That is the ongoing presidential election.

The tuning out The News Decision desk, which is my 19 year old nephew playing Nintendo switch with CNN on in the background, projects that this election is too close to call at this hour.

The only thing we know for certain is that being hopped up on steroids and crawling with disease is how you bring it all home in South Florida.

Now, Michael, your thoughts on tonight other than Nate Silver is a fraud.

Well, look, this is a nail biter.

It's not what any of us was expecting.

If you were reading the polls, you thought Joe Biden had a double digit lead and, you know, was on the cusp of a landslide.

And obviously this is anything.

But as we speak, this election could go either way.

Um, Biden can still pull this out if he maintains his lead in Arizona, but there are a lot of wild cards out there.

The only thing Biden's pulling out is a tooth.

After he takes a bite of loser cupcake, Everyone kept saying We're better than Donald Trump, and I know we were not, and we never will be.

I was right and man is evil.

I mean, when I saw Nate Silver saying Trump was gonna get thumped, I felt so alone.

But now I feel seen, and I didn't I didn't even have to do a striptease in front of my dad's e.

Think of what we're discovering tonight is that this country might be weirder and more messed up than even Trump gave it credit for.

Bottom line is now that Joe Biden is practice three different times, he's definitely going to bring it on home in 2024.

You said it now, Tory, could you pull the curtain back on what happened tonight and show me the news of the nation?

All right, so just for some background for those of you at home, this is what America looks like from space.

The good news for the Trump campaign is he has won Florida Obama campaign there but failed to convince voters he was actually Joe Biden.

But it's all coming to down to the industrial Midwest, Pennsylvania, Ohio, Michigan, Wisconsin and Minnesota.

In other words, guys who unwind by drinking beers and fantasizing about holding a trial in the woods for their governor.

Michael, in retrospect, was higher.

Turn out a better thing for electorate with putrid thoughts and intentions.

Well, look, you know, as a a za democracy, we want as many people to vote Aziz possible.

Uh, that's the premise behind our system.

The big losers right now are the pollsters.

Um, yeah, They obviously once again misled us into thinking this election was in the bag for Biden.

And clearly it wasn't.

I got to say, if you consider it's context in the global community, it should actually come as no surprise that America is taking an entire week to do math that takes every other developed country.

One day now I'm gonna have toe work extra hours in my little rascals.

We're going to keep harassing my poor little, teeny, tiny husband.

Just yesterday, they had him in a tire rolling down Main Street.

When I got back home a poor, teeny, tiny boo Joe Biden took a break from wondering when it was too late to have an actual campaign message to deliver these remarks.

Gonna take time to count the votes were gonna win Pennsylvania.

You know, we could know the results as early as tomorrow morning, but it may take a little longer.

As I've said all along, it's not my place or Donald Trump's place to declare Who's one of this election?

That's the decision of the American people.

Oh, yeah, Donald Trump would never want to put himself over the American people.

Then President Trump lead a room full of people about to die from Koven know that democracy was also about to die.

This is a fraud on the American public.

This is an embarrassment to our country.

We were getting ready to win this election.

Frankly, we did win this election, so we'll be going to the U.

S.

Supreme Court.

We want all voting to stop.

As's faras.

I'm concerned.

We already have 10 hell yeah, he's doing it!

He's going full autocrat.

Get this man a Jaguar on a leash in a 10 ft tall golden toilet.

Now the ratification of this election could come down to just nine quote figures who pledged to diet work for more.

We go to Brian men outside the Supreme Court.

I am here at the Supreme Court, where eye witnesses just spotted justice Brett Kavanaugh, entering alone, carrying a cheese whiz squeeze bottle in a 12 pack of Foster's King cans in leak text to the other justices, he said Quote, I got drank, says and cheese.

If anyone's trying to chill and steal that shit for my King Trump, let's shut out Opinions and bit torrent Faces of Death three and then five minutes went by.

Any texted someone get me.

I am at the hospital back to you.

That is a startling report about the dangers of dairy and premium lager.

Thank you, Brian.

Now, with the election still in the balance, Trump's inner circle is making arrangements in case of a loss, with more on their next steps.

We have Teddy Hopper in New York.

Good evening.

I'm outside the offices of HarperCollins Publishing, where Trump staff holdouts are lining up to pitch.

Tell all books about the principled stands they definitely took behind the scenes.

There's unprecedented how I work to dismantle the presidency from within by doing everything he asked to me by John Ratcliffe, the wolf of White House.

How one man stood up to ah heartless family separation policy by carrying it out with a frown Oh, and John Bolton's await.

There's a second room where it happened.

The Trump anecdotes I didn't get to monetize in my first book.

Back to you.

Yes, profiteering cowards.

Thank you, Teddy.

We'll let's turn out of the senatorial.

What are you seeing?

Lindsey Graham has pulled off the unthinkable.

A Republican has won in South Carolina.

Graham made a strong case to his constituents that if they send him back to Washington, they can keep leering at his descent into the depths of servile fawning for a dictator.

I love that, perhaps also, Mitch McConnell has won reelection despite 88 million pouring into the campaign of Amy McGrath.

If Onley Democrats had just donated another 88 million, she might have lost by a little less.

It was a nail biting double digit win for Lindsey Graham.

He was very worried coming into tonight.

For more, we go toe otter, Lynn honor.

It is a gorgeous night in South Carolina, where a very nervous Senator Lindsey Graham was last seen sprinting up two cars at stoplights, telling motorists that just three more bucks can get him one last targeted Facebook ad.

Then he got his little hand stuck up a vending machine and was crying and soiling himself, saying, First, my office is in jeopardy now.

I can't even still bugles.

What are these times?

I wish you hadn't brought up bugles.

Now it's all I can think about.

We turn now to the House, where the Democrats will hold the majority.

All but guaranteeing Nancy Pelosi will remain a political liability for the Democrats for another two years.

Tory, what do you see in the house?

The real story is that Marjorie Taylor Green has become the first openly Cunanan candidate to win a seat in U.

S.

History.

All but guaranteeing Republican leadership will make a ranking leader of the science committee.

And that's a glass ceiling in its own way, in line of a possible by them presidency.

Congressional Republicans are now grappling with how to continue to inflict harm on Americans.

For more, we go to Bonnie Davis.

Hi, I'm eavesdropping like a little else fudge elf on a meeting of congressional Republicans where they're preparing for demotic democratic sorry rule by relearning how to pretend to give us about the budget, according to my sources.

Inside, Mitch McConnell brought in a speech therapist to remind them how to say, How are you gonna pay for it?

Ted Cruz has a try to explaining why it's less important to feed an unemployed family than at billion dollar cupholders.

Toe F fifteens Marco Rubio is quoting the part of the Bible where Jesus says, Thou shalt feed thy neighbor.

Whatever falls out of Sheldon Adelson's mouth men meal back to Ginza, all it's true.

I don't know what Democrats have in mind, but you've got to pay for it.

Uh huh, yeah.