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  • THIS FIRST HEADLINE COMES FROM STEVIE S AND IT READS FLORIDA

  • MAN, IMAGINE PEOPLE JUST TUNING IN NOW, LIKE BIDEN HAS WON,

  • THEY'RE ALL CELEBRATING AND SOMEONE GETS A TEXT, ST UNDER

  • CBS IS DOING HONEST HEADLINES, NO WAY.

  • BIDEN WON AND HONEST HEADLINES, THIS IS THE GREATEST DAY EVER!

  • THIS ONE FROM CBS THAT SAYS FLORIDA MAN JAILED AFTER

  • ASSAULTING 7-ELEVEN WITH SLURPEE.

  • THAT WAS THE HEADLINE, THE A HONEST HEADLINE SHOULD HAVE READ

  • ASSAULT AND SLATTERY, ONE FROM THE DAILY MAIL THAT I SAS

  • BOYFRIEND DIVED INTO A FISH TANK TO RETRIEVE AN ENGAGEMENT, THE

  • HONEST ONE SHOULD HAVE READ FOOLISH LOBSTER THOUGHT THIS MAY

  • FINALLY BE THE ONE.

  • >> HERE'S ONE FROM NPR READS STUDY FINDS PAINTING EYES ON

  • COW'S BUTT CAN SAVE THEIR LIVES.

  • THAT IS THE HEAD LINE.

  • THE HONEST HEADLINE SHOULD HAVE READ MAN HAS TO COME UP WITH

  • EXCUSE AND FAST.

  • HERE'S A HEAD IAN FROM "THE NEW YORK POST" AND IT READS

  • RENAISSANCE PAINTER RAPHAEL GAVE HIMSELF A NOSE JOB IN

  • SELF-PORTRAIT, THE HONEST HEADLINE SHOULD HAVE READ

  • RAPHAEL DID IT FOR THE GRAM.

  • THAT IS A SHAME.

  • IT WAS HARD TO BEAT THE THE LAST ONE.

  • HARD TO BEAT THE COW [BLEEP].

  • >> JUST FUNNY TO IMAGINE THAT SCENARIO OF A GUY DOING THAT.

  • >> James: THAT IS WHY IT IS FUNNY.

  • THAT IS WHY IT IS FUNNY.

  • >> JUST THINKING ABOUT THAT GUY PAINTING EYES ON A COW'S BUTT.

  • OH BOY, THEY CAUGHT ME, I NEED AN EXCUSE, THE-- THE LAUGHS COME

  • TRAILING IN.

  • >> James: YEAH.

  • I WONDER IF YOU COULD UNPACK EVERY HONEST HEADLINE FROM A

  • COMEDIAN PERSPECTIVE.

  • >> LET ME KNOW.

  • >> James: ALL RIGHT, HERE'S ONE FROM FOX NEWS, AND IT READS

  • COLORADO ZOO LIVE STREAMS GIRAFFE BIRTH, THAT IS THE

  • HEADLINE.

  • THE HONEST HEADLINE SHOULD HAVE READ HERE COMES THE HEAD AND THE

  • NECK AND THE NECK AND THE NECK.

  • BECAUSE GIRAFFES ARE TALL.

  • >> ONE OF THE TALLER ANIMALS AND SPECIFICALLY IN THE NECK AREA.

  • >> James: EXACTLY.

  • YOU'RE RIGHT, THE LEGS ARE LONG BUT THERE ARE OTHER ANIMALS WITH

  • THAT AREA OF LEGS T IS REALLY A NECK-BASED ANIMAL.

  • >> RIGHT, RIGHT, PROCESS OF ELIMINATION, THE NECK IS THE

  • FUNNY PART, YOU KNOW.

  • >> James: HERE'S HEADLINE COMES FROM ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY

  • T READS GEORGE R.R. MARTIN SAYS-- WILL BE DIFFERENT IN THE

  • BOOK.

  • >> IT SHOULD HAVE READ GEORGE R.R. MARTIN STILL WRITING "GAME

  • OF THRONES" BOOK FOR SOME REASON.

  • BECAUSE IT'S DONE, WE FEEL LIKE IT IS FINISHED.

  • >> PEOPLE MOVED ON AFTER THE HBO PROGRAM WAS OVER.

  • >> James: BUT HE IS STILL WRITING THE BOOKS.

  • >> YEAH.

  • >> James: FOR SOME REASON.

  • I THINK THERE IS MORE PEOPLE WATCHING THIS IN THIS ROOM THAN

  • ARE WATCHING THIS ON TV.

  • (LAUGHTER).

  • >> Reggie: DEFINITELY.

  • I MEAN.

  • >> I THINK WE ARE GOING TO BE ON VERY, VERY LATE AT NIGHT IF WE

  • ARE ON.

  • >> James: YOU THINK THIS WON'T BE ON 12:307.

