President elect Joe Biden accepted his historic victory with a magnanimous call for reconciliation, showing he totally fails to grasp the new political norm of accusing your opponents of being enemies off the state.

I'm a proud Democrat, but I will govern as an American president.

Let this grim here of demonization in America begin to end here and now.

I don't know if he can lead the free world.

We didn't once hear him dismissed.

Lesley Stahl is a gossipy hag.

Now.

World leaders are congratulating Biden, relieved that White House calls will be shorter and won't require knowing what Stuart Varney said last night.

Biden's transition website is live and lists early Priorities Cove in 19 economic recovery, racial equity, climate change and throwing A O.

C s office keys into the Potomac.

So Hillary talk about this optimistic moment in history before Trump.

Vengeful e nukes.

The cities you know, it's not a good thing when you lose your job and there's dancing in the streets.

Honestly, I am overjoyed.

People say we're just going back to normal, but they forget Normal is great for me Now.

In Kamala Harris is victory speech.

She celebrated her history making win by Commemorating her mother and the women who paved her path.

A preview of her speech when she becomes acting president after Biden crashes his moped into a furniture store.

And so I am thinking about her and about the generations of women black women, Asian white Latina, Native American women who throughout our nation's history, have paved the way for this moment tonight, Hillary, Was it a missed opportunity for Camilla to not also cheer the white women like Megyn Kelly, who resisted this historic moment to make it even Mawr historic?

You know you are not going to find Camilla.

Be divisive.

I think that we have to celebrate the fact that it was women of color, particularly black women that helped bring us across the finish line.

Listen, is lacked humility for Camilla not to thank those most responsible for a win.

Cindy McCain, Just like ah ha!

Hands off and fully deceased.

Roger Ailes Moving on Americans have longed for this day, and it has finally arrived.

The stock market is recovering on the news that Pfizer's coronavirus vaccine is more than 90% effective in its first analysis, good for our health care system developing a vaccine for the remaining citizens.

It's allowed.

Toe live.

Donald Trump Jr celebrated the historic news by interpreting it as a personal slight tweeting.

The timing of this is pretty amazing.

Nothing nefarious about the timing of this at all right?

A fact.

Check don Jr Drug companies do not nefariously withhold medical treatment for political purposes.

They nefariously withhold medical treatment for financial purposes.

Get it right now.

We should disclose that our guest, Hilary Rosen, is vice chair of the public relations firm that represents Pfizer.

So her speaking on this topic is a major conflict of interest that said, Who gives us eso?

Hillary?

How did Pfizer keep this news under wraps?

So it didn't help President Trump?

Well, you know, it is a major conflict of interest to pretend to be neutral because I'm not.

I I admire what they've done, You know, Pfizer is the only company that didn't take government money to develop this vaccine.

The governments spent billions and billions of dollars of taxpayer money, as which is fine t give to drug companies to develop a vaccine, and Pfizer spent billions of their own money.

I know we're not out of the woods yet, but I face time with Wall Street on my iPad this morning, and for the first time in a while, it's mild.

Oh, that's so nice.

Well, moving on.

The Trump administration has established an election fraud reporting hotline to prove that some things can be handled worse than their cove in 19 response.

Lara Trump tweeted Another new number to those who have stay damned are other numbers.

It's shameful that you don't think it's important to have integrity in our elections.

It's fundamental to our republic keeps spamming.

We will keep changing as a number when you're getting crank calls.

It's a pretty smart strategy to change your phone number and immediately publish it online.

This is not a laughing matter.

You know, At my polling place, I saw some pretty serious voting irregularity that I think I should report.

Okay, so we're gonna call in right now.

Thank you for calling the Trump National War Room.

All of our agents are busy helping other callers at the tone.

Please record your message.

When you finish recording, you may hang up or press the pound key for more options.

Hello.

After I finished filling out my ballot.

I took a wrong turn on the way to the restroom and saw poll workers counting the ballots.

I saw one actually spit on one of the ballots I assumed to render it invalid.

But then he stuffed it into another poll.

Workers mouth, both of them moaning in ecstasy.

A couple other workers got a glimpse of this and apparently thought, Why should those to have all the fun?

So they disrobed and jumped in genitals first.

Now, some trump supporting poll watchers spotted them, and the poll workers pleaded with them for mercy, saying, Well, do anything!

And the poll watchers responded anything, So they all started going nuts on each other.

But then the basement door swung open to reveal both Trump campaign manager Bill Stepien and Biden campaign manager Jennifer O.

Malley.

Dylan Stepien shouted, How could you pervert our democracies most sacred duty?

He continued, without first applying an electro stim voltage to our genitals.

Jennifer O Malley Dylan then produced a car battery with the positive and negative jumper cables connected to step in and O malley Dylan's groin areas, respectively, as the poll workers and poll watchers writhed in erotic Congress.

Upon the drenched carpet, the sparks from the two campaign managers electro stim play spawned a fire that spread among the ballots that had so far escaped the fountains of spermatozoa cascading about the chamber.

The lovers integrated the fiery ballots into their play, holding the flames to their tongues, their nipples, they're screwed A and their labia, accentuating the ecstasy with just a barely tolerable char.

That's when they saw me, Bill Stepien said.

Please don't telling us we just got caught up in the democratic process.

Jen O malley, Dylan added, will do anything, anything, I replied.

I then told everyone I'd only keep it a secret if they made my voice warble with an ecstatic Jaap never before released in this human plane.

I guess what I'm saying is the grand experiment of democracy has its road bumps.

Call me back if you need details, E.