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  • NOW ELECTION DAY IS ALMOST UPON US, OKAY, NOW REG, I CONSIDER

  • YOU TO BE A GAMBLING MAN BUT IF YOU HAD TO PLACE A BET ON TRUMP

  • OR BIDEN, WHERE ARE YOU PUTTING YOUR MONEY?

  • >> WELL, I WANT TO SAY BIDEN.

  • >> YEAH, OKAY, IAN, IAN?

  • >> ARE YOU A GAMBLING MAN?

  • I DON'T THINK ARE YOU A GAMBLING MAN.

  • >> I'M A RAMBLING MAN.

  • >> ARE YOU A RAMBLING PAN BUT NOT A GAMBLING MAN.

  • >> THAT IS THE NAME OF YOUR ALBUM.

  • >> RAMBLING MAN, NOT A GAMBLING MAN.

  • >> THE REASON I'M ASKING IS THIS BECAUSE A LOT OF PEOPLE ACTUALLY

  • ARE BETTING ON THE ELECTION RESULTS.

  • IN FACT, ACCORDING TO ONE GAMING SITE THE 2020 ELECTION COULD GO

  • DOWN AS THE MOST BELT ON EVENT IN HISTORY.

  • FINALLY SOMETHING TO BRING A LITTLE EXCITEMENT TO WHAT WOULD

  • HAVE OTHERWISE BEEN AN INCREDIBLY DUL EVENING.

  • I MEAN GAMBLING ON THE ELECTION RESULTS, WHICH MEANS PEOPLE ARE

  • GOING TO BE AT HOME WATCHING CNN LIKE COME ON, SLEEPY JOE, COME

  • ON, COME ON, JOE, DON'T SLOW DOWN, BUDDY, GO!

  • DID YOU KNOW I WROTE THOSE.

  • >> FROM YOU WRITING-- I NEVER TALK ABOUT IT ON THE SHOW.

  • I AM GIVING IT AWAY.

  • SOMETHING I LIKE TO KEEP PERSONALLY FOR ME BECAUSE I PUT

  • SOMUCH OF MY LIFE PUBLIC AND OUT THERE.

  • I'M NOT HITTING HIM, IT IS FOR ME.

  • WHAT?

  • COME ON, JOE!

  • >> WHOA.

  • CALM DOWN.

  • >> SHHH.

  • >> I GOT A TWEET TODAY, I WHREEP [BLEEP] YOU NOT FROM SOMEONE WHO

  • SAID, I WATCHED THE LAST TOOR SHOWS.

  • ARE YOU OKAY?

  • (LAUGHTER) I'M NOT BEING WEIRD, I WATCH THE

  • SHOW A LOT.

  • AND EVERYONE IS GOING THROUGH SOMETHING.

  • JUST CHECKING IN, ARE YOU OKAY?

  • AND I DID REPLY.

  • CUZ I THINK IT'S EVIDENCE.

  • OF COURSE TRUMP AND BIEND ARE BOTH ON THE CAMPAIGN TRAIL AND

  • TODAY THEY BOTH HELD RALLIES IN TAMPA, FLORIDA.

  • I MEAN FIRST THEY LOST THE WORLD SERIES, NOW TRUMP VISITING THEM.

  • IT'S A ROUGH WEEK FOR TAMPA BAY.

  • BOTH CANDIDATES IT TOP STOPPED IN TAMPA ON THE SAME DAY, AN

  • OLD-FASHIONED TAMPA BAY SHOWDOWN.

  • THE GRAND PERS AND TAM PASSING THE TAMPA TWO STEP, THE MELEE IN

  • THE BAY, I KNOW NOTHING ABOUT TAMPA BAY, I'M MAKING THIS ALL

  • UP.

  • SORRY, I DON'T KNOW BUT AT TRUMP'S RALLY FIRST LADY MELANIA

  • TRUMP TOOK TO THE STAGE TO SPEAK ABOUT THE NEED FOR SOCIAL

  • DISTANCING WHILE SPEAKING TO A PACKED CROWD OF TRUMP SUPPORTERS

  • WHO WEREN'T WEARING MASKS.

