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  • NOW CHELSEA, I WANT TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT THIS, IN YOUR

  • BRILLIANT NEW SPECIAL YOU TALK QUITE A LOT ABOUT YOUR

  • UNRESTRAINED LOST FOR NEW YORK GOVERNOR ANDREW CUOMO.

  • >> I MEAN I TALK MORE ABOUT ANDREW CUOMO THAN I DO ABOUT

  • ANYTHING ELSE THESE DAYS.

  • I WENT THROUGH A PERIOD OF TIME WHERE I WAS DEFINITELY SEXUALLY

  • ATRACTED TO HIM.

  • >> YES, YOU TALK VERY MUCH ABOUT ALL OF THE THINGS THAT YOU WOULD

  • LIKE TO DO WITH HIM.

  • BUT SINCE HE ISN'T THE ONLY BLUE STATE STUD IN OFFICE RIGHT NOW

  • WE THOUGHT WE WOULD SEE WHICH CURRENT DEMS YOU WOULD LET SLIDE

  • INTO YOUR DM'S IN A ROUND-OF-SHAG, MARRY, BANISH TO

  • AN ISLAND.

  • >> OKAY, OKAY.

  • >> James: SO HERE WE'VE GOT THESE THREE HERE, THESE ARE OUR

  • FIRST ONE, ANDREW CUOMO, GAVIN NEWSOM AND CORY BOOKER.

  • NOW ONE OF THESE, YOU HAVE TO SLEEP WITH, ONE NIGHT ONE TIME.

  • THE OTHER YOU HAVE TO MARRY.

  • TILL DEATH US DO PART, THE WHOLE THING, DOG, THE OTHER ONE YOU

  • PAN BANISH TO AN ISLAND NEVER TO SEE THEM AGAIN.

  • WHO WOULD IT BE.

  • >> WELL, FIRST OF ALL, ANDREW CUOMO WOULD BE MY FIRST CHOICE

  • FOR.

  • >> I THINK.

  • >> James: FOR MARRIAGE.

  • >> WELL, LET ME JUST WORK THIS OUT WITH YOU, BECAUSE CORY BOOK

  • CERTIFICATE MY HOME STATE SENATOR.

  • HE IS THE SENATOR FROM NEW JERSEY AND I REALLY LIKE HIM.

  • HE'S VERY POETIC AND FLOWERY WHICH I THINK WOULD GET ON MY

  • NERVES OVER TIME, YOU KNOW WHAT WHAT I MEAN, BUT I LOVE HIM, HE

  • IS A DESCENT GUY BUT I JUST DON'T WANT TO HANG OUT WITH HIM.

  • LONG-TERM, WE ARE NOT ON THE SAME PAGE, HE IS A VEGAN.

  • SO I GUESS I WOULD HAVE SEX WITH GOVIN NEWSOM-- NO, NO, I WOULD

  • HAVE SEX WITH CORY, NO, I THINK I WOULD HAVE SEX WITH GAFFE

  • INNEWSOM.

  • >> James: NO.

  • >> WHO ARE YOU BAN YOU WERING TO AN ISLAND.

  • >> I THINK I HAVE TO BANISH-- OKAY.

  • HOLD ON A SECOND.

  • I-- OH, OKAY, I'M GOING MARRY ANDREW CUOMO.

  • >> James: OF COURSE.

  • >> ES SEA GOING TO PROTECT ME.

  • >> James: A LOCK.

  • >> I WILL HAVE SEX WITH CORY BOOK ARE AND GAVIN NEWSOM I WILL

  • BANISH TO THE ISLAND.

  • >> James: I AGREE.

  • >> BECAUSE IN THAT ORDER THOSE ARE THE PEOPLE I ADMIRE THE MOST

  • IN THIS MOMENT.

  • ANDREW CUOMO, CORY BOOKER AND GAVIN NEWSOM.

  • >> James: THERE WE GO, BECAUSE WE MUST ABIDE BY THE EQUAL TIME

  • RULES, WE HAVE TO BALANCE THIS OUT.

