Subtitles section Play video Print subtitles [ Applause ] -Almost showtime, Jimmy. -What? Oh, yeah, sure. -Are you still thinking about "Queen's Gambit"? -Nah, I mean -- I loved it, but I'm just -- [ Theme music playing ] -Jimmy -- Jimmy! -Yeah? -See you on stage, man. ♪♪ -Green one eats fast. Blue one eats fast. Green one eats faster. ♪♪ [ Laughter ] [ Cheers and applause ] ♪♪ ♪♪ -From Rockefeller Center in the heart of New York City, it's "The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon." Tonight join Jimmy and his guests -- Whoopi Goldberg, Emma Corrin, musical guest Dierks Bentley, and featuring the Legendary Roots Crew. And now here he is, Jimmy Fallon! ♪♪ -Do it! ♪♪ [ Cheers and applause ] -Oh, hey! Hey, thank you very much! Hello! Welcome! Tank you very much. Welcome, everybody. Oh! ♪♪ Thank you very much, everyone. Welcome, please. Thank you so much for being here. We are coming at you live from New York City right now. Everybody, come on! [ Cheers and applause ] Welcome to "The Tonight Show"! Let's get to the news and jokes. Well, guys, everyone is talking about this. Today, Twitter officially launched a new feature where your tweets disappear after 24 hours, called Fleets. Come on, Twitter, you wait till Trump is leaving, then introduce disappearing tweets? Twitter was like, "We solved our biggest problem." People are like, "Racist conspiracy theories?" Twitter was like, "Second biggest problem." [ Laughter ] Is it just me or does tweet fleet sound like a new branch of the military created by Trump? [As Trump] "I'm in a Twitter war with Bette Midler. Send in the tweet fleet." [ Laughter ] Yep, scientists are like, "We just created a COVID vaccine," and America is like, "Yeah, yeah, yeah, Twitter has a new button! Fleet, fleet!" Well, so far it can be a little hard to tell what should be a tweet and what should be a fleet. But I thought this user guy was pretty helpful. Check it out. For example, Barack Obama might tweet, "I hope you all enjoy reading my new memoir 'A Promised Land.'" But he should fleet, "On the DL, this is just stuff I copy-pasted from my other three memoirs." [ Laughter and applause ] Here's Another example. Butterball might tweet, "create a natural roasting rack by putting carrots and celery on the bottom of the pan." But they should fleet, "I'mma be real. I forgot to take the bag of gizzards out, but screw it, it's noon and I've already had three White Claws." [ Laughter and applause ] -Up next, Starbucks might tweet, "Welcome back, Peppermint Mocha, to our 2020 Holiday Drink menu," but they should fleet, "Welcome back, the guy with the ponytail who always blows up the bathroom!" [ Laughter ] And finally, Kohl's might tweet, "It's never too early to pick up some Kohl's Cash for stockings." But they should fleet, "It's never too early to tell their kids they're not getting a PS5." [ Applause ] There you go, I'm just saying. Tweet and fleet. Well, guys President Trump's days in office are numbered, but he's trying to make the most out of them. It just came out that he's even been thinking about attacking Iran. Listen to this. -President Trump asked senior aides about his options for an offensive strike on Iran's main nuclear site. -Senior advisers told the president an attack could escalate into a bigger conflict in the last weeks of his presidency. -What is Trump doing? If he wants to hurt Iran, don't bomb them. Just invite them to a party at the White House. [ Laughter and applause ] Well, I saw that Georgia is finishing up their election recount, but it sounds like some Republicans are interfering to help the President. Listen to this. -Stunning allegations by Georgia's Republican Secretary of State Brad Raffensperger, who told "The Washington Post" he had been pressured by fellow Republicans, including South Carolina Senator Lindsey Graham to question the validity of legally cast absentee ballots. -I'm sure the Secretary of State was terrified. I mean, how intimidating is Lindsey Graham? [ Laughter ] Meanwhile, the Trump campaign still hasn't given up in Wisconsin. However, it looks like a recount is going to come with a pretty big price tag. Watch this. -President Trump's campaign wants a recount in the state of Wisconsin. It's going to cost nearly $8 million up front. The Trump campaign has until Wednesday if they want to request a recount. -Trump was immediately like, "Okay, I concede. Okay." [ Laughter ] Not only does he have to pay that, but also it just came out that Rudy Giuliani wants to charge Trump's campaign $20,000 a day for his services. I wouldn't hire Rudy Giuliani if he paid me 20 grand a day. [ Laughter ] Trump's campaign was like, "If we could afford that, we'd have hired a real lawyer." [ Laughter ] I'm excited for when Trump doesn't pay and then he hires Rudy Giuliani to sue