Why?

What's that?

Why do we have to turn off our electronic devices?

Because they can interfere with the plane's navigation.

Oh, okay.

So anyway...

How?

What's that?

How do they interfere with the plane's navigation?

Ohh... Because the electronic signals can interfere with the signals between the plane and the radio tower on take-off and landing.

Oh, okay! Got you! That makes sense. Thank you!

Okay! Ahh, let's all make sure that our seats are fully upright...

Wait. I mean I get why I can't have a radio or whatever, but how's my Kindle gonna screw things up?

That's a good question.

It's not just about radios. All devices have an electromagnetic field that can interfere with the radio frequencies.

Ohhh… okay. That's good.

Alright. Please make sure that all tray tables are...

Wait, so you're saying that a 90 million dollar aircraft can't ignore the signal from my 40 dollar iPod shuffle?

That's weird.

She's right! That is weird.

Yeah, now I'm confused again.

If they're so dangerous, why do you allow devices on the plane and not…I don't know... gels?

Yeah! Could I hold this plane hostage with my 3DS?

Some devices are more dangerous than others, but there isn't enough time to go through them one by one.

I mean how come the plane doesn't interfere with my phone?

And why don't the other phones interfere with my phone?

I just always leave my phone on and nothing happens.

Yeah...

You can't! Everybody no! All electronic devices have to be turned off!

I can't turn off my pacemaker.

Oh, your pacemaker is fine.

Just opens up a whole new can of worms.

Yeah yeah...I agree.

Airplanes are magic!

Okay? No one knows why you have to turn off your phones. And you wanna know why?

Because no one knows how an airplane works!

A couple of dumbos down in Kitty Hawk took some sticks and some old pants and they glued them together and they fucking flew!

And no one knows why.

I thought the wings generated lift?

Lift?

Thrust?

No! Scientists want you to think that they figured it out but no one has ever figured it out and now we're just rocketing through space on a 30 ton dumpster running on God knows what magic!

And you guys wanna just dig around with that?!

I mean who knows what can fuck this shit up! Okay?

So turn off your Twitter machines for just 13 minutes while we soar through the clouds like the Sun God Apollo.

And just read your fucking skymalls! OKAY?

Hey!

My sister is pregnant!