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  • [ Crowd cheers ] -3...2...1.

  • [ Imitates buzzer ] That's it!

  • Good game, pal. I won.

  • I don't know who you are,

  • but it was fun playing against you.

  • -You didn't win. I won. -What?

  • -No, you didn't. Look at the score.

  • -Stop the count. -We did stop the count,

  • and I won. -Keep counting.

  • -I don't need to. Look at the scoreboard.

  • -We're demanding a recount, folks.

  • Can you can believe this? I'm being totally cheated.

  • Everyone agrees.

  • I'm in the process of suing PlayStation right now.

  • -What, uh -- President Trump? -Fake news!

  • -Oh, come on, just admit you lost so we can all move on.

  • Besides, don't you have more important things to do

  • to be playing video games? -I could ask you the same thing.

  • -It's time for the show. I gotta go.

  • -Hey, Dad, can I play? -Get out of there, Eric!

  • -I'm Don Jr.

  • [ Cheers and applause ]

  • -From Rockefeller Center,

  • in the heart of New York City,

  • it's "The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon."

  • Tonight, join Jimmy and his guests --

  • Chance the Rapper, Erin Andrews,

  • musical guests G Herbo and Chance the Rapper --

  • and featuring the legendary Roots crew.

  • And now here he is -- JimmyFallon!

  • -Do it!

  • [ Cheers and applause ]

  • Whoo!

  • Hey! Thank you!

  • Hello, and welcome!

  • Thank you very much. Please.

  • That is so nice.

  • Oh, my goodness!

  • Oh, that's what I'm talking about!

  • Thank you, thank you, thank you very much.

  • Wow. What a crowd.

  • You're not gonna believe this,

  • but the White House just told me

  • we got a million people in here tonight.

  • Amazing, amazing. [ Cheers and applause ]

  • Amazing.

  • Well, let's get to the news and jokes.

  • Well, guys, as the pandemic gets worse,

  • President Trump is making it even tougher

  • for President-Elect Biden to deal with the crisis.

  • Apparently, he's still not letting

  • his coronavirus task force talk to Biden's.

  • I'm really shocked by this, 'cause, up until now,

  • Trump's handling of the pandemic has been flawless.

  • [ Laughter ]

  • Seriously, why is it so hard for Trump?

  • He's been passing off COVID responsibilities

  • for eight months. Why stop now?

  • [ Laughter ]

  • I'm not surprised the transition of power is taking so long.

  • Every time Mike Pence hears the word "transition,"

  • he runs and hides under the bed. [ Laughter ]

  • "Mother, put on 'David and Goliath.'"

  • [ Laughter ]

  • Not sure any of this matters.

  • Trump's task force probably wrote like one memo that says,

  • "We think you get it from licking stuff."

  • [ Laughter ]

  • Honestly, do we even want Trump's task force

  • training Biden's? That's like

  • getting legal advice from Rudy Giuliani.

  • [ Laughter ] "I'd like to represent myself."

  • [ Laughter ] But here's some good news.

  • After last week's announcement from Pfizer

  • that their vaccine is more than 90% effective,

  • another company, Moderna,

  • has made an announcement of their own.

  • Watch this. -This morning, breaking news

  • on the coronavirus vaccine.

  • Moderna announcing its vaccine could be up to 94.5% effective.

  • -That's an amazing achievement. Scientists are like,

  • "We've harnessed the power of mRNA,"

  • while Americans are like, "Does it come in grape flavor?"

  • [ Laughter ]

  • "Can I get it in the gummy shape like Fred Flintstone?"

  • [ Laughter ]

  • I had to read that joke as Brian Regan,

  • 'cause it felt like -- it sounded like

  • Brian would have nailed that, so that was for you, Brian.

  • [ As Brian Regan ] A gummy like --

  • like, Fred Flintstone type of gummy.

  • Bet I could do that.

  • [ Laughter ]

  • [ Normal voice ] Meanwhile, this weekend in Washington,

  • Trump supporters gathered to protest the election.

  • And Trump even drove by on his way to the golf course.

  • Take a look.

  • -Mr. Trump saluted a rally from his motorcade

  • as thousands of Trump supporters claimed election fraud.

  • -Yeah, nothing says "Thanks for your support"

  • like barreling through the crowd on your way to a golf course.

  • [ Laughter ]

  • If you read his lips, I think he's saying,

  • "They wasted a Saturday for this?

  • Could have gone golfing."

  • [ Laughter ]

  • Can we show it again? Just him going by his followers?

  • -Mr. Trump saluted a rally from his motorcade...

  • [ Laughter ] -Yeah, man.

  • And this was cute.

  • Trump's car -- I don't know if you saw it --

  • even had a bunch of tin cans hanging off the back

  • and a sign that said, "Just Lost the Election."