  • >> THE PRESIDENT IS FOCUSED ON NOT ONLY DESTROYING THE VIRUS

  • AND BUILDING BACK THE ECONOMY, THEY ARE FOCUSED ON CREATING

  • WAYS FOR PEOPLE TO SAFELY STOP ISOLATING AND GATHERING WITH

  • FRIENDS AGAIN ON A SAFE DISTANCES.

  • >> WOW.

  • >> James: I CAN'T EVEN, I KBTS, CAN I, I CAN'T-- THAT'S

  • LIKE GIVING A SPEECH ABOUT SOCIAL DISTANCING AT A RALLY

  • WHERE NO ONE IS SOCIAL DISTANCE-- THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT

  • WAS HAPPENING.

  • WHEN DOES MELANIA READ THESE SPEECHES? IS SHE READING THEM

  • IN REALTIME?

  • RIGHT, THERE IS NO ONE THERE BOTHER TO LOOK AROUND AND GO OH,

  • THIS, THIS MIGHT FEEL WEIRD, NO?

  • THE ONLY PEOPLE AT THAT RALLY WHO ARE SOCIALLY DISTANT ARE

  • DONALD AND MEL ANIAN-- MELANIA AND THEY WERE DOING IT BEFORE

  • COVID.

  • AND ANOTHER POWNT TRUMP ATTACKED JOE BIDEN BUT ENDED UP INIS

  • THING HIS OWN FRIENDS.

  • >> I CAN MAKE APPROXIMATE A COUPLE OF TEESES GUYS, THEY ARE

  • FRIENDS OF MINE, THEY ARE NOT GOOD PEOPLE, THEY ARE BETTER

  • THAN JOE REASONS REALLY?

  • WOW.

  • >> HE CAN LITERALLY SAY ANYTHING AT ONE OF THESE RALLIES AND

  • PEOPLE WILL CHEER.

  • THAT MUST HAVE BEEN A ROLLER COASTER OF EMOTIONS FOR THOSE

  • GUYS IN THE CROWD.

  • THE PRESIDENT JUST CALLED THEM FRENSD.

  • WHAT?

  • TRUMP THEN WENT OFF TO CONGRESSMAN ADAM SCHIFF WHO RAN

  • THE IMPEACHMENT TRIAL AGAINST HIM IN THE SENATE.

  • AND HE WAS VERY SPECIFIC IN HIS DESCRIPTION OF THE SCHIFF, TAKE

  • A LOOK.

  • >> RUSSIA RUSSIA RUSSIA, AREN'T WE TIRED OF THIS CRAP.

  • I FEEL LIKE-- I SAW SCHIFF THE OTHER DAY, TWO DAYS AGO,

  • WATERMELON, HE LOOKED LIKE A WATERMELON HEAD, RIGHT.

  • >> James: WATERMELON, WATERMELON HEAD, WHAT YOU ARE

  • SAYING IS THAT MAN IS A JUMPING OFF POINT FOR A HIT HARRY STYLES

  • SONG.

  • THAT'S A SHAME.

  • KILLED ON ZOOM, THAT.

  • SUSAN, DO YOU NOT KNOW THAT SONG BY HARRY STYLES.

  • >> I DO.

  • >> James: OH.

  • (LAUGHTER) I UNDERSTOOD ALL OF IT, IT JUST

  • WASN'T VERY FUNNY, YEAH, NO, YOU ARE RIGHT, IT WASN'T THAT FUNNY.

  • IT WASN'T.

  • IT WAS NOT THAT FUNNY, SUSAN.

  • YOU ARE BANG ON RIGHT.

  • MOVING ON, WE WANTED TO SHOW YOU THIS, A HOMEOWNERS ASSOCIATION

  • IN TEXAS HAS ASKED A WOMAN TO TAKE DUN HER INAPPROPRIATE

  • HALLOWEEN DECORATIONS BECAUSE THEY FEATURED SKELETONS POSED ON

  • STRIPPER POLES, RIGHT, HER THEY ARE HERE.

  • LOOK AT THAT.

  • I MEAN IT IS INAPPROPRIATE, THOSE SKELETONS SHOULD BE

  • WEARING MASK.

