Now, Rick, Special Counsel Robert Mueller's investigation led to the conviction of your boss, Paul Manafort for tax and bank fraud.

And you pled guilty to financial conspiracy to hide money earned lobbying for foreign governments.

Your testimony was key in the indictments of Manafort as well as Roger Stone.

You three were basically the rat Pack if they were literal rats.

And because of your cooperation, you received a lighter sentence of 45 weekend days in prison.

Wasn't your sentence excessive given you were simply achieving the American dream of serving the interests of Ukraine.

Well, look, the Mueller probe was absolutely useless.

Has caused $32 million of taxpayer's money.

It went on a little over two years, and so it was absolutely illegitimate.

Don't get out on yourself, Rick.

Nailing your ass for a whole host of a legal was not useless.

You hear that, champ?

Is it right that no one from the W N ba put their career on hold to liberate you from a cell you walked freely out of on Monday mornings?

Well, no, I don't think that's the case at all Were used as targets to get to the president.

And unfortunately, they didn't get to him because there was nothing there to get him on.

I'm with Rick on this one.

This was an illegitimate investigation.

You should not be prosecuted if the cops are investigating a stolen pack of gum and in the process, discover you committed financial conspiracy against the United States of America.

When your book becomes a movie, do you want the same director from Mandela?

Long walk to freedom?

No, I think I'll look for somebody that z slightly more in tune with the American political scene and can hopefully, you know, keep the story to the true intent that it was written.

I'm sure Hollywood will find a director that gets you.

That place is full of money grubbing slime balls moving on last December, at your sense, saying you told the judge quote, I wish to express to this court that I accept complete responsibility for my actions that have led me here.

But recently you said that everyone involved in the probe should be pardoned.

What changed?

Besides your desire to not be the only status craving hair dye spokesperson who came out of there with a record?

Well, I think there's a clear reason why everybody should be pardoned.

It was an illegitimate investigation.

Hopefully, we'll be doing an investigation of the investigators, which I think the attorney general has already started doing and is continuing to Dio.

Yes, and I'm sure Bill Bar isn't just doing that to soothe Baby Trump's every Regeneron fueled whim now.

Rick Buzzfeed, news investigative journalist Jason Leopold and his colleagues obtained some of the special counsel's memos.

Among the discoveries was this correspondence between you and Manafort the day before you pleaded guilty.

Quote.

Manafort told Gates that he had been on the phone with Trump's then lawyer, John Dowd.

When Trump apparently walked into the room with doubt and said, to Manafort words to the effect of stay strong, Manafort told Gates that Kushner had sent him emails of support.

Now, if you could go back to that fateful day, would you have done the right thing and lied your ass off in hopes of scoring a pardon?

Look, I did the right thing to do the right thing and whether, uh, you know Paul Manafort was suggesting those were statements that actually occurred or not.

I had to make the best decision.

You know, for my for my family.

And so that's exactly you know what I did?

I didn't look at, you know, a pardon back then, or anything related to any way that the president could shut this investigation down.

Always interesting when you ask someone about a crime.

And then out of nowhere, they rushed to deny a huge crime like shutting down the investigation.

So one of our investigative journalists, Rajat Mehta, wanted to ask you a question.

Unfortunately, he is on vacation in South America, in the rainforest.

But he said it was so important it was worth spending hundreds of thousands of dollars to send a news truck to him.

Raja, are you there?

Yes.

Hello.

Can you guys hear me?

Yes.

Loud and clear.

Rashad.

Thank you.

Now, what is your question for Rick Gates s?

Oh, my, my sources.

They're telling me that Thanksgiving is coming up, and I was just wondering Rick to get a pardon.

Have you considered dressing up like a turkey?

Now?

I haven't done that yet That I think there are plenty of opportunities to do it the official way.

Do you know what a turkey is?

is it because you think the turkey is something else?

That's because I'm watching the TV.

When the president pardons the turkey is on the day before Thanksgiving.

Can you describe what turkey is just to prove it?

Uh, what a turkey is is a bird that it sounds like you don't know it.

What's that?

Sounds like.

Sounds like you don't know it.

So anyway, moving along.

What?

What's all this?

Jeffrey Toobin, uh, stuff with the with Wang.

Do you know anything about that thing about that?

My sources are telling me you were thinking of doing like, a one upping kind of thing.

Okay, Thank you for your time or shot.

Hey, no problem.

Now, Rick.

Let's talk about your relationship with the president.

Here he is at a Florida rally where he meant to say, Matt Gates, there was my people that caught them.

It was Trump's fault.

Always trumps fault.

Can it ever be like Rick Gates?

His fault of it?

Uh huh.

It's always Trump's fault.

Brick.

It's always a bummer when you get your pathetic sick of fans mixed up.

I think someone's got his 2016 deputy campaign manager on the brain while he's out with his 2020 campaign.

Rick, do you think Trump wants you back?

You know, I don't know.

You'd have to ask the president.

There always be that prospect.

I hope so.

He's doing a great job on the campaign trail on.

I think he's gonna be able to pull it out.

It was great to have that call out, even if it was for Matt Gates, but it was It was nice to hear.

Now let's show President Trump that you have what it takes to serve as a campaign surrogate in a segment we call October surprise.

We're going to throw out a likely October surprise that could damage the president's campaign.

And let's see if you can defend him.

Trump walks into the Oval Office.

Jared Kushner is there, he says.

Mr President, you might want to take a seat.

Trump sits down and notices Kushner isn't wearing any pants, but it's too late.

Kushner starts doing a little burlesque dance for Trump, smacking his bare ass and waving his for lack of better term Penis right in Trump's face.

To his surprise, Trump gets turned on, so he disrobed and grabs Kushner and the to proceed to a somersault.

69.

Just then, Elaine Chao walks in and says, Jared, Boss, you two seem lonely, she reveals she's holding a dog leash, and at the end of it is Bill Bar on all fours bars at the front of a human centipede.

Brad Part scale is in the back, and in the middle is a decomposing Jeffrey Epstein.

That's when who stumbles out from underneath the Resolute desk.

But Kellyanne Conway and Susan Collins in matching Harley Quinn costumes.

They were going at it, and they didn't even know anyone else was in there.

But now they're kind of into the idea of being watched.

Eso It's basically a full on orgy and word leaks to the entire White House.

Mark Meadows skips in.

He's woven a thick, colorful rope out of co vid masks confiscated from low income hospitals to autoerotic asphyxiate as he uses his dwindling breath to rasp out the Q.

A non pledge in walks Kimberly Guilfoyle, who ties up the Secret Service detail on the couch with their eyelids clamped open so she can force them to browse her iPhone photo album of several 1000 junk selfies while Don Jr sits in the corner, mainlining remedy severe into his scrotum, and somehow the whole story gets out.

Jim Acosta puts the microphone in front of your face.

How do you defend the Trump administration?

Rick.

So first of all, I think what you're describing is more of a Clinton Foundation banquet dinner a supposed to anything that would actually happen in the Oval.

But number two, I don't think you have to worry about it because the media will completely censor all of it.

Which is a new tactic that they've been able to use lately on political campaigns, particularly with the Hunter Biden Information.

Incest orgy is nothing compared to Hunter Biden's laptop, absolutely.