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  • >> James: HELLO, GOOD EVENING, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, WELCOME TO

  • THE "LATE, LATE SHOW."

  • I HOPE YOU ALL HAD A PLEASANT FIRST DAY OF OCTOBER IT IS

  • IMPORTANT TO MENTION THAT, TODAY SHOULD BE SOMEWHERE BETWEEN MAY

  • AND JULY.

  • OR THE YEAR 2023, IT IS YOUR CHOICE, WHATEVER YOU THINK.

  • BUT ST, IT IS THE FIRST DAY OF OCTOBER.

  • FALLING LEAVES, CRISP BREEZES, TREES CHANGING COLORS.

  • THIS IS JUST A PARTIAL LIST OF THINGS THAT WON'T HAPPEN HERE IN

  • LOS ANGELES.

  • HOW WAS YOUR DAY, REG.

  • ANYTHING FUN?

  • TELL ME ALL ABOUT IT.

  • >> Reggie: TOOK A FLAP AND-- NAP AND-- .

  • >> James: I SWEAR TO GOD, WHAT SHOW IS THIS, ROB, 800 AND WHAT?

  • >> 814.

  • >> James: 814, EVERY TIME ON THE SHOW OR BACKSTAGE I ASK REG

  • THAT QUESTION.

  • IT MAY NOT BE THE LEADER BUT AT SOME POINT IN THE SCHEDULE THE

  • PHRASE "TOOK A NAP" IS THERE SOMEWHERE.

  • I'M READY.

  • >> YEAH, TOOK A NAP.

  • >> James: WHEN DID YOU NAP?

  • CUZ YOU WERE HERE TODAY AT WHAT, 1:00?

  • >> Reggie: YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.

  • I WAS IN THE-- WELL, ABOUT AN HOUR AGO, JUST BEFORE, I GOT UP

  • ABOUT TEN MINUTES BEFORE RIGHT NOW.

  • >> James: WHY WOULDN'T YOU THOUGH.

  • WHY WOULDN'T YOU?

  • WHY WOULDN'T YOU?

  • WE'RE LAUGHING, THE MAN'S GOT THE WHOLE THING RIGHT.

  • HE'S GOT THE WHOLE THING BANG ON.

  • THAT'S THE TRUTH OF IT.

  • AND SO DO YOU.

  • CUZ YOU'RE HERE AND SO ARE WE, YOU KNOW, WE'RE ALL DOING THIS,

  • WE HAVE A GREAT SHOW FOR YOU, WE'LL BE CHATTING WITH THE

  • DASHING TIE -- TYRA BANKS AN LATER THE EVAN RACHEL WOOD.

  • STICK AROUND FOR THAT.

  • BUT IT SEEMS LIKE EVERYONE IS STILL TALKING ABOUT THE DEBATE.

  • EXCEPT FOR RUDY GIULIANI WHO WENT ON TWITTER THIS MORNING TO

  • TALK ABOUT THE DEBAT.

  • THAT'S A REAL TWEET.

  • I LIKE HOW THERE IS A PERIOD AT THE END.

  • LIKE YEAH, DONE.

  • THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT I WANTED TO SAY.

  • THE DE BATH.

  • AN REALLY THERE IS TO BETTER TWEET TO SUM UP WHAT IT WAS.

  • A DEBATE WHERE NOBODY COULD FINISH THEIR SENTENCES.

  • GIULIANI CAUGHT THE MISTAKE AND DE BLEAT-- DELETED THE TWEET UT

  • IF IT HAD BEEN ME, YOU KNOW WHAT I HAVE DONE, LEANED INTO IT.

  • SORRY GUY, MY DEBAD.

  • AND AT A RALLY LAST NIGHT IN MINNESOTA PRESIDENT TRUMP

  • BRAGGED ABOUT THE HUGE NUMBERS OF VIEWERS FOR THE DEBATE, BUT

  • AS USUAL TRUMPS WITH A LITTLE LOOSE WITH THE FACTS, HAVE A

  • LOOK.

  • >> IT HAS THE SECOND HIGHEST RATINGS OF OVERALL TELEVISION IN

  • THE HISTORY OF TELEVISION.

  • DOES ANYBODY KNOW WHAT WAS FIRST, LIKE MASH OR SOMETHING, I

  • GUESS, YOU KNOW, THEY HAD THE FINAL EPISODE OF MASH AND I

  • DON'T KNOW, DOES ANYBODY KNOW?

