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  • ♪ ♪ ♪ >> WELCOME BACK.

  • I'M SAM WATERSTON.

  • AND NO THESE EYEBROWS AREN'T IMPLANTS.

  • THEY'RE BIG NATURALS.

  • OF COURSE, WE ALL KNOW THAT TO TRULY COVER A CAMPAIGN, YOU HAVE

  • TO HIT THE ROAD.

  • SO HERE'S A LOOK AT "THE LATE SHOW"" IN THE FIELD, FROM BACK

  • WHEN IT WAS STILL SAFE TO GO OUTSIDE.

  • ♪ ♪ ♪ >> Stephen: SENATOR THANKS FOR

  • TALKING TO ME TODAY.

  • WELCOME TO SOUTH CAROLINA.

  • >> THANK YOU.

  • >> Stephen: OBVIOUSLY YOU'RE HERE TO GET TO THE HEARTS AND

  • MIND OF THE SOUTH CAROLINAIANS.

  • TO GET TO A SOUTH CAROLINAIANS HEART YOU IS ARE TO GO THROUGH

  • THEIR STOMACH, THE CONTENTS OF WHICH WILL EVENTUALLY LODGE IN

  • THEIR HEART, OKAY.

  • YOU SAID YOU'RE A FAN OF FAST FOOD.

  • >> UH-HUH.

  • >> Stephen: ARE THERE ANY WAYS IN WHICH YOU ARE NOT LIKE DONALD

  • TRUMP?

  • >> YES.

  • I READ BOOKS.

  • I-- ( LAUGHTER )

  • I CARE ABOUT PEOPLE.

  • >> Stephen: OKAY, SO THERE ARE A COUPLE OF REASONS.

  • >> A COUPLE.

  • >> Stephen: A COUPLE OF WAYS YOU'RE DIFFERENT.

  • WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE STATE SO FAR?

  • >> ALL OF THEM.

  • ( LAUGHTER ).

  • >> Stephen: REALLY?

  • >> YUP.

  • >> Stephen: YOU HAVE NO-- THAT'S VERY--... EQUITABLE OF

  • YOU.

  • >> WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE CHILD?

  • >> Stephen: I THINK IT WOULD PROBABLY BE LARRY, MY SON LARRY.

  • >> NOPE, NOPE.

  • >> Stephen: HE KNOWS I LOVE HIM MOST.

  • >> THAT'S RIGHT.

  • >> Stephen: I LOVE YOU, LARRY!

  • THE OTHER ONES ARE GREAT.

  • THE OTHER ONES ARE GREAT.

  • DON'T GET ME WRONG.

  • >> YEAH.

  • >> Stephen: LARRY IS REALLY SPECIAL.

  • >> LARRY IS THE ONE.

  • >> Stephen: I CALL LARRY THE SOUTH CAROLINA OF MY CHILDREN.

  • IF SOMEONE DOWN HERE SAYS SOMETHING DUMB OR UNINFORMED, WE

  • MIGHT JUST SAY, "BLESS YOUR HEART."

  • >> RIGHT.

  • >> Stephen: BLESS YOUR HEART.

  • >> I GOT IT.

  • >> Stephen: YOU GOT IT.

  • >> I THINK I'M READY.

  • >> Stephen: DONALD TRUMP DEFINITELY LEARNED HIS LESSON

  • FROM THE IMPEACHMENT?

  • >> BLESS YOUR LITTLE HEART.

  • ( LAUGHTER ).

  • >> Stephen: VERY GOOD, VERY GOOD.

  • NOW, LET'S IMAGINE I'M A BILLIONAIRE AND THESE RIBS ARE

  • MY MONEY.

  • OKAY, I WANT ALL OF MY MONEY.

  • >> YES.

  • >> Stephen: IT'S MY MONEY.

  • THEY'RE MY RIBS.

  • >> YES.

  • >> Stephen: I DON'T WANT ANYONE ELSE TO HAVE ANY OF MY

  • RIBS.

  • >> RIGHT.

  • >> Stephen: HOW MANY OF MY RIBS WOULD YOU TAKE AWAY?

