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  • -Oh, hi. I didn't know you were there.

  • [ Laughter ]

  • Welcome back. It's the end of the week, guys.

  • And that's usually when I catch up with some personal stuff.

  • I like to write out some thank you notes.

  • I was just wondering if I could do that right now.

  • I'll do it very quickly.

  • James, can I get some thank you notes writing music please?

  • ♪♪

  • [ Laughter ]

  • You heard him, right? He gave a little...

  • [ Laughter ]

  • Thank you, Stanley Cup, for picking a really bad time

  • to be one giant trophy that everyone wants to touch,

  • kiss and drink out of.

  • [ Laughter ]

  • Thank you, President Trump, for accusing protestors

  • of throwing Bumble Bee Tuna for being the worst thing

  • to happen to canned tuna fish since the name,

  • taste, smell and packaging.

  • [ Laughter ]

  • Canned tuna fish.

  • Thank you, Sun on "The Masked Singer,"

  • for looking like "CBS Sunday Morning's"

  • evil twin brother.

  • [ Laughter ]

  • I love those horns.

  • Was Charles Osgood on our show, or was I on Charles' --

  • was I on "CBS Sunday Morning" where I made him

  • tie his bow tie?

  • Remember that?

  • -Yeah, it was on "CBS Sunday Morning."

  • -I was there, yeah, I think.

  • I was like, "I love your bow tie.

  • Did you really tie that yourself?"

  • He was like, "Of course."

  • I was like [swoosh]

  • He was like.

  • -Rude. -Five-year-old.

  • [ Laughing ] Yeah.

  • [ Laughs ] He was awesome.

  • He's a legend.

  • Thank you, Cracker Barrel, for announcing

  • you're going to start serving alcohol

  • and bring America one step closer

  • to the chicken fried steakarita.

  • [ Laughter ]

  • You know they're going to do that?

  • Thank you, Oral-B, for sounding like a '90s rapper.

  • [ Laughter ]

  • -Ah, yeah. It's your boy, Oral-B.

  • ♪♪

  • -[ Rapping ] ♪ Nine out of 10 dentist approve

  • The one-tenth just didn't like to move

  • So I played them this kickass groove

  • And that's what they call me Oral-B, smooth

  • Okay.

  • [ Laughter ]

  • I was going more '80s rap, like.

  • ♪ I crept up into something tonight

  • And my name is Oral-B ♪

  • And I rock to the record, the rickety-rock

  • [ Scatting ]

  • [ Laughter ]

  • [ Scatting ]

  • Wow, he went on for that 25 minutes of rickety-romp rap.

  • [ Chuckles ]

  • Unfortunately tonight Oral-B will not be performing

  • "Rickety-romp rap."

  • Thank you, walking through a spider web,

  • for me turning me into a karate master.

  • [ Laughter ]

  • That's what a karate master looks like.

  • Thank you, hockey, for looking like

  • if 2020 were a sport.

  • There you go, everybody. Those are my thank you notes.

-Oh, hi. I didn't know you were there.

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