  • I don't know. [ Laughter and applause ]

  • But Trump was overwhelmed by the support.

  • And he was like, "I love you guys.

  • You're doing the white thing. I mean, the right thing."

  • [ Laughter ]

  • Well, if it's not clear by now,

  • Trump still isn't ready to move on from the election.

  • But yesterday, for the first time,

  • it seemed like he was admitting that Biden won.

  • Trump tweeted, "He won because the election was rigged."

  • Yep, that might be as close to a concession speech

  • as we're gonna get, folks.

  • But it was short-lived, because he went on to say,

  • "I concede nothing," and, "I won the election."

  • [ Laughter ]

  • Trump won't give up, while the rest of us are like,

  • "Dude, we've moved on to Netflix shows about chess.

  • We -- We don't care. We don't care, dude."

  • [ Cheers and applause ]

  • Even though Trump's lawsuits keep getting tossed out,

  • it's clear the president is not planning to concede

  • anytime soon. So you know what?

  • We thought we'd do it for him and give us

  • the concession speech that we all deserve.

  • Take a look.

  • [ "America the Beautiful" plays ]

  • -My fellow Americans, a short time ago,

  • Joe Biden beat me in the election.

  • And not only did he win, he won by a lot, actually.

  • Therefore, it is time for me to step aside.

  • Because, let's face it,

  • I wasn't probably on my game, and I wasn't doing so well.

  • And you know, I'm the only President in history

  • to lose the popular vote twice and to get impeached.

  • It's time for a change.

  • The greatest dream in the world is that Joe Biden wins,

  • because the winner of this vote was decided

  • by a fair and open election.

  • Therefore, I humbly concede to Joe Biden.

  • The American people have responded.

  • And they have said to me, "You're fired.

  • Bing. Get out."

  • [ Cheers and applause ]

  • -[ Laughing ] Wow.

  • [ Laughter ]

  • Speaking of the election, The Gap says

  • sales of their pants have nearly doubled

  • since the election week, and they think

  • it has something to do with Steve Kornacki.

  • [ Laughter ] Watch this.

  • After many news outlets reported

  • that Kornacki's signature khakis come from The Gap,

  • the company reported it saw

  • a dramatic increase in online traffic

  • and a more than 90% sales increase on khaki pants.

  • [ Laughter ] -Wow.

  • Right now, Anna Wintour is like,

  • "Why did I choose Harry Styles for the cover of 'Vogue'?!"

  • [ Laughter ] "Kornacki!"

  • [ Laughter ]

  • "I told you -- Kornacki!"

  • [ Laughter ]

  • Today, middle-aged white guys were like,

  • "Is this the line for the PS5s or the Kornacki khakis?"

  • [ Laughter ]

  • Republicans don't know how to feel right now.

  • They lost the White House, but khakis are back.

  • [ Laughter ] It's actually really impressive,

  • because if there's one thing Americans haven't been buying

  • during the pandemic, it's pants.

  • [ Laughter ] Some more business news.

  • Costco is now offering its members a new service.

  • Listen to this.

  • -There's a new membership option at Costco.

  • Private jet company Wheels Up has partnered with the retailer

  • to offer 12-month memberships for its service,

  • starting at the low, low price of $17,500.

  • -As if someone is gonna be shopping like, "Okay,

  • I got the whole chicken, I got a box of Go-Gurt,

  • uh, toilet paper, and, oh, I almost forgot,

  • I need that, uh, jet membership."

  • [ Laughter ]

  • [ Chuckles ]

  • Can I try reading it as Brian Regan again?

  • [ Laughter ]

  • [ As Brian Regan ] Let's see, I got the whole chicken,

  • got a box of Go-Gurt, I got the toilet paper.

  • Uh, almost forgot, I need that jet membership!

  • [ Normal voice ] Nah, that's not it.

  • [ Applause ] It's not working as good.

  • This is cool, though.

  • Since it's Costco, they come around midflight

  • and offer everyone a 10-gallon drum of peanuts.

  • I thought that was good.

  • Hey, guys, Thanksgiving is next week,

  • And I saw that Baskin-Robbins has brought back

  • its turkey ice cream cake. Take a look.

  • There it is.

  • Because all kids were like, "If only our favorite treat

  • looked more like a dead bird carcass.

  • Unh!" [ Laughter ]

  • What is that? It looks like

  • they spray-painted Thor's helmet.

  • [ Laughter ]

  • Not to be outdone, Cinnabon

  • just started selling its frosting by the pint.

  • Look at this. Wow.

  • That's right, it's all the fun of eating Cinnabon

  • with double the depression.

  • It's perfect for anyone looking to Flex Seal their arteries.

