It's me, Conan O'Brien, here to talk to you about voting.

Even though 98% of my fans can't go to the polls

because they're either preteens or convicted felons,

that won't stop me from addressing you,

the voters of Florida.

Once again, you're playing a crucial role

in picking our president,

so whatever you do, don't forget to vote.

Forgetting to vote would be like

going into a Publix supermarket

to order the Boar's Head Maple Honey Turkey Sub

with Saint Andre soft-ripened cheese

and then forgetting the mayonnaise.

Or like forgetting you retired

and moved to Brookville, Florida

to play golf at the fabled Pine Barrens golf course,

but instead decided to play quarterback

for the Tampa Bay Buccaneers.

And if you're gonna vote by mail, vote early

because this year the Postal Service may be slower

than a senior on the Dale Mabry Highway

who just realized they missed the turn off

for the Courtney Campbell bridge to Clearwater.

(laughs) Yes.

I know my Florida.