Name: Trump Holds Superspreader Rallies And Whines About Covid While Joe Biden Offers A Competing Vision
Uploaded: 2020-10-28T19:16:14.000Z
Duration: 12 min 1 s
Description: Thousands of YouTube videos with English-Chinese subtitles! Now you can learn to understand native speakers, expand your vocabulary, and improve your pronunciation...

>> Stephen: HOLLOW, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.

FOLKS, THE 2020 ELECTION IS ONE WEEK AWAY.

MARK YOUR CALENDARS, AND THEN GET A BETTER CALENDAR.

ON NOVEMBER 3, I WILL HAVE A LIVE ELECTION NIGHT SPECIAL ON

AND, YES, BECAUSE IT IS PAY CABLE, I'M WILLING TO DO FULL

NUDITY AS LONG AS IT IS TASTEFUL, IN KEEPING WITH MY

CHARACTER, AND FORWARDS THE PLOT OF THE RESULTS FROM

PENNSYLVANIA -- WHICH I HEAR IS GOING TO BE A CLOSE SHAVE, WHICH

SO FAR, BIDEN IS AHEAD IN THE POLLS AND IN THE EARLY VOTING.

AND, APPARENTLY, THE SECRET TO BIDEN'S LEAD IS THAT PEOPLE FIND

OKAY, SO, PEOPLE LIKE BIDEN BECAUSE HE'S LIKABLE.

THOUGH, TO BE FAIR, ANYONE CAN SEEM LIKABLE NEXT TO DONALD

BUT THE BIGGEST NEWS IN THE ELECTION IS THE CORONAVIRUS, AND

AND I'LL TELL YOU ALL ABOUT IN TONIGHT'S EDITION OF:

>> Stephen: I JUST KEEP TALKING AND HE STAYS THERE?

IN THE PAST WEEK-- I WASN'T SURE-- THE U.S. AVERAGED OVER

70,000 NEW CASES A DAY, THE MOST IN ANY SEVEN-DAY STRETCH IN THE

THINGS ARE SO BAD THAT WISCONSIN IT HAS CHANGED ITS STATE MOTTO

TRUMP'S PANDEMIC APPROVAL RATING IN THE BADGER STATE HAS DROPPED

POLLS HAVE FOUND THAT HOLDING RALLIES IN DEFIANCE OF

CORONAVIRUS HEALTH RECOMMENDATIONS HAS FUELED

VOTERS' DISAPPROVAL OF HIS HANDING OF THE PANDEMIC.

APPARENTLY, VOTERS ARE NOT RESPONDING TO HIS CAMPAIGN'S

CLOSING MESSAGE: "LET THE MASKLESS MAN SPIT ON YOU!"

THE VIRUS SURGE COULD HAVE A BIG EFFECT ON TRUMP VOTERS.

SO FAR, 66 MILLION PEOPLE HAVE VOTED EARLY.

IN FACT, PROJECTIONS INDICATE THE MAJORITY OF BALLOTS WILL BE

CAST BEFORE ELECTION DAY FOR THE FIRST TIME IN HISTORY.

AS BEN FRANKLIN SO WISELY PUT IT, "EARLY TO BED AND EARLY TO

VOTE, GET HIM OUT OF THE WHITE HOUSE BEFORE HE DIGS A MOAT."

MOST OF THE EARLY VOTING HAS GONE TO THE DEMOCRATS, AND ON

THE OTHER SIDE, TRUMP HAS SPENT MONTHS WARNING HIS SUPPORTERS

AGAINST VOTING BY MAIL, SO THE G.O.P. IS ESSENTIALLY BETTING

ALL OF ITS CHIPS ON A STRONG ELECTION DAY.

HE'S TAKING ALL OF HIS CHIPS AND PUTTING IT ALL ON BLACK...

BUT THEY HAVE ALREADY IN MASSIVE NUMBERS.

AND THE DISPARITY IN EARLY VOTING MEANS THAT TRUMP NEEDS A

HUGE TURNOUT ON ELECTION DAY IN THE MIDDLE OF A SURGING

( AS TRUMP ) "ALL RIGHT, CHILDREN OF MAGA,

PUT ON YOUR NIKES, FILL YOUR THERMOS WITH KOOL-AID, AND GO

THEN I PROMISE, WE ALL BOARD THE SPACESHIPS TO THE COMET.

NOW, BIDEN IS GETTING A BOOST FROM ONE OF HIS FORMER RIVALS:

BILLIONAIRE MIKE BLOOMBERG, SEEN HERE IN FUN SIZE FOR HALLOWEEN.

BLOOMBERG HAS BEEN PAYING FOR PRO-BIDEN ADS IN FLORIDA, AND

THIS WEEK, BLOOMBERG WILL BE FUNDING A LAST-MINUTE AD BLITZ

HE'LL BE REACHING OUT TO TEXAS VOTERS WITH HIS TRADEMARK TEXAS

( AS BLOOMBERG ) "HOWDY AND HELLO, FELLOW

AS YOU CAN SEE FROM THIS POWERPOINT, YOUR TEXAS LONGHORN

STEERS ARE A WONDERFUL SOURCE OF PASTRAMI.

LAST NIGHT AT THE WHITE HOUSE, THEY HELD A CONFIRMATION OF

EVERYTHING WE HAVE EVER THOUGHT ABOUT THEM.

FOR MORE ON THIS STORY, WE GO NOW LIVE TO THE INEVITABILITY

I AM AND WAS ALWAYS GOING TO BE STEPHEN COLBERT.

HUGE DAY FOR THE INEVITABLE: WE CAN PROJECT WATER IS WET, DEATH

COMES FOR US ALL, AND LAST NIGHT, JUDGE AMY CONEY BARRETT

WAS CONFIRMED 52 TO 48, WHICH MEANS DONALD TRUMP NOW HAS AS

MANY SUPREME COURT APPOINTMENTS AS HE'S HAD WIVES.

AND UNLIKE TRUMP WIFE, THESE POSITIONS LAST A LIFETIME.

NOW, NOT EVERYTHING ABOUT BARRETT'S CONFIRMATION HAD TO

BECAUSE AFTER THE SENATE VOTE, BARRETT WENT TO THE WHITE HOUSE

FOR A HASTILY THROWN-TOGETHER SWEARING-IN CEREMONY AND BALDLY

A MEMBER OF THE SUPREME COURT HASN'T BEHAVED SO

Subtitles ListPlay Video

Trump Holds Superspreader Rallies And Whines About Covid While Joe Biden Offers A Competing Vision

inevitable

apparently

pandemic

slightly