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  • -Chris. -How are you?

  • -Thank you so much for coming on the show, bud.

  • It's great to see you.

  • -Jimmy Fallon, how's it going?

  • How -- How's your summer been, Jimmy?

  • -[ Laughing ]

  • I'm learning. I'm learning.

  • I'm always learning, man. You know I love you, buddy.

  • -Hey! Hey!

  • I love how they always say "the one and only."

  • Like, I know you've been duped before.

  • -[ Laughing ] I know.

  • But I say -- I know. Well, it just fits.

  • -I know we -- the last time, we had the fake Chris Rock on,

  • but tonight, it's the one and only.

  • -It fits. It fits with your name.

  • "The one and only." -Just saying.

  • -Yeah, I know. -If you're gonna fake

  • being a celebrity, why would you fake me?

  • You know what I mean? I'd fake being "The Rock,"

  • actually, more than fake me, Chris Rock.

  • That seems a lot more fun.

  • -We got to Zoom a couple times together,

  • and this is -- it's always interesting.

  • I don't know when to -- on the ones that we were on,

  • when to make a joke, when to come in.

  • You know, like -- are people waiting on us to make jokes?

  • -We had some epic Zooms this summer.

  • -Like, crazy ones, where it's just like --

  • I was just kind of sitting back, because like -- wow.

  • Just watching -- -Me, you, Leo, Matt Damon,

  • Kevin Hart, Sandler. -Sandler.

  • -I remember -- I did ones that, like --

  • It was, like, me, Kevin Hart, and Tom Brady.

  • You know, like -- I don't really know Tom Brady.

  • -Wow.

  • -But it was nice to talk with him.

  • -Yeah. -Get acquainted.

  • -It was crazy.

  • -Like, some epic, ridiculous zooms.

  • -Chappelle, I think, was on -- How was...

  • -Yes. -...Camp Chappelle?

  • 'Cause I know Questlove saw you there.

  • -Camp Chappelle was great.

  • I think I may go back -- Man, who knows.

  • I may end up there this weekend. You never know.

  • -Right. -Yeah. Have you been yet?

  • -No, I do want to go, 'cause, honestly,

  • I miss performing in front of a crowd.

  • -You gotta go. You get off your plane,

  • they test you for COVID immediately.

  • -Really? -And once you get tested,

  • once your test comes back negative, you get a wristband.

  • And now you can enter the inner sanctum.

  • -Yes. -So, everybody --

  • You can look -- everybody's got a wristband.

  • So no one's got COVID. -Wow.

  • -And so you can actually hang out with people all week.

  • You know, drink, smoke, whatever.

  • And just have a COVID-free time.

  • -And what was it like going in front of an audience?

  • -It was kind of a cool. Remember at the comedy clubs,

  • I always said, like, the rain crowd was always the best,

  • because they really wanted to be there?

  • -Yeah. -Know what I mean?

  • -They're happy to be indoors.

  • -Well, the COVID crowd is even better.

  • Like, the COVID crowd is very happy that there's a show.

  • -Yeah, they want to be -- They want entertainment.

  • They're like, "Yes!"

  • -"Just give us anything!

  • We are -- we have watched 'Tiger King' far too many times.

  • Give us anything." -You said that the pandemic

  • has been for you like what an off-season is for an athlete.

  • What do you mean by that? -I've just been --

  • You know what? I had all this time.

  • It's like, "What are you going to do?"

  • Well, I mean, so I --

  • I started working out in a weird, like, obsessive way.

  • In like a kind of Kevin Hart, Joe Piscopo way.

  • Just been like -- [ Grunting ]

  • Working out. I learned to swim.

  • I've been swimming a lot.

  • 'Cause I couldn't swim forever. -Oh, I didn't know that.

  • -Yeah, I grew up in the hood.

  • It's hard to swim with the water from a fire hydrant, you know?

  • [ Both laugh ]

  • When a fire hydrant is your ocean.

  • -Yeah, exactly. Just doggy pad-- yeah.

  • -You can work on a few strokes, but you know...

  • -The pressure pushes you back, yeah.

  • -It's really hard to really -- yeah.

  • It's -- yeah, that's how I -- yeah.

