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  • you are in England.

  • I understand you guys just went into lock down again.

  • Is that right?

  • Yeah.

  • Our second wave.

  • We just come out, actually, but it went went crazy again on DSO.

  • Yeah, we're in our second lock down just for 11 month to sort things out, so we'll get home.

  • It's like this year's been no different to me.

  • I don't know whether in lock down or not.

  • Really, It doesn't make a lot of difference to May.

  • I never like people come into the house.

  • I always got enough booze for a nuclear winter.

  • So I'm always on the account with my six o'clock watching Netflix.

  • So the evenings literally haven't changed, so it suits me.

  • But this is good.

  • I like This is Well, the fact that I don't have to see you in person or smell you is good that you know, I mean, it makes it I think that Yeah, I'm happier.

  • I'm certainly happier in this interview than our previous.

  • Yes, Yes, Ricky, you've always complained.

  • You've always complained And to be fair to you for many years, when you would come on the show, you would say I'd love to do this.

  • But over Zoom, I'd love to be 6000 miles away from you When we wear is great.

  • Which makes me think how terrible we had a pandemic before in the 17th century, the great plague on there was no zoom.

  • And that was awful.

  • That was dreadful.

  • Just, you know, Ugo, people back said many, many people wrote back in their journals back then.

  • If only there was a way we could speak to each other with kind of crappy resolution and a lag time wouldn't be better.

  • So now, Ricky, this has to be tough for you because I've known you for a while and let me point out also, we're on different time schedules.

  • So you're not drinking alcohol early in the morning?

  • No, I wanna make that very clear to people.

  • I mean, I'm hardly drinking alcohol.

  • It's beer, which is a soft drink in England.

  • What do you think when you're hungover?

  • E forgot that in England and Ireland, when you go to a restaurant, you buy a child a beer instead of like a Yeah, Even if it's your child, you just say trio kids, You're rich American Ugo, I've done that many times of Ireland Guinness for all the kids while I'm here.

  • Um, listen, I've known you for a while.

  • You're a bit of a hypochondriac.

  • You worry constantly about your health, your well being.

  • So, anything.

  • How are you handling a plague?

  • We have a modern day plague.

  • How's that going?

  • Well, for the first, A few days of the lock down every other day, I thought I'd caught it.

  • I said to Jane, I've definitely got I've got a temperature.

  • Should go.

  • No, you haven't.

  • She even bought a thermometer online so she could go.

  • No, you haven't.

  • Night on then.

  • I I always think the worst, and I google it well, so if I find a lump, I think that's that's terminal.

  • It could be a pimple or anything at the moment, though, Um, to be fair, though, I'm sometimes right.

  • Like I had root canal work on board.

  • I went to the dentist and they're all in their gear and everything on bond.

  • Now I've got a gun boil So all that I've got a gun boil a gun boil.

  • What is it?

  • I've got I've got a bad for a gun.

  • Boil about bad, Bad bad knees and I do complain, right?

  • And I think I'm gonna die.

  • But one day I will be right.

  • In fact, as time goes on, I've got mawr and more chance of being right, haven't I?

  • It's about my name used to do this for the last 20 years of my nan's life She'd dio I won't see Christmas this year on the last year she was right, So e uh, And when I had the infection, it was an infected tooth.

  • They gave me Cem a prescription to get some antibiotics on.

  • I went to get the antibiotics, Andi, that pharmacists said, Oh, don't drink alcohol with these because they make you violently sick.

  • So I came home on, told Jane, and she went out, Be good, not drinking for a few days.

  • And I went I'm gonna drink.

  • I'm not going to drink the and I'm not gonna take the antibiotics right.

  • And she went, You gotta take the antibiotics.

  • So I compromised and I drank and took the antibiotics.

  • Andi, I woke up that night in a sweat, feeling sick, going.

  • I've got Corona virus, she said.

  • Remember, you drank and took the antibodies that oh, Yeah, yeah, I e did just what they told me not to dio, I want to ask you about a boil.

  • Nobody's had a boil in in like, 400 years.

  • No one gets a boil anymore.

  • That's Ah, that's something that there's a middle age I know 14 hundreds disease.

  • It's really weird.

  • I've got a gun boil some problem the feet like chill blamed or something.

  • Or, you know, um, what's what am I going to get next?

  • A greater i e my suffering from those things?

  • I went to the doctor and I had not have a medical last year.

  • Onda.

  • At one point he said, You're pre gout.

  • Pre gout out.

  • Does that name it is your ear in the bloodstream.

  • So I think from booze I had a little over medical.

  • I feel like those things right?

  • And I tell the truth, except units of alcohol.

  • And I always have those.

  • Yeah, when the doctor gets to those who goes Oh, that's a lot.

  • I think I've won.

  • I go.

  • Is it?

  • You know eso Your doctor thinks it's a lot.

  • Even when you cut the number of glasses you have a day and half your doctor says it's too much, but that what I mean, They just make these figures up, don't they?

  • It's fine.

  • Also, people say to me, Oh, if you if you gave up booze, you live 10 years longer, I think, Yeah, but they'll be the last 10 years.

  • They're the rubbish.

  • 10.

  • I don't want those 10 years.

  • If I could have, like 20 to 30 again, that would be great.

  • But you gotta have 80 to 90 and then that Zo fun.

  • I've seen 90 year old sitting in an armchair, right, and they suddenly dio What?

  • I've broken every bone in the body.

  • You just get brittle and I just think it's no much first.

  • Just just have fun and then die.

  • Kids.

  • Do you mind if we put that together for a public service announcement that way here in America, just have fun and then die.

  • Kids says Ricky, my body like an old car.

  • I don't need a new one on the can't have a new one, right?

  • It's gonna wear up.

  • I'm just gonna have as much fun and then just break down and they just have to tow it away and crush me you know, and you know, we're all gonna die.

  • So being healthy is just dying mawr slowly.

  • So I'm not gonna stop anything.

  • You know, I don't think is the most dangerous thing I dio sitting down at home right then.

  • And it turns out someone could just cough on you and kill you.

  • Well, that no one you know, I'm beginning to think.

  • I wish I had meeting all those bats for Christmas.

  • Well, you ate them raw.

  • That's the problem.

  • You need to thoroughly cook a bat before you eat it.

  • Ricky.

you are in England.

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A2 boil ricky gun alcohol booze plague

Ricky Gervais Treats His Body Like An Old Car - CONAN on TBS

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    林宜悉 posted on 2020/11/17
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