  • >> IT'S LIKE A LITTLE CORNER RIGHT OFF THE EDGE THERE.

  • >> Stephen: THAT MUCH.

  • >> NO, NOS-- >> Stephen: THAT'S THE BEST

  • PART.

  • >> IT WOULD BE JUST -- >> Stephen: NO, I WANT THAT

  • PART.

  • >> YOU KNOW WHAT THAT PART WOULD DO-- COME ON.

  • THAT'S UNIVERSAL CHILD CARE YOU JERK!

  • HERE.

  • >> Stephen: NO, I'M GOING TO LICK THEM ALL.

  • NOW I'M GOING TO LICK ALL THE RIBS SO NOBODY ELSE CAN HAVE ANY

  • RIBS.

  • >> YOU KNOW WHAT, WE'LL TAKE IT ANYWAY.

  • >> Stephen: DO YOU KNOW THE JOKE?

  • >> NO.

  • >> Stephen: WHY IS MICHELOB ULTRALIKE MAKING LOVE IN A

  • CANOE?

  • >> NO.

  • >> Stephen: BECAUSE THEY'RE BOTH ( BLEEP ) CLOSE TO WATER.

  • >> BLESS YOUR HEART.

  • ( APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: SINCE OUR

  • REPORTERS, JIM ANCHORTON AND JILL NEWSLADY ARE SUCH HUGE FANS

  • OF TRUMP, WE SENT THESE TWO DOWN TO ORLANDO AND THEY FILED THIS

  • STORY THAT THE MAINSTREAM MEDIA DOESN'T WANT YOU TO SEE.

  • SEE.

  • ♪ ♪ ♪ >> WE'RE TRYING TO DO THE REAL

  • NEWS OUT HERE.

  • >> YES.

  • >> A LOT OF FAKE NEWS OUT THERE.

  • WE'RE TRYING TO DO THE REAL ONES.

  • >> OH, ARE YOU FOX?

  • >> NO, REAL NEWS.

  • YOU HAVE HEARD OF BLASTING?

  • >> YEAH.

  • >> WE'RE NARROWED CASTING.

  • >> I'M TRYING TO GET THE WORD AROUND, TRYING TO GET THE WORD

  • AROUND ABOUT THE NEW CHANTS.

  • WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THIS ONE?

  • HEY, HEY, HO, HO, LOCK UP HILLARY CLINTON.

  • >> I LOVE IT.

  • >> SHE'S INTO IT.

  • >> I'M SO IN.

  • >> HEY, HEY!

  • HO, HO!

  • LOCK UP HILLARY CLINTON!

  • HEY, HEY!

  • HO, HO!

  • HILLARY CLINTON SHOULD BE ARRESTED.

  • >> THE ONLY REASON WE WON IS BECAUSE OUR ELECTORAL COLLEGE

  • SYSTEM.

  • >> NEITHER OF YOU GENTLEMEN HAVE BROUGHT UP HILLARY CLINTON'S

  • EMAILS.

  • WHY AREN'T WE TALKING ABOUT HILLARY CLINTON'S-- BOO!

  • BOO!

  • >> ONE QUESTION FOR YOU-- YOU THINK IVANKA TRUMP IS REALLY

  • HOT, RIGHT?

  • >> I DON'T LOOK AT IVANKA TRUMP--

  • >> YOU'RE HONEST ABE.

  • YOU HAVE TO ANSWER HONESTLY.

  • >> I DONT LOOK AT HER AS FEMALE.

  • I LOOK AT HER AS THE PRESIDENT'S WIFE.

  • >> 2020!

  • MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN!

  • WHAT'S UP, BROS.

  • >> IF YOU COULD CHOOSE TO BE WITH TRUMP TONIGHT INSTEAD OF

  • YOUR HUSBAND AND AND BE TRUMPS-- NOT EVEN WIFE, LET'S JUST SAY

  • SIDE PIECE-- WOULD YOU TAKE THAT DEAL?

  • >> YES, ABSOLUTELY.

  • WHO WOULDN'T?

  • WHEN WOULDN'T.