Rudy Giuliani. "I'll take him down, boss." Everyone's excited about this. Dolly Parton is releasing a new holiday album and movie, but it turns out that's not all she's been working on. Listen to this. -Dolly -- she couldn't do enough, so now she's actually helping to cure the coronavirus because one of your donations helped out Moderna, and now Moderna is knocking on the door of a vaccine. -I'm just so happy that anything that I've done could help in any way. -That's right, Dolly Parton helped with the vaccine! [ Cheers and applause ] Dolly Parton! Even weirder, Dr. Fauci is releasing a country album about his childhood in the great Smoky Mountains of Brooklyn, New York. [ Laughter ] Here's a wild story. There's a new college admissions scandal, this time involving Harvard. Check it out. -New arrests in connection with admissions cheating involves a former fencing coach at Harvard, Peter Brand, and a Maryland business executive, Jie Zhao. Zhao is accused of paying more than $1.5 million in bribes to secure Harvard admission for his two sons as fencers. -I'm sure someone with Harvard University fencing coach on their resume is going to do well in the yard. [ Laughter ] When the police came for the fencing coach, he tried to escape by swinging across the room on a chandelier. "Unhand me, you fiend!" [ Laughter ] [ Whooshing ] "You rapscallion, you!" Here's something you may have noticed. For the first time in 30 years, Pepsi just changed its 2-liter bottles. Here is the old look and new look. Yeah. Looks like Pepsi gave all of their bottles a revenge body. [ Laughter ] That looks like before and after your dad realizes you're taking a photo of him by the pool. [ Laughter ] And finally, I heard about an interesting new invention out of Japan for single men. Listen to this. -Robot hand. The new invention from engineers at a Japanese university, it is aimed at single men to simulate holding a woman's hand. It squeezes your palm as you stroll and secretes small amounts of moisture to imitate sweat. [ Laughter ] -Yeah. Sure. That's what they're using it for. [ Laughter ] When asked to comment, a Japanese scientist said, "Be out in a minute! Don't open --" Hey, guys, I want to mention this week's "Tonight Show" hashtag. It is called #NewThanksgivingTraditions. So if you want to play along, just go on Twitter and tweet out your idea for a new Thanksgiving tradition, updated for 2020. I said, "The turkey now pardons the president." So send in your tweets, use the hashtag #NewThanksgivingTraditions. and we'll show our favorites on the show Thursday night. It will be fun! It's fun to play with you guys. [ Applause ] Speaking of fun, I want to remind everyone to tune in tomorrow night. Tariq is excited about this. Look at this dude. He's freaking out. Something very special is going down. Something never before attempted on network television. No show has ever dared to try such a thing, let alone do it. We're having a pajama party here in the studio. Everyone's going to be wearing pajamas. ♪♪ [ Cheers and applause ] Two pieces, onesies, pants, shorts, whatever you're into. Anything goes. -Commando? -It's a full-on -- -Whoa, whoa. -..."Tonight --" It's a full-on "Tonight Show P'Jimmy Jammy Jam." It's all happening tomorrow night, so stay tuned right here. More as the story develops. [ Laughter ] -I told you I am getting my own pajamas. -You said told me -- you whispered something -- you said something condescendingly to me in the hallway. We were walking past, and I thought you were going to say "Congrats P'Jimmys," then -- -No, I said tomorrow -- versus -- P'Jimmys vs. Bad Mamma Jammas. -So you're inventing a new pajamas tonight. -Tonight. -Called Bad Mamma Jammas. -Yeah. [ Laughter ] -Mine isn't even out yet and it's for charity and it's a whole thing. -Mine's for charity, too. [ Laughter ] -But I did it first, and we didn't even do it yet. I didn't launch mine yet. -Yeah, but yours ain't bad. -What happened? -Bad. [ Laughter ] -You can't debut yours tomorrow, though. -I mean, what better time to debut my pajama line than at "The Tonight Show Pajama Jammy Jam"? -"P'Jimmy Jammy Jam." -"P'Jimmy Jammy Jam." -Yeah, no, it's not in quotes. It's just out there. -I could really shut it down if I brought Jimmy Jam here, like, tomorrow. [ Laughter ] -Oh, my God. If you brought Jimmy Jam here... -That's it. -Oh, it'd be a P'Jimmy Jimmy Jam Jam. [ Laughter ] Or a Jimmy -- A Jimmy Jam P'Jimmy Jammy Jam. -Yeah. -You could bring, like, Kid 'n Play here as well. -Eh... -Mm. [ Laughter ] -All right, I'll leave -- How about... Terry Lewis? -Uh, I mean, you know, he doesn't have -- his name doesn't roll off the tongue in the same way. -You rapscallion! Unhand thee now, you fiend! [ Laughter ] All right. Well, anyways, tomorrow night, it's gonna be a little history here.