  • >> James: YEAH, THAT WILL IMPRESS THE YOUNG VOTERS TO GET

  • OUT THERE.

  • TELL THEM ARE YOU ALMOST AS POSSIBLE LAR AS A 1970S SITCOM

  • ABOUT THE KOREAN WAR.

  • NOW JUST TO BE CLEAR, THIS WASN'T ANYWHERE NEAR THE SECOND

  • HIGHEST RATED PROGRAM OF ALL TIME.

  • FOX NEWS HAD THE LARGEST DEBATE AUDIENCE AT ALMOST 18 MILLION

  • VIEWERS WHILE THE LAST TEN SUPER BOWLS HAVE HAD OVER 100 MILLION

  • VIEWERS EACH.

  • BUT WHAT YOU HAVE TO REMEMBER, IN ALL OF THIS, IS THAT TRUMP'S

  • A LIAR.

  • THAT IS WHAT HE DOES.

  • I DON'T THINK WE CAN GET ANY LEGAL TRUBL FOR THAT, CAE WE.

  • THAT IS NOT LITIGIOUS, IS IT, IAN.

  • THERE IS NO PROBLEM SAYING THAT.

  • >> NO, I WENT TO LAW SCHOOL.

  • WE'RE ALL GOOD.

  • IAN ALSO A LIAR.

  • HEAR'S THE THING.

  • IT WASN'T EVEN THE HIGHEST RATED DEBATE THAT TRUMP HAD

  • PARTICIPATED IN.

  • ALL TOTAL, 11 MILLION FEWER PEOPLE WATCHED TUESDAY'S DEBATE

  • THAN WATCHED THE 2016 DEBATE BETWEEN TRUMP AND HILLARY

  • CLINTON OR AS IT IS NOW CALLED THE SERIES FINALE OF AMERICA.

  • THE COMMISSION WHO RUNS PRESIDENTIAL DEBATES DOESN'T

  • WANT, THEY SAID THEY DON'T WANT ANOTHER CHAOTIC MESS LIKE LAST

  • TUESDAY NIGHT SO THEY ARE CONSIDERING GIVING THE MODERATOR

  • THE NEXT DEBATE THE ABILITY TO CUT OFF MICROPHONES.

  • AND IF THAT DOESN'T WORK THEY ARE GOING TO GIVE THE MODERATOR

  • A FIRE HOSE.

  • RIGHT, THAT'S IT.

  • BAD PRESIDENT, NAUGHTY!

  • CARRY ON, JOE.

  • STOP IT.

  • THAT, THAT WOULD BE THE HIGHEST RATED SHOW IN THE HISTORY OF

  • TELEVISION.

  • OUT OF THE 90 INTURNTIONS DURING THE FIRST DEBATE, 71 OF THEM

  • WERE COMMITTED BY TRUMP.

  • THE OTHER 19 WERE ME YELLING AT HOME, THAT'S IT.

  • WE'RE MOVING BACK TO ENGLAND.

  • AND DID YOU GUYS SEE THIS, DURING A BRIEFING THIS MORNING A

  • REPORTER CORRECTED PRESIDENT TRUMP'S PRESS SECRETARY FOR

  • INCORRECTLY SAYING TRUMP'S SUPREME COURT NOMINEE WAS A

  • PRESTIGIOUS RHODES SCHOLAR.

  • >> JUDGE BARRETT IS EXTREMELY WELL CALLIFIED GRADUATED SUMA

  • CUM LAUDE FROM LAW SCHOOL WHERE SHE ACHIEVED THE COIN PRIZE FOR

  • BEST RECORD IN SCHOLARSHIP AND ALSO A RHODES SCHOLAR.

  • >> YOU SAID SHE WAS A RHODES SCL AR, I'M NOT SURE IF THAT IS

  • TRUE.

  • >> THAT IS WHAT I HAVE WRITTEN HERE.

  • >> SHE ATTENDED RHODES COLLEGE SO MY BAD.

  • >> WHOA.

  • >> SORRY.

  • THAT IS RIGHT, SHE WENT TO RHODES COLLEGE IN TENNESSEE.

  • SPOKEN LIKE A TRUE NONRHODES SCHOLAR.