  • >> Stephen: THERE ARE SO MANY CANDIDATES RIGHT NOW IF A RANDOM

  • PERSON WALKED UP TO ME ON THE STREET AND SAID THEY WERE

  • RUNNING FOR PRESIDENT, I WOULD PROBABLY BELIEVE THEM.

  • I DECIDED TO TEST THAT THEORY BY SENDING ONE OF OUR WRITERS,

  • BRYAN STACK, OUT TO TO THE STREET TO SEE IF PEOPLE WOULD

  • BELIEVE HE WAS ONE OF THE COUNTLESS MIDDLE-AGED, WHITE

  • MALE DEMOCRATIC CANDIDATES.

  • WE GAVE HIM THE NAME GREGORY WHITEMAN, WITH A "Y," TO KEEP IS

  • SUBTLE, AND TOLD HIM TO JUST MAKE UP EVERYTHING ELSE.

  • TAKE A LOOK.

  • >> CAN I ASK HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT GRETRY WHY,MAN THAT'S ME.

  • I'M GLAD YOU THINK I'M FINE.

  • I DOUBT THAT MYSELF SOMETIMES.

  • >> YOU'RE GREAT.

  • >> I'M AGAINST HIGH TAXES PARTLY BECAUSE I DID 12 YEARS IN PRISON

  • FOR TAX EVASION.

  • BUT I'M DOING ALL RIGHT NOW.

  • I LEARNED MY LESSON, SORT OF.

  • >> WE'RE IN LAW ENFORCEMENT, SO--

  • >> OH, YOU ARE.

  • .WELL MAYBE I'VE SAID TOO MUCH.

  • >> Stephen: HE MET WITH REAL-LIFE PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE

  • AND GOVERNOR OF THE GREAT STATE OF MONTANA, STEVE BULLOCK, AT A

  • POPULAR IOWA CAMPAIGN STOP.

  • >> GREAT MEETING YOU.

  • >> Stephen: BULLOCK WAS THE PERFECT CANDIDATE FOR GREGORY TO

  • TALK TO, SINCE HE AND YHYTMAN HAVE SIMILAR POLL NUMBERS.

  • I'M GREGORY YRYTMAN.

  • CAN I ASK WHICH OF THE TWO OF US YOU WERE MOST IMPRESSED WITH.

  • >> THAT'S A GREAT QUESTION.

  • I THINK IT'S A TIE.

  • >> THAT'S VERY KIND OF YOU.

  • >> .

  • I'M NOT GOING TO GIVE UP.

  • I WANT TO REPRESENT THE FORGOTTEN AMERICANS, FOLKS LIKE

  • JAY INSLEE, MICHAEL BENNETT, JOHN DELANEY AND FOUR OR FIVE

  • OTHERS.

  • I FORGET THEM, AND THAT'S MY POINT.

  • BUT I ASK YOU TO BELIEVE IN ME, GEGRY WHYTMAN, A BELIEVABLE

  • CHOICE, AND TOGETHER WITH YOUR SUPPORT, WE CAN BUILD A BETTER

  • FUTURE, AND ALSO, HOPEFULLY IMPRESS MY WIFE.

  • WE'RE GOING THROUGH A BIT OF A ROUGH PATCH.

  • SHE'S OUT CANVASSING FOR ELISABETH WARREN.

  • ( LAUGHTER ) YT, MAN, 2020.

  • SECRETARY CASTRO, IT WAS AN HONOR TO MEET YOU.

  • AND THANK YOU FOR TALKING TO ME, AND I HOPE YOU HAVE A GREAT

  • PRESIDENTIAL CAMPAIGN.

  • THANK YOU, SIR.

  • ♪ ♪ ♪ >> COMING UP, STEPHEN INTERVIEWS

  • JOE BIDEN.

  • >> Stephen: ARE YOU GOING NUTS?

  • ( LAUGHTER ).

  • >> LOOK, THE REASON I CAME ON THE JIMMY KIMMEL SHOW IS BECAUSE

  • I'M NOT.

  • I MEAN-- ( LAUGHTER )

♪ ♪ ♪ >> WELCOME BACK.

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