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  • -Hey, guys, I'm about to show you some books

  • that you should avoid at all costs.

  • It is time for the latest installment of my

  • "Do Not Read" list.

  • Do not read

  • Do not read

  • Do not read these books

  • These books

  • -Now, before we start, I just want you to know that

  • every book that I'm about to show you is 100% real.

  • These are actual books.

  • You can find them on Amazon or check them out

  • at your local library.

  • They are real.

  • Alright, let's see what's on my "Do Not Read" list.

  • This first one here is a book for all of you animal lovers.

  • This is called "Hamsters for Pleasure and Profit."

  • -Come on.

  • -I bet this has your usual advice on how to

  • make money off your hamsters, but who knows.

  • Let's take a look in here.

  • Oh. Hmm.

  • It says, "Begin!

  • Lose this day loitering, 'twill be the same old story,

  • tomorrow, and the next day more dilatory.

  • Each indecision brings its own delays,

  • and days are lost lamenting o'er lost days.

  • What you can do, or think you can, begin it.

  • Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it!"

  • That is a quote by the

  • famous 17th century German writer Goethe.

  • Again, this is "Hamsters for Pleasure and Profit."

  • [ Laughter ]

  • Next up is a photography book. I love those ones.

  • This one is called "Women in Trees."

  • It is literally 100-plus pages

  • of old photos of random women sitting in trees.

  • And in case that wasn't enough for you,

  • they came out with

  • "More Women in Trees."

  • Yeah.

  • That's actually more of a stump. -Yeah.

  • -Yeah, sequels are never as good.

  • Next is a paranormal book. It's perfect for Halloween.

  • This is...

  • "Enjoy Your Own Funeral."

  • Sounds like a fun thing to do.

  • Look at these two people. They're clearly having a blast.

  • You should be able to enjoy your funeral.

  • It's your day, you know? -Yeah.

  • -Why should everyone else have all the fun?

  • [ Laughter ]

  • Why let everyone else have the fun?

  • Next is a book called...

  • "Is Eating People Wrong?"

  • I'm gonna save you the time reading this.

  • Uh, yes.

  • I'm not sure what category this next book belongs in,

  • but this is...

  • "This Man Touched Me."

  • -Come on.

  • [ Laughter ]

  • -Yeah. But you know what's even crazier, though?

  • Shocking about this.

  • No one checked it out.

  • Well, we're down to our last book.

  • -Oh, man.

  • -Well, it has -- You know, all good things.

  • -Yeah. -This is an autobiography.

  • Yep.

  • This is called...

  • "A Tramp Finds a Home."

  • [ Laughter ]

  • Let's just hope she doesn't live next to this guy.

  • There you go.

  • That's all I have for this edition of my

  • "Do Not Read" list.

  • If you have a book that you think should be

  • on our next "Do Not Read" list, I want to see it.

  • Send your titles to donotread@tonightshow.com.

-Hey, guys, I'm about to show you some books

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B1 read funeral laughter list profit enjoy

Do Not Read: Enjoy Your Own Funeral

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    林宜悉 posted on 2020/10/28
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