A GENERAL RULE I DON'T TRUST ANYONE WHO CLAIMS TO HAVE OR BE

  • AN EX-BEST FRIEND.

  • IMMEDIATELY THAT IS A VERY SPECIFIC TYPE OF PERSON.

  • DO YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN, WHO USES THE WORD EX-WEES FRIEND,

  • LIKE MY EX-BEST FRIEND TRISHA WAS ALWAYS HOGGING THE

  • SWRELO-SHOTS, SHE WAS A TOTAL BITCH.

  • OH YEAH, I HAVE UNFOLLOWED HER.

  • BY THE WAY THE BOOK ABOUT POOR PEOPLE IVANKA'S FRIEND IS

  • RECOMMENDING WAS THIS ONE.

  • MOVING ON, A LARGE SUPERMARKET CHAIN IS NOW APOLOGIZING AFTER

  • THEY RAN AN INSENSITIVE AAD ENCOURAGING PEOPLE TO HOST

  • THANKSGIVING GATHERINGS.

  • THE AD SAYS HOSTING, PLAN A SUPERSPREAD.

  • IT IS A VERY INSENSITIVE AAD CAMPAIGN BUT A SOLID JOKE.

  • (LAUGHTER) I THINK IT'S OKAY TO BE

  • DISAPPOINTED IN THE CAMPAIGN BUT ACKNOWLEDGE SOLID JOKE.

  • YOU KNOW WHAT I CALL THE AAD, VIERL MARKETING.

  • -- VIRAL MARKETING.

  • CAN WE SEE IT AGAIN.

  • I MEAN CAN YOU IMAGINE EATING ORANGE SLICES WHEN YOU'VE GOT A

  • GIANT SHRIMP PLATTER AND A PERFECTLY GOOD CHEESE BALL.

  • >> AND WE WANTED TO SHOW YOU THIS, A COMPANY IN CANADA IS

  • GETTING A LOT OF ATTENTION ONLINE FOR ITS SIGNS ENCOURAGING

  • PEOPLE TO WEAR A MASK BECAUSE WELL YOU'LL SEE IT WHEN YOU SEE

  • IT.

  • SORRY, I CAN'T HEAR, I'VE GOT A PENIS IN MY EAR.

  • I MEAN TALK ABOUT GRAPHIC DESIGN RIGHT, PLAY ON WORDS, A PLAY ON

  • WORDS.

  • CAN WE SEE THE SIGN AGAIN.

  • LOOK AT THAT.

  • THAT'S A GUY YOU DO NOT WANT TO BE AROUND IF HE SNEEZES.

  • COME ON.

  • DID YOU ONLY JUST SEE IT?

  • IT CAME UP A SECOND TIME AND ALL I HEARD WAS SUSAN GO OH!

  • HOW DID YOU NOT SEE IT, SUSAN.

  • IT IS A GIANT [BLEEP] I SAY GIANT [BLEEP]-- AND FINALLY, WE

  • TALKED ABOUT THIS YESTERDAY AND NOW WE'VE GOT AN UPDATE.

  • DO YOU REMEMBER WHEN WE TOLD YOU ABOUT THE POPE'S OFFICIAL

  • INSTAGRAM ACCOUNT, HOW IT LIKED A PHOTO OF A BRAZILIAN BIKINI

  • MODEL.

  • HERE IS THE PICTURE THAT THE POPE LIKED HERE.

  • WELL, THE VATICAN HAS NOW LAUNCHED AN VEX INTO THE

  • INCIDENT SAYING QUOTE AN INTERNAL PROBE IS UNDER WAY.

  • I'M SURE IT IS.

  • I MEAN IMAGINE PUTTING OUT A PRESS RELEASE, DID NO ONE AT THE

  • VATICAN GO GUISE I KNOW WE HAVE TO RESPOND PUBLICLY BUT MAYBE WE

  • SHOULDN'T USE THE PHRASE INTERNAL PROBE.

  • THE VATICAN SAYS THAT THEY ARE GOING TO LOOK VERY CLOSELY AT

  • IT, VERY CLOSELY, LIKE FOR A LONG TIME.

  • BUT IT LOOKS LIKE HBO IS ALREADY CAPITALIZING ON THE DISIBT.

  • THEY JUST ANNOUNCED THIS NEW SHOW FOR THE SPRING.

  • THE HORNY POPE.

WELCOME TO

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