  • >> IF BIDEN ON TRUMP GIVES A SPEECH THEY MIGHT GO TO THAT

  • BEFORE THEY GO TO YOU, NO INSULT.

  • >> YOU ARE A REAL PIECE OF [BLEEP], YOU KNOW THAT.

  • (LAUGHTER).

  • >> James: HERE'S THE HEADLINE THAT COMES FROM CNN AND IT READS

  • COLLEGE STUDENT SAYS A PROFESSOR TOLD HER NOT TO BREASTFEED

  • DURING ONLINE CLASS.

  • THAT IS THE HEADLINE.

  • THE HONEST HEADLINE SHOULD HAVE READ IF HE FINDS THAT

  • DISTRACTING TRY BEING MILKED BY A TINY LITTLE PERSON.

  • >> HERE'S ANOTHER HEADLINE FROM CNN AND IT READS DISNEY PLUS NOW

  • LET'S YOU BINGE WATCH WITH FRIENDS VIRTUALLY.

  • THAT IS THE HEADLINE.

  • THE HONEST HEADLINE SHOULD HAVE READ ADULTS REALLY INTO DISNEY

  • STILL WATCHING ALONE.

  • DO YOU FIND THAT WEIRD?

  • DON'T YOU.

  • >> THAT IS WEIRD.

  • >> JUST ADULTS IN GENERAL.

  • >> JUST ADULTS, WHEN YOU GO TO THE PARK, AND YOU SEE LIKE A

  • COUPLE IN THEIR 30S.

  • WITH LIKE ALL THE GEAR ON.

  • >> YOU KNOW THEY ARE GOING HOME AND HAVING SEX ON MICKEY MOUSE

  • SHEETS.

  • >> James: YEAH, I DON'T GET IT AND THEY LIKE YEAH, I SEE THEM

  • COMING I'M LIKE IN HERE GUYS.

  • I WALK IN LIKE A GIANT SLURPEE AND GOOFY OUTFIT OR SEE THEM

  • GETTING PHOTOS.

  • WITH LIKE YOU KNOW, BUZZ LIGHT-YEAR.

  • LIKE A GUY TAKING A PHOTO OF HIS WIFE WITH LIKE MEHTA FROM CARS

  • 2.

  • YOU KNOW ALL THE TIME HE'S LIKE WHAT DO YOU DO.

  • >> HERE'S ONE, HERE IS THE HEADLINE FROM FOX NEWS, AND IT

  • READS MIKE TYSON SAYS HIS 2020 VOTE WAS THE FIRST OF HIS LIFE.

  • THE HONEST HEADLINE SHOULD HAVE RED TIESON PUNCHED BALLOT,

  • BECAUSE HE'S A BOXER.

  • >> ONE OF THE MOST FAMOUS PUDGE ILIST.

  • >> James: HE IS KNOWN FOR PREDOMINANTLY BOXING AND A IMHON

  • THING PEOPLE SAY HE PUNCHED A BALLOT BUT IT WORKS IF BOTH WAYS

  • BECAUSE YOU PUNCH A BALLOT BUT ALSO SUCK HIM INTO A JAW BONE.

  • >> WE CAN CHALK THAT RIGHT UP TO WORD PLAY.

  • >> James: WE CAN CHALK THAT ONE UP TO WORD PLAY, THAT IS

  • ABSOLUTELY RIGHT.

  • WE CHALKED IT UP, A WORD PLAY CHALK.

  • OKAY.

  • HERE'S ONE WERE FROM PEOPLE.

  • AND IT SAYS AMERICAN PERFECT THEIR COFFEE MAKING SKILLS

  • DURING PANDEMIC, THE HONEST HEADLINE SHOULD HAVE READ IT WAS

  • THE BARISTA TIMES, IT WAS THE WORST OF TIMES.

  • WHERE ARE WE CHALKING THAT ONE.

  • >> WE JUST NEEDED SOMETHING TO FILL IN THERE.

  • >> James: WE DID, WE NEEDED SOME DOWN TIME BEFORE THIS NEXT

  • ABSOLUTE BANGER.

  • >> CLEAR THE RUNWAY.

  • >> HONEST HEADLINE FINAL JOKE, PERMISSION TO LAND.

  • WITHIN AND FINALLY HERE'S THE HEADLINE FROM THE HUFFINGTON

  • POST THAT READS PIZZA SHOP OWNER THAT WARTS RONERY BY TOSSING PIE

  • AT SUSPECT.

  • THAT WAS THE HEADLINE.

  • THE HONEST HEADLINE, THAT IS A SPICY PIZZA.

  • >> WHEN WE COME BACK WE'RE TALKING TO HENRY WINKLER.

THIS FIRST HEADLINE COMES FROM STEVIE S AND IT READS FLORIDA

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    林宜悉 posted on 2020/11/05
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