  • I'M SURPRISED SHE DIDN'T JUST DOUBLE DOWN LIKE MOST TRUMP

  • OFFICIALS WHEN THEY GET CAUGHT SAYING SOMETHING UNTRUE THEY

  • DOUBLE DOWN.

  • SHE SHOULD HAVE JUST GONE NO, SHE STUDIED HIGHWAY

  • CONSTRUCTION.

  • SHE IS A ROAD SCHOLAR.

  • IF IT WAS WRITTEN DOWN, WOULD YOU GET T A STAND BY WHAT I

  • SAID.

  • MAYBE SHE WASN'T A ROADS SCHOL AR BUT-- RODE SCHOLAR BUT SHE

  • DID GRADUATE MAGA CUM LAUDE.

  • >> THANK YOU GUILLERMO, I APPRECIATE THAT.

  • AND DID YOU SEE THIS, YESTERDAY THE PRESIDENT TOOK TIME OUT OF

  • HIS BUSY SCHEDULE TO DO SOMETHING VERY IMPORTANT.

  • HE TWEETED OUT A STUDY FROM 2018 SAYING DONE MCDONALD'S FRENCH

  • FRIES MAY CURE BALDNESS.

  • ADDING NO WONDER I DIDN'T LOSE MY HAIR.

  • I LIKE THAT THE COUNTRY IS A MONTH AWAY FROM AN ELECTION IN

  • THE MIDDLE OF A PANDEMIC FACING A SUPREME COURT NOMINATION

  • BATTLE AND THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES IS LIKE, MAYBE

  • THIS IS A GOOD TIME FOR ME TO GET INTO COMEDY.

  • YOU ARE A STANDUP COMEDIAN, IAN, HOW WOULD TRUMP GET ON AT AN

  • OPEN MIC NIGHT.

  • >> OH, I HATE TO SAY THIS BUT I THINK HE'D DO PRETTY GOOD.

  • LIKE IF HE WEREN'T THE PRESIDENT, LAKE IF THAT PART,

  • YOU JUST FACTOR THAT OUT, HE'S KIND OF GOT GOOD COMEDIC

  • THIEMING AND HE LIKES FAST FOOD, HE TALKS ABOUT HOW DATING IS

  • WEIRD.

  • I THINK HE KILLS.

  • >> James: IT'S GOOD THAT HE HAS SOMETHING TO FALL BACK ON.

  • >> YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.

  • >> OUR COMMUNITY HAS WORSE PEOPLE IN IT, SO YOU KNOW.

  • >> James: NOW DID ANYBODY WATCH THE LAKERS PLAY IN THE

  • FIRST GAME OF THE NBA FINALS LAST NIGHT?

  • DID YOU SEE IT?

  • DID YOU SEE IT?

  • DID YOU WATCH IT, IAN?

  • >> YEAH, I WATCHED IT.

  • >> James: YOU STILL NOT OVER IT RIGHT.

  • >> NO, NOT AT ALL.

  • I WON'T BE BITTER UNTIL THE DAY I DIE ABOUT THE LAKERS.

  • >> James: WELL, LET'S KEEP IT LIGHT WELL, IF YOU WATCHED IT

  • YOU WEREN'T THE ONLY ONES BECAUSE PRESIDENT BARACK OBAMA

  • ATTENDED THE GAME AS A VIRTUAL FAN.

  • HERE HE IS HERE.

  • SO TURNS OUT OBAMA IS AVAILABLE TO DO VIRTUAL APPEARANCES.

  • INTERESTING.

  • VERY, VERY INTERESTING.

  • OBAMA WAS SITTING IN THE FRONT ROW AT THE GAME.

  • NOW SURE NOT EVERYONE GETS THAT SORT OF TREATMENT.

  • REMEMBER, THIS IS ABSOLUTELY UNNECESSARY.

  • AND WE WANTED TO SHOW YOU THIS.

  • AN AMBULANCE SERVICE IN THE U.K.

  • JUST TESTED A JET SUIT FOR PARAMEDICS THAT THEY SAY CAN

  • HELP SAVE LIVES.

  • HERE IT IS IN ACTION.

  • HERE IT IS IN ACTION.

  • THAT'S IT, WE'RE OFFICIALLY LIVING IN THE FUTURE.

  • THE FUTURE SUCKS BUT WE'RE THERE.

  • NOW DON'T BE ALARMED.

  • THE AMBULANCE SERVICE