  • HERE'S MY THING WITH THIS.

  • I LIKE WHEN THE HOMEOWNERS ASSOCIATION SAID THAT THE

  • DECORATIONS WERE INAPPROPRIATE BECAUSE OF THE STRIPPER POLE,

  • NOT BECAUSE THEY SLOW DE CEASED LUMS.

  • WHOSE FLESH HAS ROTTED AWAY.

  • IT IS ROTTED AWAY, THEY WERE BURIED DECADES AGO AND THEIR

  • FLESH HAS BEEN EATEN BY MAGGOTS AND WORMS, EXOSED AND THEY SHOW

  • COME BACK TO LIFE AFTER THEIR FAMILIES HAVE MOURNED THEM.

  • THINK ABOUT THE GRIEVE AND THEY HAVE COME BACK, THE SKELETONS

  • MADE THE SKINS, SOME BOABS, THAT IS FEUN, IT IS THE FACT THAT

  • THEY ARE STRIPPERS.

  • AND I HONESTLY THINK THAT'S MY BEEF WITH HALLOWEEN, THAT IS MY

  • ISSUE WITH ALL OF THIS.

  • IS THAT IT'S JUST-- WE WERE GOING TO DO A STORY THE OTHER

  • NIGHT ABOUT A GUY, WE WERE-- A GUY WHOSE HALLOWEEN DECORATIONS

  • WERE SO LIKE, THERE WAS A DIRE-- WITH WAS IT, LIKE THERE

  • WAS BLOOD EVERYWHERE, AND THE GUY HAD FALLEN OFF THE ROOF AND

  • HE HAD LIKE A WASHING MACHINE AND THE POLICE WENT AROUND

  • BECAUSE SOMEONE REPORTED A MURDER.

  • AND WE WERE GOING TO DO THIS STORY AND SEE THE-- WE COULDN'T

  • SHOW IT ON TELEVISION.

  • AND THAT'S HALLOWEEN IN AMERICA.

  • AND HOW MANY PEOPLE IN THE HOMEOWNERS ASSOCIATION ARE LIKE

  • WE'RE FINE WITH THE CORPORATIONS.

  • WE'RE FINE WITH-- YOU KNOW WHAT WE SHOULD DO, GET A REAL

  • SKELETON, A REAL ONE.

  • >> LIKE A FRESH ONE.

  • YOU KNOW WHAT WE SHOULD DO, TO REALLY GET TO THE BOTTOM, WE

  • SHOULD SKILL SOMEONEK SKIN THEM AND THEN STAND OUTSIDE GO, OH,

  • YOU'RE FINE WITH IN.

  • >> Reggie: THAT WOULD BE.

  • >> THAT BE A REAL CARPOOL SCARY-OKE.

  • >> WOW, YOU'RE ON [BLEEP] FIRE TONIGHT, ARE YOU ON FIRE.

  • NOT ONLY HAVE YOU COME DRESSED AS A MECHANIC IN A SITCOM IN THE

  • '90S, IAN, A SITCOM, WHO FIXES THE BOILER, BUT LIKE WILL FROM

  • WILL AND GRACE.

  • >> I AM GOING TO OVERCHARGE FOR THE CARBURETOR.

  • SHE'S RIGHT BEHIND ME, ISN'T SHE.

  • (LAUGHTER).

  • >> James: OH DEAR.

  • COME ON, WE'VE GOT VIN DIESEL COMING UN.

  • >> OH YEAH.

  • >> James: IS VIN DIESEL LISTENING.

  • >> HE MIGHT BE LISTENING, HE IS IN THE ZOOM.

  • >> James: I WOULD LOVE IT IF VIN DIESEL IS LISTENING.

  • VIN DIESEL WAS THE LAST GUEST ON THE SHOW WITH AN AUDIENCE.

  • >> THAT'S RIGHT.

  • >> James: YEAH.

  • THAT SEEMS JEERS AGO.

  • WHEN WE COME BACK WE'RE GOING TO TALK TO VIN DIESEL, EVERYBODY.

  • COME ON BACK.

NOW ELECTION DAY IS ALMOST UPON US, OKAY, NOW REG, I CONSIDER

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