  • [ Laughter ]

  • Actually, this is great.

  • Now I have something to baste the Baskin-Robbins turkey with.

  • [ Laughter ]

  • Here's a crazy story from overseas.

  • A school in France had to ask parents

  • to stop throwing their kids over the 6-foot gate

  • when they showed up late for school.

  • Check out the sign that they actually had to hang up.

  • [ Laughter ]

  • Yeah, it's dangerous.

  • Apparently, while landing on the other side,

  • some kids broke their wine bottle.

  • [ French accent ] Now what will I pair with my Lunchables?

  • [ Laughter ]

  • [ Normal voice ] Meanwhile, the parents

  • are already one step ahead.

  • Now they're taking stale baguettes

  • and making their kids pole-vault over the fence.

  • [ Laughter ]

  • [ Chuckling ]

  • And finally, a scuba diver off the coast of Egypt

  • just set an amazing new record. Take a look at this.

  • -An Egyptian scuba diver has broken a new world record.

  • He spent 145 hours, or almost six whole days, underwater.

  • -Wow. Yeah.

  • Yeah, he came up, learned it was still 2020,

  • and went back down.

  • Well, guys, here's some fun news.

  • Last night, we won a People's Choice Award!

  • Yes! [ Cheers and applause ]

  • We won for Nighttime Talk Show of 2020.

  • It's so cool.

  • I just want to thank the People's Choice Awards.

  • And thank you to everyone who voted for us.

  • This award is always special

  • because it comes from you, the people.

  • We try to put on the best show we can for you guys every night,

  • and it's a real honor to be awarded.

  • So thank you so much again for that.

  • [ Cheers and applause ] It's cool.

  • I'll pass it around.

  • Everyone gets it for a weekend, yeah.

  • -Okay, cool. Cool.

  • -Guys, it's Monday. We're excited to be back.

  • We have a great week of shows coming up.

  • Sarah Paulson will be here. [ Cheers and applause ]

  • Dan Levy will be here. [ Cheers and applause ]

  • Michael J. Fox will be on the show.

  • [ Cheers and applause ] And we got music performances

  • from Julia Michaels and Dierks Bentley!

  • [ Cheers and applause ] Big week.

  • And be sure to tune in Wednesday night.

  • Oh, yeah. -[ Laughs ]

  • -Something cool is going down.

  • Something never before attempted.

  • -Oh!

  • We're having a pajama party here in the studio.

  • That's right. [ Cheers and applause ]

  • See? People like it.

  • A "Tonight Show P'Jimmy Jammy Jam."

  • More on that as the week progresses.

  • [ Laughter ]

  • -P'Jimmy Jammy Jam? -It's a P'Jimmy Jammy Jam.

  • -So, what, a pajama party has never attempted?

  • -Never been attempted. -Wow. Awesome.

  • -Not on "The Tonight Show." -We can wear --

  • -Not on television, even. -Oh, ok-- Well...

  • -This is unprecedented. -Okay.

  • -What you're about to do, Wednesday -- I mean, I would --

  • -Wait, what I'm about to do? [ Laughter ]

  • -Oh, yeah, yeah, we're in this together, man.

  • We're a team. -We have to wear p'Jimmies?

  • -You "got to" or you "get to"?

  • [ Laughter ]

  • You "get to" wear p-Jimmies. -Okay.

  • -On Wednesday night, and you get to just jam down, dude.

  • And party down. This is gonna be a par-tay.

  • You see what I'm saying? No. -No, no.

  • -Yeah, yeah. -Okay.

  • -Yeah. -Okay.

  • -You won't even believe -- When you see --

  • You know what you should do?

  • You should just get a hotel in the city.

  • Because there's no way you're gonna want to go back home.

  • Gonna just want to stay up all night,

  • rent movies, and just hang out with your friends.

  • Who do you got? We have Julia Michaels

  • Wednesday. -Right.

  • -That's all we know so far. -That's it.

  • -So we can dance -- She has a song we can dance to.

  • -In our pajamas? -In our pajamas, yeah.

  • -Okay. -Yep.

  • She will not be wearing pajamas. -Oh.

  • -But we will. -Okay.

  • -Well, I mean, you can't -- it's our party.

  • -Okay. -See what I'm saying?

  • -Will the audience in attendance be wearing pajamas?

  • -That's a great question. They will, actually.

  • -Ah. -The audience will.

  • [ Cheers and applause ] They want it.

  • People need this now.

  • Everyone's living their whole days in pajamas.

  • -Yeah, that's -- I -- -Wait till you see what it is.

  • Again, I can't give any more information

  • than I have already have. I already said too much.

  • -Okay. -But yet not enough.

[ Crowd cheers ] -3...2...1.

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