Now I'm normally pretty passionate about personal development.

But this year has been crazy.

I've treated my growth like my motherfucking job.

If self help will crack, I have been smoking crack this entire time and lots of it.

And one thing that occurred to me is that I should ask all the people who are closest to me what they think my biggest flies because they know me best.

Because I have no objectivity when it comes to myself.

And you might be wondering, you know why?

Why would you do that?

Do you like pain?

Do you wanna cry?

That sounds like a terrible idea, but no, it's not.

It is, in fact, fascinating to hear the people you love the most.

Tell you what your biggest freaking problem is, and I will admit, OK, I went into this and naively thinking, like in the back of my mind.

Maybe they just don't have anything to say.

I mean, I've been in therapy for so long, you know?

You know, itself helps kind of thing.

So maybe when I asked them to just be like E can't really think of anything at all.

You're perfect.

And I'm a silly little fool.

Yeah, pretty silly little fucking fool.

Now, a word of caution.

Do not ask people this if you're not fully ready to hear the answer.

I was and am really down for criticism of myself as a human being because I wanna be better.

I am just naturally curious about what people think of May and I have the time to mentally prepare to hear their opinions without any defensiveness.

So though I encourage you to also seek out your flies, don't do it if you ain't ready.

So here's what they said.

And the most interesting thing I wanna point out now is that every person I asked preface their flaw with almost this exact sentence.

Well, it's also a lot of strength, but fascinating, and I'll come back to that later.

But now friend once said, Well, it's also a strength, but I would say your need to control is probably your biggest flaw.

I mean, it's good because it allows you to like Rama said and like, be a boss.

But whenever you feel out of control, you just spiral.

That one was surprising because I kind of know I'm a control freak, but I didn't realize everyone else also knew how much of a control freak I waas friend to said.

Well, it's like also one of your strengths, but I feel like you kind of have a chip on your shoulder.

And so you feel like you have tow work so much harder than everybody else, like prove that you belong there.

I don't know if it's because that you're like a woman or like a woman of color, but it's always like you're working three times harder to prove that you're just a good as the guys that one really threw me.

I didn't see that coming at all, But once I thought about it, I was like, Okay, I can totally see that.

I see how that's the thing.

Uh huh.

And finally, Friend three said, Well, it's hard because I think it's a strength.

But sometimes you get really obsessed and this could be good, because if you get obsessed with a new idea or project the next time I see you, it's like, done.

But then I've seen you get obsessed with a person, and that seems really emotionally exhausting for you, and it definitely is for me.

Oh, I know, Um, I'm well aware of that one, and I am working on it.

But what I loved about this exercise was that it made me realize all of our flaws are probably our strengths, just the flip side of them.

Because when I think about some of my friends and their flaws, I think the exact same thing, like one of my friends, could be super judgmental and callous and not very compassionate.

But it also makes her incredibly observational accurate about people's characters, and Woody is hell.

Another friend could be kind of thoughtless and insensitive about your feelings.

But this exact quality also makes him impervious to other people's opinions of him and allows him to create art with a really unique voice without ever feeling discouraged or influenced by whatever's popular.

My last friend is super self defeating and could be afraid to even try.

But this makes her cautious, calculated, really good at evaluating risk.

And whenever she does decide to do something, she does a 210%.

So all of the things that are wrong with us can be right with us if we know how to manage them and use the aspect of these qualities that serve us.

So what are your flaws?

Or I guess I should say, Are you brave enough to find out?

I'm Anaconda and I'm a I'm gonna obsessive control freak with the chip on her shoulder.

But you know awareness.

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