  • It's just hard to -- yeah.

  • -That's fun the way -- -Swim on 125th Street.

  • -I always think of you, Chris, 'cause I feel like you

  • and Bill Murray always end up in these places where I go,

  • "What is going on? What --

  • How did you end up -- Who did you...?"

  • And I always think about it all the time.

  • You were hanging out

  • with YouTube star David Dobrik recently.

  • That's what made me think of this.

  • -Yeah, I like David. I like David.

  • -How did you meet -- How do you end up --

  • How does David Dobrik and Chris Rock end up together?

  • -Well, you gotta understand, my kids are like my focus group

  • at this point. -Yep.

  • -And if they say somebody's funny, then they're funny to me.

  • I don't -- You know. -That's right.

  • -So, my kids, they've left Kevin Hart, you know?

  • And now they're on David Dobrik, right?

  • And I'm watching this stuff.

  • And they're like, "He lives in the Valley."

  • And I'm like, "Well..." We were in L.A. at the time.

  • "Yeah, let's go see him. Let's see what he's doing."

  • So, I made a couple of calls, and I talked to him,

  • I say, "Is it okay if I stop by?"

  • Never met him before, by the way.

  • -He's great. -And he said, "Sure."

  • So I just -- me and my kids, we got in the truck,

  • we first made a stop at In-N-Out,

  • 'cause that's what you do when you're in L.A.

  • Gotta get your In-N-Out. -You have to.

  • -And then we went over to David's house, you know?

  • And we hung out for, you know, half a day or whatever.

  • And now me and David are like this.

  • -No, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I know -- yeah, right.

  • -Like this! -[ Laughs ]

  • You've always been recognizing great talent in people.

  • Most recently, I think, Leslie Jones.

  • But you once tried to get -- is this true? --

  • Cardi B into comedy? -Well...

  • Yes, I've been -- When I say recognize talent --

  • People are so obviously funny, it's like, yes.

  • So, I remember I used to try to get Leslie Jones an agent

  • for years, and no one would listen to me.

  • Finally -- of course, Lorne Michaels is a genius.

  • And he asked me if I knew any black women for "SNL."

  • I said, "I might have somebody for you."

  • So, yeah, I knew Leslie Jones early.

  • I'll say J.B. Smoove premiered on "The Chris Rock Show."

  • -Yeah. -Hannibal.

  • I remember pitching Wendy Williams to HBO

  • for a show 20 years ago, and they didn't want to go for it.

  • -For a talk show? -But the latest person --

  • A talk show, yeah. They thought I was crazy.

  • -Geez. -Yeah.

  • -And look at her now. She's phenomenal.

  • Of course, Wendy Williams. -Yeah, look at her now.

  • God bless her. -But what happened with Cardi B?

  • -She's doing exactly what I knew she was gonna do.

  • -Yeah. -Cardi B, I saw, like,

  • on some YouTube thing or whatev--

  • Again, my kids showed me this Cardi B girl.

  • And she didn't have a record out or anything.

  • And I was like, "Okay, we should go show it."

  • I'm not even gonna say what network, but --

  • So I went -- me, Cardi B, and her management, you know,

  • to, like, kind of get a show going.

  • And it just never happened. But I thought she was --

  • And she told me about her rap at the time.

  • And I was like, "Yeah, yeah, that's good, good.

  • Anyway, you're a comedy star." -Yeah.

  • -So... -She is really funny.

  • -She is really -- I think Cardi B's

  • the funniest woman -- or, one of the funniest people, you know...

  • -Yeah. -It's like Chappelle, Cardi.

  • You know what I mean? Like...

  • [ Both laugh ]

  • Like, in the standings right now, like,

  • two of the funniest people in the world.

  • -Yeah. -Cardi's right up there.

  • She's neck-and-neck with Bill Burr.

  • You know what I mean? Like, she's good, man.

  • -Bill Burr. He's awesome.

  • -Bill puts a little more writing into it,

  • but Cardi can hang with anybody.

  • -Can you stick around? I want to talk about "Fargo."

  • I'm really excited about this. -Sure.

  • -All right, cool. -For you, I'll do it.

  • -More with Chris Rock when we come back, everybody.

-Chris. -How are you?

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