  • SO WE ARE GOING TO MOVE ON SOME REPUBLICANS CELEBBITIES.

  • SO HERE YOU HAVE GOT SCOTT BAIO, JAMES WOODS AND THE AMERICAN BAD

  • ASS HIMSELF, KID ROCK.

  • SO WHO WOULD YOU LIKE TO SHAG, WHO WOULD YOU MARRY, WHO WOULD

  • YOU BANISH.

  • >> I MEAN-- CHELSEA AND CHACHI.

  • >> IS HE DEFINITELY THE ONLY ONE I COULD POSSIBLY [BLEEP] IS HIM,

  • I'M SORRY.

  • >> YOU HAVE TO DO THAT WITH TWO OF THEM.

  • >> OKAY, SO THE BANISH TO THE ISLAND HAS TO BE KID ROCK

  • BECAUSE I CAN'T DEAL WITH HATS AND STUFF.

  • >> James: GONE, JAMES WOODS I WILL-- WELL, HE'S THE OLDEST SO

  • HE WILL PASS AWAY SOONER SO I WILL MARRY LIMB.

  • AND THEN SCOTT BA BAIO I WILL HAVE SEX WITH.

  • THAT IS EASY.

  • >> WE ARE GOING THROUGH, FEUNLLY, YOU HAVE ONE MORE FOR

  • YOU, AFTER O WE ARE TALKING ABOUT THE REPUBLICAN

  • POLITICIANS.

  • OKAY AM YOU HAVE TED CRUZ.

  • LINDSEY GRAHAM AND MITCH McCONNELL.

  • WHO DO YOU SLEEP WITH, WHO DO YOU MARRY AND WHO DO YOU BANISH

  • TO AN ISLAND.

  • >> OKAY, THIS ONE I HAVE A BOOED ONE.

  • THEY ARE GOING TO, WHICH IS, THIS FACE FORWARD SEX OR CAN I

  • BE FACING A DIFFERENT DIRECTION?

  • (LAUGHTER).

  • >> James: EITHER WAY.

  • >> AND I'M WEARING A MASK HAVE.

  • >> James: EITHER WAY TED CRUZ CRIES AT SOME POINT DURING IT.

  • >> OKAY.

  • YEAH, TED CRUZ IS IMPOSSIBLE TO HAVE SEX WITH, SO THIS IS WHAT I

  • AM GOING TO DO, I AM GOING TO-- I'M GOING TO BANISH TED

  • CRUZ TO AN ISLAND.

  • >> James: REALLY.

  • >> SEE I'M MARRYING CRUZ EVERY STEP OF THE WAY.

  • >> HE IS A TURN COAT AND A LIAR AN HE DOESN'T EVEN PROTECT HIS

  • OWN WIVE OR DEFEND HIS OWN WIFE.

  • IS HE GOING TO AN ISLAND AND HE IS A SCUM BAG.

  • IS HE GOING TO AN ISLAND.

  • >> James: WHEREAS MITCH.

  • >> MCH I'M ABOUTING TO HAVE SEX WITH JUST SO I CAN BEAT HIM UP.

  • I WOULD HAVE SHALL-- HE WOULD NOT KNOW WHAT HIT HIM, IF I

  • LANDED ON TOP OF HIM, CAN YOU IMAGINE WHAT WOULD HAPPEN,

  • HOPEFULLY HE WOULD HAVE A HEART ATTACK AND WE WOULD BE DONE WITH

  • HIM.

  • AND THEN LINDSEY GRAHAM, OBVIOUSLY I WILL CHOOSE TO MARRY

  • BECAUSE HE'S SO EASY TO MANIPULATE MENTALLY THAT I CAN

  • TURN HIM INTO A DEMOCRAT SCRZ THAT'S IT.

  • SHE HAS DONE IT.

NOW CHELSEA, I WANT TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT THIS, IN YOUR

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A2 banish james andrew cuomo marry cuomo island

Marry, Shag, Banish: GOP Senators w/ Chelsea Handler

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    林宜悉 posted on 2020/10/29
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