Had no heat nowhere. I had a mattress on the floor and the

Apartment was infested with fleas when I beat you down

You know what you got to do my girlfriend at the time was killed in a car accident

Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming

I lost my career my god the show was canceled

I was getting letters from kids that almost committed suicide but I did I

Didn't go to college

Here and as I don't know if president Cowan knows I didn't go to college at all any college

when I finished school, I was completely lost I

Really I had no ambition. I didn't know what I wanted to do. I did everything from my shock toy oysters

I was a hostess. I was a bartender. I was a waitress. I painted houses

I sold vacuum cleaners I had no idea and I thought I'd just finally settle on some

Job, and I would make enough money to pay my rent. Maybe have basic cable, maybe not

I didn't really have a plan my point

Is that by the time I was your age, I really thought I knew who I was but I had no idea

The way I ended up on this path was from a very tragic event

I

was

Maybe 19 and my girlfriend at the time was killed in a car accident

And

I passed the accident and I didn't know it was her and I kept going and I found out shortly after that. It was her

And I was living in a basement apartment. I had no money. I

Had no heat nowhere. I had a mattress on the floor and the

Apartment was infested with fleas and I was soul searching. I was like, why is she suddenly gone and there are fleas here. I

Don't understand

There must be a purpose and wouldn't it be so convenient if we could just pick up the phone and call God?

And ask these questions and I started writing and what poured out of me was an imaginary

conversation with God which was one-sided

And I finished writing it and I looked at it and I said to myself

And I hadn't even been doing stand-up ever. It was no Club in town

I said I'm gonna do this on The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson

And I'm gonna be the first woman in the history of the show to be called over to sit down

Several years later. I was the first woman in the history of the show and only woman in history that showed to sit down

Because of that phone conversation with God that I wrote would you welcome Ellen DeGeneres?

Thank you, I started this path of stand-up

it was

Successful and it was great

but it was hard because I

Was trying to please everybody and I had this secret that I was keeping that I was gay

And I thought if people found out they wouldn't like me. They wouldn't laugh at me

then my career turned into I got my own sitcom and

that was very successful another level of success and I thought they find out I'm gay then they'll never watch and I

Finally

Decided that I was living with so much shame and

so much fear

that I just couldn't live that way anymore and I decided to come out and make it creative and my character would come out at

The same time and it wasn't to make a political statement

it wasn't to do anything other than to free myself up from this heaviness that I was carrying around and I just wanted to be

the truth honest

What's the worst that will happen I can lose my career

I got the show was cancelled after six years without even telling me I read it in the paper

The phone didn't ring for three years I had no offers nobody wanted to touch me at all

And

yet I was getting letters from

kids that almost committed suicide but didn't because of what I did and I realized that I had a

Purpose and it wasn't just about me and it wasn't about celebrity

But I felt like I was being punished and it was a bad time

I was angry I was sad and then I was offered a talk show

The people that offered me the talk show tried to sell it and

Most stations didn't want to pick it up. Most people didn't want to buy it. They thought nobody would watch me and

Really when I look back on it, I wouldn't change a thing

I mean it was so important for me to lose everything because I found up

What what the most important thing is to be true to yourself?

Ultimately, that's that's what's gotten me to this place. I don't live in fear. I'm free

I have no secrets and I know I'll always be. Okay because no matter what I Know Who I am

so in conclusion

When I was younger, I thought success

Was something different I thought when I grow up I want to be famous

I want to be a star but my idea success is different today

and as you grow

You'll realize definition of success changes for me

The most important thing in your life is to live your life with integrity

And not to give in to peer pressure to try to be something that you're not

To live your life as an honest and compassionate person to contribute in some way so to conclude my conclusion

Follow your passion stay true to yourself never follow someone else's path and everything will be fine

I know that a lot of you are concerned about your future

But there's no need to where some of the most devastating things that happen to you will teach you the most

When life get you down, you know what you gotta do this

You